Natural Dramaturgy

(preface)

During my work as an editor at the Gorky Film Studio, I was several times lucky to get live author’s voices out of the “spontaneous” (letters of working people and amateur works). As a rule, these were talented and educated people, literary literate, but unable to enter from the front entrance to the world of big cinema. The sympathetic response to the essay sent “to the village to my grandfather” was perceived by them as a miracle.But no less (rare) a miracle for me was to find something worthwhile in the mass of boring manuscripts, including those that were professional. However, the discovery of a new talent did not always mean a real change of fate for him. Cinema is a rigid, censored hierarchical system. The more gifted a person is, the worse he usually interacts with her.A novice writer who is lucky enough to sign a contract with a film studio has to go the hard way of script corrections - even if these amendments are reasonable, they are perceived as a rude invasion of the writer's world. "" For the one who has endured, the next stage of production begins a new torment - the director takes over, the film crew obeys his dictatorial will, but he, in turn, remains dependent on the supervising authorities.Hence the complex psychological relationship between the “all-powerful” and at the same time defenseless director and screenwriter, before whose eyes the “creative team” implements his plan. Some do not stand up and prefer a hungry life, content with the respect of colleagues in the shop. Proud people are respected (now they are often considered losers).

None of this is true of the canvas-stitched notebook that came to my desk in 1976. Examining the text, written with funny childhood mistakes (the first few lines, until I was used to a specific spelling, I had to mumble aloud), I quickly realized that the woman telling her life was literary gifted.She asked the director of the film studio to put a movie for me, of course, I wrote illiterately, but you will understand and correct me in everything.

At that time, writings were already in vogue whose characters looked like a storyteller whose biography I held in my hands. Wild turns of speech, strange logic, often ridiculous, fantastic actions. And here is the original of the darkest (no longer peasant, not yet urban) human stratum. The truth of this life, its mediocrity, madness and tragedy lowered the bar of the most sophisticated works written on the same topic.

Yevgenia Kiselyova was cautious in her statements (the leaders whom she saw on television, she was partly sincere, partly flatteringly praised, mainly for sobriety, and blamed for kindness: why is Brezhnev constantly kissing foreign figures, our secret enemies? So Stalin was also trusting, friendly with Hitler, and then the war began. A report that her notebooks are politically unreliable would probably kill Yevgenia Grigorievna in the air.I don't think she'd know what this is about, but she'd be scared. According to editorial rules, the not accepted text should be returned to the sender. I could not let him out of my hands and entered into correspondence with the author. I was 27 years old, but for some reason it seemed that I would not live to see the time when this could be made public and, to preserve it, I began to look for friends in some archive.

The historical museum, where a former classmate of a friend worked, at that time was closed for repairs (which lasted 25 years), and while the notes of Yevgenia Kiselyova were curiously read by film directors and screenwriters: some admired, others expressed disdainful bewilderment. The studio typist, when I offered her money to reprint these texts (Evgenia Grigorievna sent a sequel - two more notebooks), threw them in my face and called them "nasty."During the summer holidays in the country I typed with two fingers, putting a fluffy typewriter on a stool under the pines, the younger brother sometimes helped me. The task was to translate the texts into a readable form without distorting them. It was in this form that they were published in 1992 in the journal “New World”, and, moreover, in the prose department. Out of about a hundred typewritten pages, the magazine agreed to accept 24 (one printed sheet), and I had to edit.Soviet power seemed eternal, but it collapsed before our eyes and a new life began. Yevgenia Grigorievna did not live two weeks before the joyful news that her essay was accepted by the magazine. The leading editor refused to believe that the name “Kishmareva, Kiselev, Tyuricheva” (three lives of one woman) was invented not by me, but by Yevgenia Kiseleva herself. I had to get a photocopy of the original.The originals by that time I had already transferred to the recently opened in Moscow “People’s Archive”, the existence of which I accidentally learned, as usual, from friends from Paris. Publication in the "New World" interested sociologists and linguists. Fashionable in Europe studies of "private history" were only entering into scientific use in Russia, which I, in the dark of my time, did not know.The full texts of the three notebooks, without any corrections of grammar and syntax, were published in the form of a separate book (N.N. Kozlov). I.I. Sandomirskaya "I want to call the movie" ("Naive letter"). Experience of linguistic and sociological reading. Russian Phenomenological Society. Gnosis, Moscow, 1996.This was the heroic work of the late Natalia Nikitichna Kozlova (she, being a doctor of science and professor, sat for many days in a row in the dark, damp basement of an old house on Nikolskaya Street and diligently rewrote letter by letter of an old woman’s doodle), as well as Irina Sandomirska. The group "People's Archives" was created by Professor B.S. Ilizarov in one of the technical premises of the Historical and Archival Institute.Then they were kicked out, the archive tried to close, he moved from place to place several times and still did not give up. A wide stream flooded into it what the heirs had previously thrown into the trash - old letters, photographs, personal diaries.It seems that the employees of this archive were the first to actively collect “letters of workers” in various state institutions, editorial “spontaneous”, old and new dissident literature, materials of political circles and youth associations. All this is a golden placer for historians and sociologists. Professional archivists have been working with these materials for more than twenty years, sorting them, compiling inventories, giving researchers money for their work.They understand the importance of this case and do not abandon it. I would like to express my gratitude to Galina Ilyinichna Popova, the custodian of texts of Yevgenia Kiseleva. The book “I want to call the movie” was published with her active participation. Personally, I have been criticized in this book for publishing an edited text by Kiselyova in the New World, . . . Even the title of the book is polemical to the Novomir publication, from which the author's note explaining that "Kishmareva" was removed. Kiselyova.Tyuricheva is the name of the future film. This was my editorial “authoritarianism.” The researchers, however, came to visit me and we became friends. From them, I first heard scientific terms like "discourse," "paradigm," "object-subject," and so on. To the question, who was Evgenia Grigorievna, “object” or “subject”, I did not know how to answer, because I did not understand what I was talking about. The scientists looked at each other.It turns out that they asked who the deceased Kiselyova was - the author (personality) or (relatively speaking) the character? It stunned me. Of course, personality! It's very bright. In turn, I, as a professional, found it amusing the question of how Yevgenia Kiselyova built compositions in her compositions. Then I smiled: the motive for each new passage was often resentment against a relative. In such cases, she was upset and sat down to write.However, if you look from a dramatic point of view, then each notebook has its own distinct cross-cutting plot, and it is perfectly built. It was then, in conversation with Natasha Kozlova and Ira Sandomirska, that I coined the term “spontaneous dramaturgy” (or “natural dramaturgy”). This is a separate literary story, which I hope to develop in the future.

The appeal of Yevgenia Kiseleva’s diaries has proved to be an unfathomable mystery to many scholarly commentators. The author’s literary talent was not taken into account. This secret merged with the contradictory image of a “kind, cultured female editor” who did not throw out a notebook “full of spelling errors” into the trash, and at the same time a rude interpreter who allowed herself to amend the holy “folk art”.All this was mirrored when the poet Alexander Karvovsky, who grew up in France and then lived half his life in Russia, made a brilliant "literal translation" of the original for the Paris publishing house Albain Michel. He found equivalents to the speech of the narrator, and also magically reproduced the intonation of this philosophical prose in his own way.The book was published by Sonia Combe ("Une femme russe dans le sciecle", collection "Histoire a deux voix" dirigee par Sonia Combe, Albin Michel, Paris, 2000) in a softened, literary edited form, which caused great annoyance to Alexander Alekseevich. In 2005, he was killed in a car accident. Maybe if I can find the original text of the translation and, if the copyright holders allow it, I will publish it on this website.
 

Elena Olshanskaya

New World magazine

1991. No. 2

Evgenia Kiselyova

Kismareva, Kiseleva, Tyuricheva
                             

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Preface

I’m always surprised that writers like one thing, and readers, as a rule, quite another. The authority of some is incomprehensible and alien to others, and vice versa.
“What a portrait is, what a book is a book is a rose,” Nekrasov’s ophenes also knew when they carried scriptures with pictures of generals and counterfeiters, dignitaries and jesters around the villages, take at least the “English My Lord”, the work of Matvey Komarov, and that about their life and their man, written – this is neither, what is in vain to drag: there was another reader, highly educated, dock, in a word, not other than Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy, who is a folk, and not a simple cast.Ratura put at the head of all literature, but he and the count was, sir, that Shakespeare could prefer the peasant Semyonov.
Not that our consumer of culture, a simple worker: he does not want to read about himself, he already knows this life, give him such books, "so that they are real - thicker, more threatening." So the notes of Yevgenia Kiselyova, snatched from the very thick of people’s life, written not in literary, but in colloquial, often illiterate, but almost always burning language, will interest, I am afraid, a few, but a pity. It's real.

The fate of this manuscript is unusual. In 1976, the Studio of Children's and Youth Films in Moscow received by mail a joint notebook sewn into a pillowcase, written in running handwriting, without spaces and punctuation marks, difficult to read so much that any editor would have full moral right to send it to the basket.Elena Olshanskaya, who got this notebook, not only disassembled the doodles, but also reprinted them on a typewriter, wrote off with an unknown author, received a second notebook from the Voroshilovgrad region, a continuation, in fact, of an independent manuscript, did the same with her and eventually brought them into one, making the necessary editing in such cases.And here you have these memories – “Kishmareva, Kiselev, Tyuricheva” (the author’s name), a bitter and poetic story about his life and the lives of loved ones, written in an ingenious and skillful pen.
This woman has seen a lot in her lifetime, she has experienced a lot, but it is not even that she has experienced a lot, but that she has not lost either memory or the presence of the spirit. I don’t want to talk about it in more detail – those who want to read it.I will only say that the very storehouse of her speech, the richest in its simplicity, the folklore-mythological way of thinking, which is used for the most part for comic purposes, for “animation”, here, in this narrative, are valuable in themselves as evidence of inner beauty, what in “normal” prose would look ridiculous, in these notes is appropriate and boldly fresh.Even punctuation marks, and they, as already mentioned, were absent in the original, minimal and conditional (mainly commas, in rare cases dashes, immediately giving out "literature"), are powerless to convey this lively, pulsating speech.
Not to mention the natural gift: intonation wealth, energy and laconism are amazing. For example: “I carry him, and he ends, put on the floor, and he died.” There's a whole picture in one sentence. Or a few paragraphs below: Sit, there is a fight, no piece of bread, no water, the child pulls the chest, and there is nothing in it, and what passion.Planes throw shells, tanks, mortars, machine guns, the passion of God. In some places, phrases and whole pieces of stamped propaganda cannonade are wedged into the speech of the narrator, which only strengthen the impression of authenticity. You might think - kitsch, if not for the seriousness of the author's intentions: no grin and skepticism. This documentary, almost sclerotic writing is authentic by the end, therefore artistically: the authentic is to believe.
However, in praise, it is important not to overdo it, and I already seem to retell what is better to read myself, my business is to put an end to it in time.
Oleg Chukhontsev.

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As a child, I did not live very well, my family was large. Father, mother, sisters Nyusya, Vera and two brothers - Vanya, Vitya and me. I got married for 17 years. That was 1933.
I had a husband Kiselev Gavriil Dmitrievich, we lived with him for 9 years, and we had two sons, Vitya and Tolya, born in 1935 5.1U. Victor and Anatoly since 1941 on June 22.
My husband and I lived very well, but when the war broke out in 1941, it separated us forever, and my suffering began.
My husband Kiselev G.D. worked in the fire brigade for exactly ten years before the war of 1941. When the war broke out, he was evacuated with cars, he was a party and authoritative commander in the fire station, to whom all socialist property can be entrusted. When the war began, he and his children sent me to my mother and father in the farm Novozvanovka Popasnyansky district, where I spent my childhood, and he evacuated with cars in Saratov.And soon the farm Novozvanovka was captured by the Germans, it was in September 1941, I had a baby, Tol's infant, he was 4 months old, and the second, 6 years old, son Vitya. It was cold autumn, rainy, damp. We were sitting in the basement, and at that time a shell fell into the hut, and there were no walls left. My mom had just gone to tighten her wall clock, and then she was covered. The shell exploded right in the house, the ceiling and walls fell on her, and she was crushed, she did not return to the basement, died.There was also my father in the house, he was wounded in the leg, carried out, thrown to the barn, not at all, and on the cup my leg was teleslapped, I dragged him to the neighbor's room and tied his leg with a towel. The son of Vitya came to me blind, his eyes fell asleep, but after two days he left, he began to see. I thought my boy would be blind, but no, there's a god in the world, but there's a fight going on, what am I going to do with him?
The child in the basement is lying on the boroughs, we are being chased from the farm, the Germans say they will be here now, leave, then I took the child, began to run to Kalinopaznaya. Vitya holds on to the skirt: Mommy, I can't see anything, don't leave me. My father stayed in the neighbor's room, and we are driven from the farm Novozvanovka, and he is sick, with a sore leg.Three days later, when we returned, worms began to develop in our leg, and there was an infection, and the Germans did not give any help, because the front line was standing, and all the people were driven out of the farm, and we came to save my father back home in the evening, at risk, either alive or missing. But miraculously survived, the fight stopped, and we sneaked home to our father. We climbed into the basement, but after the fight I took my father to Popasna, to a German hospital.The German doctor took my father to the hospital to help. This, he says, is only German soldiers, Russians are not allowed, Russians have no place here. I say, it's my dad, it's not a soldier, it's an old man, I'm crying, please, I fell in his legs, please save him, but it's a bad conversation to sort out, and he closes the door, doesn't want to talk. Please, I'm crying, I'm barely taken, another says, we'll cut off his leg, it's disgusting, black. But do something to keep you alive.They brought him to the hospital, and they don't put him in the hospital, cut off his leg and take him out on a stretcher, take him away, a leg is bandaged above the knee. I ran down the street looking for a place to put it, and I put the baby next to it. I'm looking for an apartment, but nobody agrees to take him to the room. One woman, thank you, agreed for a while, so I came running in and carried him and the baby to this woman with a stranger.And the Germans did not take it, driven from the hospital. I come back the second day and the hostess moans, take it wherever you want. What do I do?
I went to a relative who lived close to the hospital, asked for a car and took my father, put him on the car and drove to Aunt Irina. I took him in a wheelbarrow, and in the yard there were such bumps on the road, where there is to take such a person sick, but lucky. How many tears I poured, brought to Aunt Irina Kishmareva on the street. Artem 35. I carried him, and he ran out, put him on the floor, and he died. To bury my father was nothing and no one, you have to dig a hole, and who will dig?Aunt Irina insists: look, bury him, do not leave him at me, and you will leave yourself, I say, yes, no, I will not leave, took a shovel and a child and went to school, under the school began to dig a hole. Thank you, two women came, thin, exhausted, helped to dig, somehow dug, at least bury us in a hole, just that we go - thin, hungry, one skin and bones on us, but dug out, buried my father with grief in half under the school. Spare.There was nothing to feed women, nothing to thank, I myself went hungry like a wolf, and even a child in my chest. Barely walked around the world, forcefully drove her father to the city of Popasna to save, but she did not save. I came to Novozvanovka, and my mother lies in a hut covered with clay for several days, dead. I dug up - there was no fighting, but the Germans were still standing in our farm - pulled out of the clay, threw away the sticks, the roof, a German also helped, a soldier.There were their officers, there was a German staff, and then a second German soldier came and said I-I, war, we need to help. I buried my mother in the garden, in the garden, and I didn't cover it well enough when the fight started. They left and who went where, we were driven back from the farm. I ran to the basement, took the child and took the elder by the hand and ran to Damascina Efrosigny, let's go, or we will be beaten here. We ran with her and the children to the Bondarevskys in the dugout in the garden.They barely managed to huddle as the Russian troops began to attack. A battle ensued, we are sitting in a trench, there is a battle, I hear German officers shouting ainzwei, ainzwei, leading, and the rest I do not understand what the German shouts. And suddenly a German officer opens the dugout, and I am so hot and overwhelmed. I had already prepared to die, held the children close to me and closed my eyes. But he climbed to the third step in the trench and shouted, shouted at the troops something, and then closed the trench and ran.And I never knew the prayer “Our Father”, but in the trench I learned, Euphrosyne-aunt taught me, God give her health, maybe this saved us from death. We sit, there is a fight, no piece of bread, no water, the child pulls the chest, and there is nothing in it, and what a passion. Planes throw shells, tanks, mortars, machine guns, the passion of God. It's been a fight all day, the Russians came in the evening, shouting, don't back down, come on, come on, follow me, go on.Thank God, we are here to talk to someone in Russian. Otherwise you will understand nothing, the German muzzle, the damned bastards, attacked our country, and they are ruined as if at home. We're talking, but we're also in the trench. A young soldier came and shouted, here the Germans in the trench, and shot, only in the ground, and we shout, it's us residents. The soldier opened the dugout, and we are neither alive nor dead, as they say.And the soldier says you're not talking, I thought the Germans were bragging here, and we didn't have the strength to shout. How long have you been sitting here - two days and night - oh my God, get out, we got out, and my mother is lying in a hole unburied. The fight was over, and I began to bury my mother, or else they did not let him bury, and even the soldier was put down with his mother - wrapped in a coat, there was nothing more to cover and put on, without a coffin.The battle subsided for a while, but fought for a long time, then the Russians, then the Germans captured the farm Novozvanovka, in general, four times he changed hands. I sat in the cellar with the children, then in the trench in the garden was dug a dug out for soul-saving, and I and the children sat forty-five days on the front line. The child almost rotted in the diaper, neither to dry, nor to warm, nor to bathe, but where to think of the font, hungry and cold.The last night, when the Germans were preparing to attack us, the Russians knew and prepared. I ran with the kids at night into the garden in the trench to be saved from the fear of shells. My neighbor Ephrosyne Damascene and I climbed into a trench with children – they also had two children, older than mine – one 13 years old and the other ten.
There was a battle, and it rained, two days and night, and the next morning there was no end to the fight. As early as the evening at noon, the fight stopped, and we were almost eaten by the louses - like peas crawling over us.
The Russians recaptured and occupied Novozvanovka. We came out of the trench. By evening, the soldiers lay like sheaves, there was nowhere to walk. How many soldiers were beaten, both the Germans and the Russians. War is war, it cleanses everyone.
At night, after two days, I went to the commander of the front, I said, I want to go to the village of Kalinovo to save the children, and the forces are not here to be at war. And he scolded me greatly: “I am not here for you, go to any house and live!” I don’t have a hut, it was smashed by a shell, but I tricked myself and talked to the sergeant, and he said to the sergeant: “Here you take this woman with children when you go to get shells in Kalinovo ...” And let him be careful not to see the commander.”And I sat down with the kids at one o'clock in the morning in 1942.
January-month, it was frosty, and biting lice - evil spirits did not give us peace, just as the Germans attacked the Soviet Union and did not give rest to people. When I arrived in the middle of the night with the children in Kalinovo, I got off the breech and went to the first hut I saw, knocked on people. These people were acquaintances of my husband Kiselev Gavriil Dmitrievich at work.The telephone operator Sorokina Valya met me well, took the child out of her hands and bought it, so my child immediately fell asleep, as after the medicine he fell asleep in a sweet sleep. It was Christmas night. They burned near the image of a lamp, but today, or rather tomorrow, your Christmas, Christ, our God. I was surprised they had white walls.I was already so wild in the basement that it was wonderful to look at the white walls: how is it that there is no war here, and we have been tormented since September-month or July 1941? And they say, "We hear the shells coming out, and it's humming in the direction you came from." "Oh, my God, how lucky you are," I say. We have battles on Red Lake and in Novozvanivka. They sympathized with me and fed me and the children.The next morning I went to look for my sister Vera Kolesnikova - she was married and had a son Nikolai, 3 years old, and she had a husband - Kolesnikov Alexander Grigorievich, he was at the front. She lived here, in Pervomaisk, Mikoyan str., 23, square 4 on the mine Krupskaya. When I walked along Kalinova in a torn handkerchief, the floor torn by the dress, people noticed that this woman was walking in a torn dress, one side by the dress, and the other is not.I couldn't tell everyone where I was coming from, but one woman stopped me and I told her. I was in Novozvanovka and at night I sneaked into Kalinovo, and took off my skirt, threw out for a while so that the lice would freeze, and when the troops were preparing back into battle, I got scared and gathered with the children. I was in a hurry, and was in this dress with a torn hollow, and went, and the skirt freezes still from the lice. I came to my sister's apartment and she's not home. Maybe somewhere around here, a shell exploded nearby.And the window came out, and she went to her sister's husband, Gasha. Well, I found her, but she's still alive, even though there was someone to hang out with. We came home, inserted a window, well, like women without husbands - it is known: cement smeared windows and live. Two days lived - the soul is not in place, feels something, some grief. Bring from the city Council notice: died brother Ivan Kishmarev. He was a tanker in the army. In October 1941, he was supposed to come home to demobilize, and then the war died.Served active service, and the war ruined his life – burned in a tank. One grief and suffering. When my mother was alive, she said, “When Vanya comes from the army, I’ll get married.” I'll call the whole farm, I'll make such a wedding that I'll smoke! I'll have a feast for the world! She did not have to meet her son Vanya. Dead. There was also my mother's son Vitya, sixteen. When the war began, they were evacuated to the rear.She escorted him out with a bag behind his shoulders, but he returned and was at home with the Germans. He says that, they say, I will feed them horses, they will not touch me - I am a minor, who needs me, will the Germans kill me? I don't need it! But when his mother was alive, she scolded him: “Why did you come back?” Mother, when she escorted Victor to the rear, cried a lot, fell on his shoulders and on the bag that she prepared for him on the road.“Mother, where am I going, who needs me, who is waiting for me there?” he told her, and his mother felt sorry for him – he almost fainted, shouting: “You are my son, well, if these monsters Germans kill you in front of my eyes, do you think it will be easy for me?” She fought with him and cried and sent him back, but he was stubborn. “As long as there are no Germans here in Novozvanivka, leave,” but he did not obey.And so, when the Germans occupied our farm Novozvanovka, the battle began, and the shell fell into the hut, and smashed the walls, killed my mother, and my father was wounded, and I and my children and brother Vitay were sitting during the fight in the cellar. A fight ensued - we were very scared, just dead - such fear sharpened us. The shells are bursting, the tanks are buzzing, the shooting range is such that planes are bombed. A terrible judgment! I said to him: Here, Vitya, dear brother, if you had gone to the rear, you would not have seen anything.Let me with my children, my husband Gabriel brought me to my mother – what will happen, will happen! But you said to me, "Come on, go to the rear, and I'll just go to my mother." And now you see how to endure it all – such fear! I was not allowed to stay in May Day because Gabriel was a party man, the Germans, if they found out that my husband was a party man, I would be roasted in a pan - well, I went to my mother.
When the Germans captured Novozvanovka and went further east, I climbed out of the cellar and said to my brother: “Put on more clothes for yourself!” And we had suitcases of clothes buried in the hay, maybe we'll have to separate, and we'll take our clothes off and change them for a piece of bread so we don't starve to death.
That's the time. He and I are separated. The Germans took him to Popasna to feed the horses, then drove him away, and he walked around Popasna - swollen with hunger, begged for alms, despite the fact that his father's aunt lived in Popasna. During the war, when the Germans stood there for eight months, she married a church regent and ate her ass like a fattened pig, and Vita, her brother, did not give 100 grams of bread.The brother was swollen with hunger and shouted not in his voice, was hungry and plump, and then the Germans took him to Germany, and he served there with the landowner - herding cattle. We broke up and he didn't know where I was with the kids. And when the Germans stood in Popasna for about nine months, I was already in May Day.
In 1942, the Red Army drove the Germans from Popasna back to the West, and I came to Popasna to find out for him to this Irina. She told me everything. I scolded her a lot, but she still had my brother Viti's address in Germany, and he texted her. I took the address and wrote him a letter there. Were from Novozvanovka cotton with him in Germany. Bondarevsky Sasha said in a letter that Vitya Kishmarev was hanged.As I said, he was stubborn – probably he considered himself at home and in the Soviet Union in general, and it was not there. When I received a letter from me, without driving the cows into the yard, I received a letter on the street, sat down to read, and the cattle went to school. The mistress hit him, and he hit her, and she went to report him to the commandant's office, and he was taken and hanged. You didn't tack with him.The cruel, bloodthirsty fascists of the Russian people hated them, spit in their eyes and said: “The devil with the horns of the Union, not the people!” In particular, the old Germans fed our people trousers, and even then they did not voluntarily give them.
I live with my sister Vera, then we had a fight, and I went to an empty hut. I took a bed, a table in an empty hut, and made stools out of stone, plucked grass on the bed and chairs, put it instead of a bed - and live with children.
I received a letter at a very good time. Strange handwriting. For my husband, a stranger writes to me: “Your husband is standing in my apartment.” She's the headmaster herself. “Hello, unfamiliar wife! Your husband, Kiselev Gavriil Dmitrievich, married his young wife Vera and bought himself boots for 400 rubles. and bought a gramophone for 399 rubles. Or rather, back then, everything counted for thousands - to entertain your whore. I was hurt! I cried so much and called my children to me. What do I do?Where to go? No clothes, no shoes, and hungry!
I'm writing him a letter. And he says, "Send me a divorce." I wrote back to him: “For a divorce you need money – 500 rubles, sent me.”
I bought a blanket and a suit for Vita (“Son, Dad’s gift!”), and a little shirt, not enough money for pants, but he was still small. She wrote to her husband, “A good husband and father for sending us money.” I basically cheated him. And he's happy to try - he sent money for divorce. I did cover up a little, but I didn't get a divorce. I started applying for children's certificates, because he was an officer, and I started getting money for children. But it didn't last long.He started hiding from alimony. Thanks to my sister, Nyusa, who tracked him down, she brought him to the search bureau. But it took a long time to find him - he had three wives. Vera, who had a daughter, and Valya, who had a son, but I have two, three marriages – what should I do?I consulted Sister Nyusay and decided to find him wherever he was, to talk to him face to face, and I decided to go to him, but when the letter was written by Gabriel “Divorced,” I had nothing to wait for. The war was over, and people came from the front, men, and my home was gone. I went looking for my husband Gabriel. Sit down at Popasnoe station and went to Svyatoshino, on the wanted list they gave me an address. I came to Svyatoshino.To tell the truth, I did not know how to go before the war, I did not go anywhere, but I brought the locomotive. I'm getting off the train, I found the part where he was, but he's gone. In this headquarters, she opened the door, walked in, and there is a woman sitting at the table, an accountant.
- Are you Kiselyov's wife Gabriel Dmitrievich?
I said, Yes.
Well, my heart told me that you were his wife, and he married Valais, and they had a son.
I said that, yes, I am very sorry that my husband does not fight, and the children scattered around the world, but what will you do, I think what did not kill me there, on the front lines, but even when I was driving to Kalinovo at night and got up from the brig and returned to the brig for tobacco (one fighter gave me two packs of tobacco, on, he says, exchange for bread for children, and I forgot at the brichka and went away, and then returned, began to taunt at the brig, and the soldiers chase horses and did not see how I almost came up, and one night it was shot at me, and one of my life, and I was shot.I can't see. Who's climbing into the breech? I said I forgot the tobacco. Well done, I shot you, but you quickly responded, you need to shout, they say, stop. - Oh, my God, there is no strength to talk, I want to eat. Well, they started joking, they say, well done, you will be an ataman.
Gabriel his third wife the other day almost burned with gasoline, saved everything with a gurt, doused and threw a match. I'm asking where he is. - He's not here, the other day he went nowhere, I don't know his address, but I'm going to call the colonel. I went to call. Colonel Weinstein came and invited me to his office, a good man, and we talked with him, and he gave me an address in the Kiev military district, there should be officer fees.I gave me a car, but the car was on the flight, I had to wait a little, but I fell asleep on the grass from fatigue from the road. Such there is air, grass, forests all in greenery, in general, part stood in Svyatoshino in the forest. I sleep, and soldiers come to look at me like a beast: what kind of wife he needs, what a pretty one – I heard and woke up. The scumbag officer Kiselev, how many children do you have? I said two. I went to Kiev.I drove up to this house, I never saw such a big house, where to go, I don't know, there are many doors, there are many floors, there are many rooms, the devil knows what to do and where to go, what doors. There's a phone hanging up, I don't know how to dial it when I've never held the phone. A soldier comes in and I stand there crying. - Why are you crying? I don’t know how to use the phone or where to call. - What do you want?I told him in detail, he took the address of the military unit from me and started calling. It was six in the evening. When I was going to look for my husband, Sister Nyusya gave me the address of her friend, they were evacuated together in Kazakhstan, both were wives of officers, and when the war ended, her husband took Galka to the city of Kiev, at the duty station.Here I go into the corridor and opened someone else's apartment, I wanted to ask where Galya lives, so an unfamiliar woman told me: "What are you asking, there's a stencil and read who lives." I was scared, I read, I know how to read. But I just misunderstood. What to look for by stencil, in the house or entrance. I read, there is one, thank God, opened by an elderly woman, it turns out, her mother. I ask if Galya lives here, so-and-so, here, please come in.Galya immediately recognized me by my sister. "You look like Anya!" I told her everything, and she said, "Let's get dressed, and she pretzels me, powders me, tears the skin off her tanned face, and she paints her lips, and my sister's dress is beautiful." Let's go look for fees. We went to one unit, to another, and called, of course, she knows everything there in Kiev, but no officers' fees were found anywhere.And then they went to Solomyanka, Galya came into the room, General Miznikov told her: “There are fees here, and what you want, wait, there will be a break.” “The wife of officer Kiselev Gavriil Dmitrievich has arrived.” - "Wait, there's a break." The break started, I came in. So he grunted at me like he didn't want to see what he came for! I give him a note from Colonel Weinstein, he tells him that the first and legitimate wife of Kiselyov, Gavriil Dmitrievich, has arrived, looking for him.When he read the note, he immediately softened and invited him to sit down. I began to cry, and he says: “Sorry that I raised my voice at you, I thought that you are a modern skirt, and I hate them.” – “I came to him, he has not paid me for children for four months, and I have nothing to live, and the child is small.” "Okay," he says, "so your husband Kiselyov is not here at the training camp.""How am I going to look for him there?" “And how,” he says, “when you get to the station, you’ll walk – look to the right, there will be a big weed, and there are planes in the weed, so you go there.” I thanked the general and went to Gala for the night, stayed up all night, thinking how I would go and how he would meet me.Yes, when I left the room, an officer came up and said: "Listen, Kiselyova, I am from Poltava, I will go there tomorrow, I will come to you, give me your address here." I did, and Galka and I went to her house. The second day I left without waiting for that officer. I come to the station, I go, I look to the right – though, there is some weed that barely noticeable planes. A soldier is coming, I asked him how to get to the unit. "Why?" he asks me.And I say I'm here to see my husband. "Who's your husband?" I said that my husband Kiselev Gavriil Dmitrievich, an officer, and he immediately said that “he is my officer, I serve him,” immediately took my suitcase out of his hands and said: “Here I will take you to him, but he is married, he has two wives?” "I don't know, I have two kids." - "He's got a kid too, boy." "What does he think," I say, "he's an officer, he can have three wives, a fool."I went, I swore, I will not stay anywhere, I will not forget you, and now I have married more than once, this is the third, Valya. We came to the station, I'm waiting for the car when he arrives. The car came and my husband got out of the car and came up to me, and I was standing there looking at each other. Come here! I said, ‘Come here,’ he came to me and said, ‘Why did you come here, I got married?’ But the devil knows you, in the city of Grozny he was married and married here, there is Verka, here Valka, because I learned in Svyatoshino.What do you think, and where do we put our children and I get married? - I'm paying for the kids. “And for the devil to pay for you, for four months I haven’t received anything and haven’t heard where you are, you’re all getting married,” and I see nothing behind the tears. Soldiers gathered by the car, looking at us like fools. Everyone winks and jokes, here's the officer, puts on epaulettes, but everything gets married so that the girls run more, and he is not lost, what will happen next in life.“Thank you, the search bureau found you, reported you. That you're alive and well, you get married. You're hiding, fool, from your blood children. From the sons who lived in love, they look like you, Vitya and Tolya, I at least remember their names, or you forgot. They grow up asking where our father is. I say he got married and left us, that's all. “Well, let’s not argue, let’s go to the office and talk, because there’s a lot of people listening.”“Let’s go,” I say, and so we sat and talked until two o’clock in the morning, after that he went home, and I stayed on the couch to sleep in the unit. In the morning they come together with Madame - well, meet me. We met where you were going, and they took me home, where they lived in an apartment, and walked through the bazaar to their apartment. She bought me pears - big, tasty, fresh - "Help yourself." Zhenya! "Thank you," I said. Come home.The child climbs the floor - the exact Gabriel, similar to him. She cooked borscht, dumplings with cottage cheese, and when the child was capricious, I would pick him up and amuse him, but Gabriel did not see me holding him. He'd go to the unit, and when he came to the apartment, I'd throw the kid on the floor and pretend I wanted your baby like I had two. And the child is innocent, I know you're fools. Gabriel came, but he was no longer Gabriel, and Grisha - renamed.Sit down for dinner, and she says, covering her eyes: how could you leave such a wife? And he says, "Oh, the fool doesn't care, I pity you." I told her, but I, Valya, with such beauty and youth, would never allow my pocket to be divided into three parts. - Like three parts? - There you go. In the Caucasus, another wife Vera, the girl was born, and also signed, and now he has three marriages. - He didn't tell me. Oh, didn't you?This is how he will now pay for his children – he hid from one wife and another for a whole year. Now it is a thousand nine hundred and forty-six years, he thinks that he will hide forever from children and alimony, no, in the Union you will not hide anywhere, still find and punish, not now, so later.They ate until the evening, and went to bed, well, of course, Gabriel went to bed with his wife young, and I was offered to lie alone on the bed next to me, well, what a dream I have when my husband lies with his mistress, and I am next to him. Of course, it was midnight, I did not close my eyes, I was so hurt, but I was silent, at twelve o’clock I got up and went to the humidor, and from the humidor I went into the kitchen, but I did not know exactly how long it was.When I went into the kitchen, the hostess herself was afraid of where the woman came from, I say, I came to my husband, and she looks at me, I want to know what time it is now, I need to catch the train so as not to be late. I'm going to ask the neighbors, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, two o'clock in the morning. She says, lie down and sleep; I say, I cannot sleep. Yes," she said, "it's hard for you to live through, but you're still patient, and I'd break it up if my husband did that.You see, at two o'clock in the morning I just came from work, kolkhoz pumpkins stole and cooked for the children at night so that no one could see, and delayed to come later from the kolkhoz to feed the children, and he is getting married, oh, my God, my heart hurts for you, what a seasoned woman you are. - Yes, you will be restrained in the wrong direction, here they can kill me, and I have two children left orphans, we must endure. Lying down, not lying down, getting up, waking up my husband, getting up, let's get on the train.We got together and went at night, not knowing how long it was, guessing about the morning, walking along the way, he took me by the arm, says, let's get together and live, we have two children. But I don’t see the way, I cry, I tell him how we will live, you will work for illegal children, feed them, and I will feed you and my children! You're confused, you're a peacock in a peacock with these marriage papers, why did you sign?I would walk without painting, and the war is over – I came home and everything: “My dear, my dear creature,” took a suitcase, said “goodbye,” as the song sings... You fool, you can't say anything else!
We came to the station, stood for a long time, until it was morning, it was dawn. We waited eight o'clock in the morning and the train arrived. My dear kissed me, and I went, and the money, alimony came, the financier sent me. I came home and the kids said, “Why didn’t you bring my dad?” - Dad has a son, and he doesn't need you! We cried and did nothing, and were left without his own father.
I am marrying according to his covenant, as he wrote to me earlier, for a disabled Patriotic War - I limped on my leg, was wounded in the leg in battles. Tyurichev Dmitry Ivanovich worked after the war in the Krupskaya mine as a tenant, he loved to drink vodka and loved strangers’ women, from whom my heart was worried with jealousy.
I came almost every day drunk and raised a row in the room: not so opened the door, not so looked at him, and don’t you tell me when to come at eleven o’clock in the evening, and he comes at three o’clock in the morning and later, or even at dawn, from the second shift. Why don't you look like that, hide me with obscene owls, insult me as you want, for a pot - and beat me.
But the kids have grown up. Vita was seventeen years old, he had already begun to fight him: why you, selfish, beat your mother, because she is not to blame. She's been waiting for you all night, and you've been dragging around, and now you're picking up a poker on her.
- Are you standing up for her, son?
- Yes, I'm intercessing because she's my mother and it's not my fault, she's not a stranger's aunt; if she came as late as you, drunk, I'd help you give her the hell, and why are you hitting her? You disguise yourself, put on your glasses, like it's not your fault, you humbug. Don't lay hands on my mother, you damned bastard, but not my father!
There was another such case in the one thousand nine hundred and forty-ninth or in the fiftieth year. A neighbor came, we talk about this and that, and she says that they give a salary at the Menzhinsky mine, where my second husband, Dmitry Ivanovich, worked. I said, "And I wonder why our father has been gone for so long, it's just that you know, drunk will come."And so at eleven o'clock in the afternoon a girl knocked, I came out, it turned out, Tsykalov's daughter, saying that my father had received your money, let's go, take the advance, it's at our house. So Dmitry Ivanovich is not yet from the night. Well, go, Aunt Zhenya, you'll get whatever it is you or him. And then there were strong queues for wages at the cash register, and Tsykalov Maxim Stepanovich guarded the cash register at night and went to the bank with the cashier, so he was given our money.Tsykalov Dmitry Ivanovich taught the detennikov business. The difference was that he or I took the money from Tsykalov. He was jealous of him. I got the money and I'm going home. I see, on the other side comes my husband Dmitry Ivanovich from work, drunk in the smoke. I came into the yard, I came to the house, and he also stands silently, and then he takes the bucket and swings at me and misses, because I immediately moved. And he didn't hit me, but he hit the wall, and so the snare flew.I said, "Why the hell are you hitting?" - And you run to the mine, you get my money? - What are you? I took the money from Tsykalov, they told me they came home to take the money. - Aah! Are you dragging along with him?! And he drank at his mistress's and puts on glasses so that I wouldn't tell you where you've been dragging yourself up to now! "So he gives you money, gets my money, manages it?" - Well, then you probably agreed that he should get your money, so you wouldn't stand in line.And he insults with obscene words, does not give a word to say. He popped into the room, snatched ficus and rose from the flowermen and ran out into the yard and shouted obscene words. He interrupted everything in the room. Even the wires broke in the room. Perina cut everything: feathers in the room, all in feathers himself, like hell. Grape around the room - tore bags with cereals, broke the table, chairs, stools. The room's all chips. And the goat came in and we were holding the goats.Inadvertently the barn opened and the goats popped out. A goat ran into the room, so he grabbed a fork and put a goat in the neck of a fork, and she ran, bekal, bekal, until she fell and died in the room. He went to the neighbors and asked where Zhenya was. But the neighbor said she didn't know. So I went, all swearing obscene words: "I'll be right there." Where is she? he shouted at me. I ran away.
As far as third street, just asking where are the kids? That’s what my second husband was – an egoist, a despot Tyurichev. At the beginning of my acquaintance with him, he worked as the head of the LCD in 1945. I went there to fix the cellar and get the cow out of it where it had fallen. The barn was built on a cellar once, not in my memory. And I wanted HKO to help me. That's where we met him. I adopted him in 1945; first I owned a cow, and then I sold him and got a job.He took me off the job. I worked in 1947 at the Krupskaya mine as a loader, in a surface construction shop. I was jealous almost to the pole when I was made foreman. They took gravel and stone to the Sokologorovka mine, built a bakery in 1947, so he saw me in the car cabin and tore up and metaled, mad. He said, “I don’t want you to work.” I went to the ward and asked to be fired.“I will provide for her and the children myself, I don’t want her to work with people, especially men.” And fired me from my job. And when I stayed at home for twenty-one years, when we separated, he said to me and generally said: “I earned my pension, but you do what you want.” Now don't reach out for my money, my pension. That's how I stayed, as they say, like a gum on a chopper when we separated.It was impossible to live with him, so audacious that the earth would not give birth to such fools, he received a pension of one hundred and twenty rubles, and I did nothing, neither as a wife nor as a maid. I was married to him. But it was fictitious because I didn't divorce Kiselev. I had two marriages - with Kiselev and with Tyurichev. But since such a life was impossible for me with Dmitry Ivanovich, I was lost to divorce Kiselyov.Today is tomorrow, and it is so common that neither marriage is valid. I lived with Tyurichev twenty-one years, and of them they diverged seventeen times, and for the eighteenth time they separated forever. I got strong and cut it off once and for all. It was so – he worked at the Poltava mine, replaced Kovriga with a scavenger. The mine was small, and at that time there was a card system.In 1947, he received ten thousand bonds for the workers’ bread cards, disposable coupons and advances of his and his comrade, Karakulin Dmitry, and he received everything and went to the pub to take his soul off the advance, and all this was stretched out in a beer house on May Day, and his first wife, Nyurka, lived nearby.They thought everything: drunk to the point of unconsciousness and lying near the pub under the fence, until he woke up, sobered up, came home - a goal like a falcon, all his comrades pulled - those who drank with him. But you didn't. I went into the room and cried, “What am I going to do?” I'll hang myself!
I went to the mine and started begging the workers, ‘Please forgive the fool, the drunkard.’ What if they take him away and put him in jail, give him a sentence, and what is lost, you will not return. “Let us not die, though we are hungry, but let us forgive him, a fool, an alcoholic.”
I received alimony for the children and owed this friend a debt, and somehow survived, settled this case. In 1948, I came from Popasna, one day I was late to cook dinner, chose from the stove and took the bugle out onto the street on a pile, where I was before, but the neighbor pulled out the bucket and threw it away, well, we quarreled with him a lot, he says that you should not pour it on this place, they say, everyone under the yard rash.“I didn’t know,” I said, “can’t you speak humanely?” He screams, I cry, and he was teased by Pasha Zhulyabina, the neighbor. He hit me. Dmitry Ivanovich learned about this, he was told by Vitya and Tolya, my sons, they were still small. And Dmitry Ivanovich was at work. I came from work and went to Korzhov. Bashing his teeth. He sued Dmitry, and he's my husband, damn it.Let me go and say, "Vanya, Paul, forgive him, please, he was drunk, bad." No one wants to forgive him. Then Dmitry Ivanovich at work began to ask the authorities. They both worked at the Pervomayskaya mine - and Korzhov and Tyurichev. Well, the head of the movement, Celine Ivan Zakharovich, persuaded Ivan Korzhov to reconcile. Ivan agreed and took the documents from the court. I told him: “Take whatever you want, at least boots, even an accordion!” - Or a coat.He said he wanted a hundred rubles. Well, we agreed - to hell with them, with a hundred rubles, just to forgive. I say, "There is a wide door, and from there a narrow door is from prison." I went to the office, wrote a hundred rubles, then it was a thousand, everything was for thousands, brought, and he took only 800 rubles. Well, Korzhov did not insert his teeth, but drank everything up to a penny and reconciled - as a hundred poods were removed from his shoulders. Oh, my God, how much I went through with this husband, Dmitry Ivanovich Tyurin!In 1947, her husband came home from work. We had two piglets. And he says, "I'll leave you, I've found a woman, and let's share." Of course, I won't share chickens. It was my mother's cow, and I bought chickens myself, without him. And then they made two pigs. "Well, let's share." And he's drunk, he calls me obscene. You are, you are. Takes a pig, an accordion, a knot of clothes, drags a pig in a bag over his shoulder. Like a fool with a written torp!They shared it and went to Semaphorenaya at night, and I said, “Be damned, go!” He lived there with Natasha, his mistress, for four days. He does. "I'll go home." "No, don't!" I said. He lived another five days, came, cried: “I will not do this anymore, accept!” He asks for children, asks for my relatives, drank everything, lived on Semaphornaya. In just nine days.The goal returned like a falcon, asks, falls on his feet, kisses his feet – “I will not cheat on you anymore, I swear, dear, I am a fool, for whom I exchanged you, what I did, I am a stupid fool!” Well, I forgave him, they began to live on, so I took to eat at the Pervomaiskaya mine, and the devil told me to go to the lamp room, to see this prostitute who was dragging along with my husband.
When I went into the lamp room, I don't know if I was standing or walking, I was so upset, nervous, that I almost fell there on the porch in the doors by the lamp room. That whore was so ugly, toothy, mouth to ear, crooked. I got my mouth full of saliva and spit right in her face! “So Dmitry before you went to Semaphornaya, you are a prostitute!” – so I swear, but still accepted him, in spite of prostitutes.We lived in the winter, and he went back mad for the summer and went to Natasha a second time, lived four days - what an idiot! Well, I went to take away from her - to spite - what will be, will be - no longer possessed itself. A long time passed, he married Zinka Kuzmenkova, had already forgotten that he licked my legs, four months later he twisted with Zinka, left again, lived four days with her, scattered his things, drank and came, crying: “I will not again, forgive me, dear”, I forgive and accepted back.I think it's hard to live with kids, too, but at the time. We lived for probably about six months, when he twisted with Nyurka Supervisor, picks on every word – said it wrong, looked at him wrong, called me obscene words. “Why are you picking on me? You find yourself a bitch, so go (I've already studied it), go, don't be naughty, don't make a scandal. Scandalizes and leaves.He went to Nyurka Nadzirateleva, lived there for a week, drank what he took, and came, crying crocodile tears and asked: “Take me, I will not do this again.” I took it back – maybe it won’t do that anymore? But the humpback grave will correct, as the proverb says. There is good, sunny weather in the yard, but the soul was never good, always sadness and tears.You see, people from the outside are cheerful, laughing, cheerful, but I never laughed, never. And if I laugh, it will be a big grief for me, some kind of trouble, I already knew, I noticed.
I went to the office of Menzhinskaya to receive money, then there were large queues, I am told by the workers who work for my husband in the movement that Dmitry Ivanovich is lusting with Maruska. I think I cried a long time ago, asked that I would not be again? Here is an incorrigible creature, once walking down our street, but on the other side, waiting for him until he comes out of the yard, - says Natasha Zaporenaya to me - Mary walks along your street and near your yard and house, dear neighbor. What am I gonna do?I'm now, Natasha, taking shit in a bucket and water, pouring it on her head. “No, you won’t do that, I’d help you, but I’m afraid he’ll take revenge on me at work, because I’m working on his movement, damn it, don’t touch her!” So I came up and asked her what do you want on our street, Maria? You wait for him, so go - I take her hand - go, take him, this happiness.She says, "Fuck me, I need him!" - Well, - I say - look, if I see you with him, don't be offended then, or else go, take it, if he goes with you, I don't mind, but don't ask for forgiveness, if I see you with him, then I'll make you a carteballet. - "I don't need him." - Why are you walking around here? I just walked away from her, and she says obscene words to women: you think, I have a husband, he is her husband, just like me.On the weekend, my husband, Dmitry Ivanovich, is going out for a walk. I ask him, where are you going? He says, What's your business? - What's my business? - He doesn't want to talk, got ready and went, I decided to follow him and went, reached the store Menzhinsky, not far from the store canteen, office, hairdresser. I met a woman, Nadia Soldatenkova.
- Zhenya, hello! Are you watching?
- Can you tell?
"Yes, obviously," she says, and I didn't tell her for a long time, and then I told her. - What do you think, that's right, so come to our yard and sit down, and I'll track him down and tell you. I went, sat down in the yard, and she came, and she said, "Look, Zhenya, there he went, went to the office, wrote out the money, went to the barbershop, shaved, went to the dining room, drank two hundred grams, and took a bottle and went where she, this Maria, lives in the apartment."I went after him, he didn’t even expect me to follow him, I came to the barracks where she lived, where the woman brought in a wheelbarrow from the rock to the wood. I run up and ask, and the corridor was long, what room does Ninka live in, and Ninka had this Maria, your husband's mistress, in her apartment. "Here," she said, "is the first room."I grab rubbish from the wheelbarrow, hit the door with my foot, it dissolved, and there is already a table set and a bottle on the table, I like to hit the table with trash and broke everything that was on the table. And he squirted his coat and walked out of the room, but I did not go out, but grabbed this mistress by the hair and kicked her in the stomach and in a sinful place, tearing her hair, and even dragging her, giving her thrushes, became like a snake, and then I think with whom else to fight, where he, an idiot, I would give him devils.Of course, I know what I'm doing indecently, but I don't own myself, so upset. I come home and he's gone. After a while he comes, I clutched at him like a snake, and he grabbed me by the hair and on the cleaner with his head, dumped me, there was a fight, I kick him out, he takes his things and goes to her, walking down the street drunk and appear on our street Mikoyan under the handle.Nine days pass, it comes, it begins to ask, oh, you dog, how long will you marry me, you damned idiot! I take it back – as if I was enchanted – I needed it in the devil, I’m pounding, I know I don’t need to get together, I agree. We want to live, back so good has become, melts the stove, carries water, kisses me endlessly. “Woman, my dear, there is everything foreign to me, here I am so happy at home...” We love affection, but not debauchery.
It was a rainy day and we went to his son Andrew. We were walking, drinking vodka. - Mitya, let's go home, the children are waiting for us at home, - and he didn't want everything, sweared, said drunk, well, with grief we went in half along the road, he lay down in the collage so that I disconnected, and I pull him, as it was difficult for me to fight with a drunken man - then goes, then does not want. We reached the paths through the Yar, and he fell and does not want to go, refuses, he decided to go to his mistress, and I interfere with him.“You damn idiot, why are you kicking in the stomach, I don’t want you to get wet to the bone!” – and he reminds me of her name, then I guessed what I didn’t want to go. - I'm saving your life, look at the rain. "Come, so-so, from me..." No, I'm not leaving, you idiot, you're still fighting! Well, we got there sometime, got stained like a pig, fell into caulks, and then on the second day he openly said: I wanted to go to Natasha, and you prevented me.- You would have said that yesterday, I would have gone home peacefully, if you had been damned, I would have left you in the grave, you idiot.
I have sadness and eternal tears. One time, the two of us went to Mayday, to the market, and I fell - I had my first attack. People looked around, looked like a beast, and some women said to him: “Pick up to yourself, she lost consciousness, and you, the villain, look.” I fell from the good life, and I started having seizures, and I became a seizure. Epilepsy.But he did not restrain himself with his lusts, still drank, walked, brawled in the room, for nothing, for nothing, naughty, fool, to me, all I was guilty, although I was not guilty of anything, everything wore fantastic glasses.
In the year nine hundred and forty-six I thought of speculating, of profiting on a piece of bread. I picked up soap in the store on a blat and went to Popasna to trade in the market. She stood all day, and she didn't sell anything, but froze, hungry as a dog. Well, how do you go, where do you go home? It's already evening, no cars. I went to the station and wanted to go cuckoo. Just came, and the cuckoo left, well, what to go, my God, so hard at heart - at least shout the guard, what to do?And I know that Dmitry will eat me at home, that she stayed so long. I clutched on the merchandise, stand at the tender, and my legs froze, I cry and say: my God, maybe where to go now or jump under the engine? No, I didn't dare, I came to the Menzhinsky station, I was tired, I was going home, I came, but he wasn't, I left, completely abandoned me and took my shoes. I looked around the room, what's not there yet, nothing's taken. On the second day, I will find out who he has gone to - to the niece of Nyurka Afonina.I'm going. Why did you take my shoes? - I want you to come for me. You didn’t ask me how I drove, how I was hungry all day, pity me, please me? I didn't ask how I suffered, you shit, not a man, nothing else! I got my shoes, I go home, and then he goes, sorry, sorry. Well, two months lived, as he widened my eyes: how you went to Popasna dragging.
In one thousand nine hundred and forty-seven, a woman with two children in her arms and his niece Nyurka come in: “Here, Dmitry Ivanovich, look, your twin sons, walked with a watchman, when the Hungarians stood behind the wire on Krupskaya in the camp,” take them, what they do for me! Get out of the room!
She cries - and indeed - where does a woman with two children go? Oh, a whole concert! I tell him: go away from me, what do you think, offended a woman, what should she do, take the children and leave me, bring up together. She puts the kids on the bed, and he puts her and the kids on the door. Scream full of hut, barely escorted out!
I kicked him out: I don't want to live with you because you're like that. Spread out. But he did not go to live with her, and went and married Polina Ovcharova. Wherever she saw me, so imagined, but I did not pay attention, let him imagine what he was like. And he gave concerts there for four months, which they expelled every day, and he asked his sister: Go to Zhenya, talk to her. So she came and we started talking to her.All I said was that I always keep the door hooked, but in the morning I knew he wasn't coming, so I threw the door down. "Accept him..." - Oh, come on, how nervous you can be. "Well, he's not going out anymore, and this woman has gone to the countryside with her kids." - Well, I don't know what to do.
His sister Natalia left, I go for bread to the store, and Ovcharikha goes to meet me on the line with such a smile, with such a force, as if she was standing, and laughs at me ... I walked by quietly, and she said to me: Well, what have you gained? I didn't say anything, I came home, I'm so sorry what to do! I went to the second store and met his niece Shura. She says, "Well, Aunt Zhenya, let Uncle Mitya come before you, live, don't be fooled!" What am I going to tell her?No, not that ten! I came home, I think, and thank God. But Ovcharik wanted to teach a lesson, there was jealousy. On the morning of the second day at five o’clock in the morning I went to the toilet without any second thought: I go back from the toilet, I go to the apartment, and he is already sitting on the bed in his underwear, undressed, stripped his shoes and says: I’m not going anywhere from your hut. Where did you come from so early that you came? Stop kicking me out, stop pissing us off, let's live like people!You're not human, go to hell, you're sick of your behavior! - Come on, come on. - That's how I stayed. We live back, we talk back: we agreed, people have something to talk about, and we have a honeymoon.
Ovcharik looked at me obliquely, but I kept turning away and seemed not to notice her, but she was uncomfortable and closed her hand when we walked and met her. We continue to live, age, in retirement – one disorder, not the husband. He did not know what to do, the marriage stopped, there was nothing to marry.
My husband calculated, did not want me to work, but to make him comfortable and cooked hot borscht, and then who is more cunning: he earned his pension a hundred and twenty rubles, and I nothing. And after the separation, I began to work – to earn a pension and a living. She kept tenants and three people, almost on her head.First kept the girls, and then began to keep the clappers - I realized that girls are unprofitable to keep, and the guys are profitable: do all the men's work, cut wood, repair the gate, fence, all the hard work do. Even though they drink vodka, I'm nervous, but who doesn't drink now, when it's the vodka age! All for vodka and vodka, without vodka nothing and nowhere. Make me a box of coal and give me a bottle. Bring the coal - give the fee - the bottle. Bring some wood, give me a three-liter bottle.
I was given a prize of twenty rubles for ten years of my service in the security department, a prize for my good service: never did a district foreman catch a sleeping woman at the post, participate in collective work, even in a shooting range, although I do not shoot – I can’t, I shake when I shoot, from the sound of a shot I get bad to an attack, but still go to more people in our brigade and our training foreman was encouraged.I would kiss everyone in the security department that they accepted me for a job, that I do not go - I am a beggar, sick, who needs me, I know this well! I don’t want my children to be disturbed, they have their own needs and families. I want to earn my pension so I don't have to fight. Thank you to the Soviet government, to the Great Party headed by Comrade Brezhnev for the laws that we disabled people work, not fight. Thank you for your attention to us elders.
Here's one example. I won thirty rubles from my salary to my own grandson to buy shoes on the platform - Yuri. So now it is fashionable, and he is already, consider, a gentleman - the seventeenth year. I think I'll help my son, albeit a rare help from my grandmother. So, I said to Victor, look, tell Yura to come to me by three o'clock, and then go to GUM together and buy shoes.I did not wait, I went to GUM, waited two hours for him to come to try on shoes, and so I will not take (take, and then go change, if they do not fit, and my legs hurt, I can not walk, and if I go to the store, I will not reach Victor). So Yura never came. I washed myself with tears and came home: for my money, I think, I am stuffed with my good, and they are alienated, I am so offended... On the second day I go to Victor to cook borscht, and on the night I did not go to work - it was a day off.Maria, the daughter-in-law, is in the hospital, I cooked borscht, put out the duck, and they ran away from home, did not even eat hot borscht, I turn out to be a stranger. And I am offended, I go home and cry, on the way I went to Binchuk Vasi and Rai, sat with them until nine in the evening, and they escorted me home, but I did not complain. When I was at Victor's, I wrote a note to Yura: Come, even your address (21 - 1, Kiselyov St.) - maybe it will come.I never came, and on the second day I went to Mary, carried her transmission, and I myself cry.
One thousand nine hundred and seventy-six years are coming, I hear on television: the 25th Congress, each in its own branch, and the approval of Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev. As I understand it, Brezhnev is worthy of the whole world for his attitude to people, not only to us in our multinational country, but also to foreign countries. I am proud of my leadership in our country.Brezhnev walks in the conference hall to the podium proudly, slenderly, with a smile, despite the fact that he is seventy years old, and he lifts the spirit of pride and skill - he conquered so many countries without tears and blood, but with kisses and hugs. Dear Leonid Brezhnev, I am writing this book and I know that Hitler drank seas of tears and oceans of blood. I know, nine hundred and forty-two years in the city.Pervomaisk in the club named after Kovalenko drove an unknown number of our soldiers prisoners, closed and put guards, clogged the windows, and these soldiers died of hunger, there and recovered and died not at once, and the living smelled dead stench, and all died as one, and then drove the car after a month, loaded like wood, and we were driven to dig holes for soldiers. That’s where their youth lay, because they wanted to live and blossom as youth blossoms and enjoy life.But now people of this age, or rather, young people, do not understand what is bad - dressed, shoes, eating on their money - just work and enjoy life! Our people, especially our young people, are dissatisfied with what our rulers give abroad, help Cuba, Vietnam, Romania, Hungary and many countries, I cannot remember, and I often quarrel with them. Tov. Youth, we have such a policy as Tov said and wrote.Lenin, we must share with any country and make friends so that there will be peace and there will be no cursed war. Our country is rich, our Russia is envious of our riches, it is better to give, but it is bad to ask. Let there be peace on earth, let there be sun, that the sky may be clear, and that we may have joy in every human being.
In the yard there is good weather for almost the whole month of February 1980, sunny, quiet, frosty, smiling to all people weather. Everyone praises, and you want to take a walk in the Russian Winter, but we do not have it, the administration does not organize it, maybe it will, and when you do not hear it. Everyone on the globe is the same, everyone doesn’t want war, and what does President Carter want? Is it Brezhnev L.I.?I would not share what they need with an exchange, because you can agree, and our leader Brezhnev L.I. puts all his efforts to settle the peace between the two countries, the United States and the USSR, and he climbs like a viper, sneaks up, finds fault with every word.Here is the Olympics, it is a good game, and let them play, and they are happy, and we have something to watch on TV, but still our athletes will not fail anywhere, well-dressed in winter clothes, fur jackets, and work very hard to be the best of the best, and brought ten awards, if I am not mistaken. Dear athletes, we, the fans, have fun in the country from our winners at the Olympics.

When I was young, I was 15 or 16 years old, and we used to go for walks in the evenings. My father used to swear, he didn’t let me walk outside, my mother scolded me that he let us in the evening, and my mother, when a cow comes from the herd, milks a cow and cooks milk grout for dinner or cooks dumplings with cottage cheese, while my father manages the cow, pigs, chickens, we will already steal out into the street to walk. Moms we were not afraid, she was affectionate, sweet, and my father is strict, maybe give a whip.Mom says, it used to be, go for a walk, you still have ahead, but watch that your father did not see, but watch that it was not like with Gurdjieva Thekla, this girl did not go outside, but gave birth to a child, so that it did not turn out like this.One fine evening, we girls gathered, as usual, near Pylypasheva Klava, there were shops near her front garden, and we always gathered there, a lot of girls and boys, an accordion played, and we danced gopak, a lady, a crayfish, a pole, an apple. One night, we sang hard, the moon goes out, we grab our throats. Look, there's a clap from Dacha Kalino-Popasna.We encourage each other, come on, girls, let's sing songs, the claps are coming, and, look, between them there is a sailor for a visit, Nikonov Fedya came on vacation, and we argued, next to whom he will sit, which girl he likes more. Marusya says he will sit next to me, and Lenka says Golynin, next to me, argue, and Klava says, next to me, in general, we argue and guess which of us he will like the girl.They came up, congratulated, and the harmonist sat down on the bench and let's play the lady on the move. And here we go. This sailor, as they met - "My name is Fedya" - pushed the girls on the bench next to me, word for word, and he ordered a lady, and then an apple. When I went to dance, and the girls pinch me – you are a parasite – they whisper, took the sailor.And then I ordered a gopak, and the sailor supported me, took my hand, and after the dance we sat down with him on the bench, and the evening was not over, he offered me a walk, and we went to walk, then came to my yard and sat down on the porch. It's lighting, and we're sitting. The father went out into the yard and said: Some girl, smaller or older, has been walking for so long, but go to the hut, enough! But we have a short night, at least one more. When Fedei and I broke up, he went home.Dad says Verka's been sleeping for a long time, and you've been out for so long. I went to the house, I fell so in love with this Fedu, I couldn't sleep. And my mother cooked curd dumplings for dinner from the evening and put them on tile so that they were warm as we come from the street. I climb on the Russian stove, where Vera slept, and my mother says, eat, Zhenya, dumplings, and I tell her where to eat, oh, my God. What's wrong with you, Zhenya? - I'm so in love with a sailor. - Who is he?- Mom's asking. I told her, yes, from Dachi Nikonov Fedya. Oh, these people are good, rich! She still gave me the heat, I did not sleep until the morning and all day walked like a stray, doing some chores, my mother will send me a job and I will not have a job. Fedya walked every other day until his vacation ended, and on the penultimate day in the evening he came to our front garden, stands at the hut, waiting for me. I got dressed, went out, walked for a long time, until midnight, and then he took my chest, leaned against me and kissed me.I pushed him away from me and walked away from him. He asked me: What are you, Zhenya? I didn't say anything to him, I'm going to the house. - I don't want to date you. - Why? - You think I'm a whore? No, don't think! - and went to the house. Almost crying, I climbed on the stove and pushed my older sister, Vera: I am going to have a child. "Oh, come on!" she says.- Who are you with? - Yes, with this Fedei, he disgusted me so much that I could not say goodbye to him, he took me by the breast, and now I will have a child like Gurdjieva Thekla, what will I do? Vera listened and said: “Oh, you ram, you go out into the street, and even with the claps you stand until the morning, and you do not know what happens after a child!” Well, she explained everything to me in detail, and I calmed down. Still, if you don't bring Fedu back, he's already gone to serve in the Army today.He sent me a letter, but I did not answer him, but Vera, my sister, answered. What she said to him, I don't know, the love with Fedei burned out, and the ashes cooled. I go with my neighbor, Misha Mazko, he had a brother Grisha, and both were in love with me. When I go with Misha, Grisha will come and disperse to their homes – let’s go, Zhenya, let’s go, I like you. I answer him - and I don't love you, I love Bear - will still stuff him and me and push me and Bear into the hut.I see it will not work, I take my things and came to Pervomaysk, entered the dining room to work in 1931, there was hunger, but I did not see hunger. Grishka Mazko came, but I almost warmed him up - why are you driving for 18 km, there did not give rest, at home, in Novozvanovka, and even came to May Day? Don't let me see you! I walk alone, and there was a miner, Yasha Akhatyuk, who started flirting - come on, beauty in a red beret, walk - you are alone and I am alone, come on?I began to walk with this Yasha, he wore roasts to me, earned well in the mine, but how can I see - he is shorter than me - I do not like short men! - Yasha. I don't want to go with you. "Why?" he was so surprised. I make good money, get married and live. - Why do I need your money? - I didn't go with him. Began to walk with Gavryusha Kiselev, this boy earned 450 rubles with that money, at that time everything was for thousands.Well, hell with him, but tall, handsome, black. Walked and walked, he proposed to me, I agreed, and here is my work partner Dusia. The two of us worked as waitresses, she served the workers in dirty dressings, and I was in a clean room, where firefighters usually went to dinner at 6:00 p.m., and my firefighter Gavryusha and my partner are not at work (she came in advance, took snacks and got away).She's gone, and I'm like a stunner, running to two halls serving and asked his comrades why I didn't come to Gavrush's dinner. They all smile and do not speak, but Kolya Bugaev, his friend, said: "Jenya, I will go to see you off." I said, "In honor of what?" You know I'm walking with Gavrusha. - He won't be here today. "Why?" - I'll tell you. Usually the dining room closes at 11 p.m., managed and leave the dining room number 120, on Volkova Street was.Kolya Bugaev stands, I approached him and we went, and he tells me: Soul took your Gavryusha, before reaching the store hanged herself around his neck and said - I love you, I cannot live without you, I do not sleep, I do not eat - you stand in front of your eyes, and do not let him away - come to me, I brought snacks from the dining room, and eat, go - pulls, kisses, does not hesitate us, comrades who went from duty to dinner with him. I didn't say anything to Kohla.That's why they didn't have dinner. “Jenya, let’s meet!” says Kolya. "Wait a minute!" I told him.
On the second day I come to work, Dusia comes out, does not look at me, does not lift my eyes, I seem to know nothing. What am I gonna do to her? What is he to me, husband? Although I love him, I didn’t show him the look, at six o’clock in the evening everyone is coming, and my Gavryusha is walking, smiling, I’m being modest, I put up plates, first, second, bread and went on, continue to work. In the evening, he came to see me home and began to justify himself, told me everything in detail, in order.Well, I asked him, in the evening you could come home to see me off, because it's 11 o'clock, I'm scared to go alone at midnight. She refused to let me in, untied two dogs and said, ‘Go, let the dogs tear you apart.’ - And Zhenya? I have to walk her home from work. “Fuck her, your Zhenya,” she says, “well, I stayed until morning, spent the whole night with her, that’s all, I confessed myself, no matter what people told you.” I want you to forgive me.I forgave him because I loved him.
Firefighters continue to go out for dinner, breakfast, lunch, I look at this Bugaev Kolya, I ask why you, Kolya, have lost so much weight. And he says to me, I love you, I can neither sleep nor eat, here you stand before my eyes, your red beret, your curly hair does not give me peace. I told him, forget about me, I love Piglet, even though he tripped, to hell with him, that's all.
The dining room staff were going to bathe in the bath of the Menzhinsky mine, and I went with them, ran into the toilet, which was standing in the courtyard, and then got lost in the door – I first came to the bath in the mine. I walked into the first door and got into the men's room, there's a guy naked, I got embarrassed and closed the door and thought.After all, Vera told me that a woman and a man will touch, and then there will be a child, and is it possible to touch such – after all, a woman’s gap is narrow, well I thought about it, I don’t believe myself, I found my women’s bath and I think everything, Vera probably lies, and I am ashamed to talk to girls and keep silent. How so, Gavryushu love, I am going to marry him, well, I was not, what will be, what will be, and I love him.
Gavryush made me an offer, I agreed, we are getting married in my Novozvanovka, there is a wedding, people are having fun, who has drunk how many – who has three drinks, who has four – are hung up, two harmonicas play, one for the old and the other for the young. Someone turned off the lights, and then there were kerosene lamps in 1933, in December, the lights went out, until the matches were found, while they lit up, and they continue to dance, sing. People what?To have fun at a wedding, then not a wedding without fun, we walked well, the festivities ended, and we went to the neighbor Stupakova Aksyutka to sleep. They lie down, and the groom is not fit for a woman. Well, I made sure that that's what it is, a man touching a woman to have a baby, even though we didn't. We came home, to his village Kashtanovka, to his relatives, lived with them, and then eventually moved to Pervomaya and asked for an apartment.He was given a firefighter in the first building in Alberta, in this building lived only firemen and guards, and we were given an apartment for two families: a kitchen, we are in the hall, and Karp Ganja in the bedroom. We love each other, but we live like brother and sister, he kisses me, forgives me and immediately cries, and I love him, and we both cry. He says to me: You, Zhenya, go to your mother and tell her that we live like brother and sister.I tell him – I am ashamed to say this, we will live like this, and he answers me that people do not live like this, he has already been with women, knows that they do not live like this, and I understood, but where to take him, if not, it does not work. I went to my mother’s house in Novozvanovka and began to tell my mother, just reminded and fell silent, and came to no avail. We live seven months, and that's it. He's sending me back to my mom, so I went back.I began to talk, and I can’t tell, but this time I was able to muster up the courage and say, although it was a shame to say, because he scolded me: what kind of daughter you are, you go to your mother and are afraid to talk about your life as a daughter. I was just starting to talk, and she guessed it and said, 'You live like brother and sister, right? I said yes. - Why are you silent? - She says. I understood everything when you came, but it was too late, you went home.Mother immediately went to her neighbor, Damascina Efrosinje, talked, and she said to her: Maria Korneevna, in Popasna there is a grandmother Goroshikha, who treats all sorts of conspiracies. My mother went to Popasna on foot seven kilometers, found this Pea, talked to her, she said, let your children come to me in the clothes that were at the wedding. My mother informed us, and the three of us went to the Pea in Popasna the next day.When we entered the room, greeted her, she splashed with her hands: Oh, you are my flowers luxurious, but who mocked you? Looked at me, felt me, and then Gavryusha - take off the cartridge, and the cartridge under the buckle is screwed with wire from the guitar, shows: this is what, my children, you, young boy, done to make you crazy, and it affected the penis.Gavryusha began to cry, she began to persuade - don't cry, son, everything will be fine, and she gave us a drink, and then she gave something to wear. I made belts and sewed it into my belts, I can’t tell you – something wrapped in oil paper, so we went home to May Day and began to live as expected, I gave birth to a son Vitya, and then Tolya. So I found out where people come from. They won’t believe it now, but it’s true.

After the war, I worked in Burtsekh, from the guard stood on the gate, on duty, met my childhood friend, but immediately did not guess. He came up to me and said, in 1966, where are you from? I said, they say, from Novozvanovka. - Who were your neighbors? The Damascene was on the right and the Smear on the left. - Who do you know from the Mazkins? There were three brothers: Vasily, Grigory and Mishka. - Here I am, Misha. I'm right there.I recognized him by the tooth - he had a tooth crooked on the right side, then he laughed: - And remember how our Gregory did not let us meet? - I remember, I said. - And then you went to Maidan, but I was still thinking about you, and when I found Gavryusha and married him, and you came to your mother, and your mother sent you ashore to water cabbage, tomatoes, peppers, I watched you, I myself go to water the gardens, and the gardens are nearby; Gabriel's husband hugs and kisses you under the willow, and I stand and cry.I loved you, I couldn't sleep at night, I cried in my pillow. - Yes, - I said - that's what you arranged for me at the wedding. He confessed that it was our mother who did to you so that you would not marry a stranger, she wanted you to separate from Gavryushka and marry me or Grisha. - But I was already married? - So what, we loved you anyway. What would you do if I married you? Fighting?- Here I came from the War with the rank of major, did not marry for a long time, until 1946, and then decided to marry my telegraph operator, went and brought me, I have two children, I live in Popasna, I bought my house, I work in the bus park, here I came to Burtsech. I say I'm standing here at the gate for security. I compared youth, consider childhood, now do not know, matured, slim, medium fat, black, beautiful. - I would never recognize you.- And I recognized you, but I doubted, so I asked how beautiful you were, and now you're ugly, eyes swollen, wrinkles on your face. - What do you equal - so much to experience! That was 1930 and that was 1966. Here I happened to go to Mironivka and, passing through Novozvanovka, stopped to buy honey, and the residents told me that Misha Mazka died. I still had hope to see him someday, because it was a childhood, to talk, to see him, but that's all. Gone forever.
When I was young, I was already married to Gabriel and went pregnant second, he was given a vacation home from the fire station as an honored commander. Gabriel said at the production that look, take my wife to the hospital if you have to. “Good,” said the head of the fire brigade, Dunaev Mikhail Andreevich. He drove, and five days later I felt the ends, I got sick in my side, and my lower back got sick.I dressed quietly, tied my handkerchiefs under my eyes, put on his shroud and went to the maternity hospital myself so that people would know less. Without waiting for the car, she came, I was put in order, and I gave birth on the morning of June 22 to a thousand nine hundred and forty-first year son Tolu at five in the morning. I remember when they brought me to the ward from the birthing table, put me in bed, I see the nurses crying, and I don't immediately understand what the matter is, what their grief is.At seven o'clock, there's a shift, everyone's crying, and they don't tell me. I ask, why is everyone crying? They don't tell me, but next to the bed, the mother-in-law said War.
Germany attacked the Soviet Union, what should I do, and even this is bosom, I began to be scared, frozen, I cry, worry, my God, what should I do, what will happen? I've been covered with two blankets, and I'm still scared where my husband Gabriel is.And in the evening he comes to the window from the side where the restroom, no one sees, I slowly got up, walked to the window and saw my beloved husband, handsome, he was young, slim, black-haired, straight nose, always smiled, my dear, how good it is that you came, I am going crazy, here I gave birth, and here you are not, and here the war, I was told.Yes, dear Rose, War, I arrived at night as I heard, well, don't worry about what will happen, what will happen, but now we have two children, and both sons, and then the whole world was worried. A week later, he picked me up from the maternity hospital, and a week later they took him away, sent him with cars to Saratov, evacuated me, as I wrote earlier.He took me to the wrong apartment where we lived, that apartment was old, the roof was leaking, everything in the room after the rain was splattered - the sofa, the table, the bed, the walls, the water ran in the creek, and when he arrived from the holiday home, he entered the room, looked and immediately went to the head of the fire brigade and asked him to enter the bedroom. Moved off the street. Flights to the street. The New World.Gabriel brought me things from home, my beautiful dress, pink, rose-colored, model shoes with a rose and stockings for the color of shoes. I was 25 years old at the time, riding on a line, the yard was warm, the sun was so good, the weather was so good, the horse was brown, all the neighbors were jealous, but not for long. Although our men were not taken immediately, Dunaev Mikhail Andreevich, the head of the fire brigade, was taken earlier, and my Kiselev later.My husband took me to Novozvanivka, where my torment began – she buried my mother and father in such horror.
In 1942 she came from the front line, as I have already written, one skin and bones, and her husband Gabriel asks for a divorce, they say, is fighting. My husband gave up, I don’t eat anything, I declared a hunger strike, but I cry. Sister Vera says do something to keep her alive, or you will leave me children. I accidentally got to Varka Vasilyeva's apartment, and she had our soldiers, the Red Army.I stayed to sit with the people, invited me to the table, and they sing and dance with the soldiers, and the women were there, everyone was having fun. And when they raised the glasses, I remembered my beloved husband and I think where I went and why do I have these parties, and how will I pay back! They all paid attention to me. Come on, Zhenya, we live, they say, one day. I don't think I've ever been in a company like this before, but I have to get my head up to eat.No one invites me, I'm so ugly, skinny, and everyone disgusts me, depraved company, but still, when I got home, I got an appetite. I put it another way: I keep a cow, make sour cream, brew moonshine, ask women when you're going to get ready, and go where there are people.And I began to gain strength, I keep a cow, I feed the children, and there was no one to expect, my husband married, so I had to do something to start life again and save myself at least for the children. If you die, nobody wants you, and if you laugh, there's a lot of talk, and you need to talk to hell.

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Evgenia Grigorievna Kiselyova did not live only a few months before this publication and very little before the news that her memories were accepted by the magazine “New World”. Here she, as always, was lucky, and unlucky.
She was a passionate person, did not like to listen to her literary talent, and of all the arts she considered cinema the most important. She dreamed of seeing her life on the screen, in artistic performance. During the fourteen years of our correspondence acquaintance, the memoirs of Yevgenia Kiselyova were read with enthusiasm by many directors and screenwriters, all of them promised to write a few lines in support of her, but no one ever did it. Did Yevgeny Grigorievna believe my letters?It was difficult to explain to this woman why her life and our official art were incompatible. It is even more difficult to see in a sick, semi-literate old woman a writer endowed with all the torments of creative self-love. Sometimes she was offended and fell silent for a long time. How many times have I been scared if she's alive? And even death at first took for another offense.
All education E.G. Kiselyova – five classes in the Ukrainian rural school. Her manuscripts are written “from hearing” and only in the same way are sometimes deciphered. There are unfamiliar words, the meaning of which, however, can be guessed - "spook", "calyuzha", they are left unchanged. It was also important to preserve the system of values reflected in the spelling, which characterizes not so much the author as the life around him.“God,” for example, exists in this system, but with a lowercase letter, but “Televisor” is often written with a capital letter.
This publication included only part of the written by Evgenia Kiselyova. The difficulty, first of all, is in the authenticity of faces, addresses, in the epic truthfulness of the story. Replacing names with fictitious ones would deprive the text of essential quality. I have discussed this issue with the author many times, and we have come to the conclusion that the time has not yet come for a fuller publication of her memoirs.From the second notebook diary, which turned out to be artistically completed with a drama in the genre of family chronicles, only memories of the author’s rural youth and a story about the wedding are taken. All the manuscripts of Yevgenia Kiselyova were transferred by me to the All-Union Documentation Center “People’s Archives”.
The publication and afterword of Elena Olshanskaya.
  
   

Second notebook

I will be 63 years old in November 1, 1979. It's a shame that my daughter-in-law doesn't want to understand that my nerves have just fallen into place. Or because I  She wasn't her own mother, she wanted to argue with me, so I got pressure. What an injustice to listen to, I have the right of their grandchildren to force something to do in my house, because I Yuru grandson nursed up to six years out of a mitten. Well, let Vitaly I did not babysit, but anyway, when I worked, I bought gifts for him, and pants, and costumes, and everything that my eyes saw, gave Vitaly for a watch, he is already 14 years old, born in 1966. February.Yuri also bought everything from small to large, here before the wedding she bought shoes, gave 35 rubles, and for the wedding she bought a hand watch, gave 40 rubles, gilded. And in childhood I can not count how much I bought them, and how to ask what to do, Grandma Zhenya is not needed. Yura got married in 1978, there was a wedding on August 12, and does not come in, only when he needs money. Grandma's coming to see you, give me a scar or a triplet.Grandma Zhenya gives the last, and how to chop wood to Grandma, then immediately complain to Masha, so I cut firewood to Grandma Zhenya, and my mother goes and says, “Why did I make wood cut?” And then Vitalik's granddaughters came,  complains that Zhenya's grandmother made her bring a bucket of coal into the room, and she goes with a reprimand to Comne, and my nerves are not fine, like I am.  I wrote first. Who knows what I did to myself, but I abstain and immediately get sick – the pressure rises. Here in September 1979, I was in the hospital for 8 days in therapy - I got treatment, an ambulance picked me up on the road, my nose bleeded, bleeding so much that even my sister from the ambulance could not stop, they took me to the hospital. Bleeding is a stream from the nose, but they say that it is good that blood went through the nose, but bad that the house could not stop.I can still hear it in the back of my head.  Ants climb. I think when there is no daughter, no one to tell your grief, it is a shame that no one knows your patience, rely on yourself. Here I have a sister Nyusya, ten years older than me, I care for her, miss her and want to see her. She lives close to me when she comes, at least she leaves.  Home, unbearable hassle from her. She has been sick all her life and doesn’t know what to do in old age. She had her chest cut off and was cut off from one lung half. Where to go? And as long as I sit, so much will come on my soul - what should I do, she says, how to live. They do not wear legs, and nerves make them walk, and here comes, comes, and make them sit down, offended.She resents that she did not meet, she will swear, they say, you do not pay attention to me, and here at least someone put on the bed, I am so tired that I barely get to bed. She was used to being greeted, smiled, led under her arms, gave everything pretty, all the first, high-quality.She has servants all her life, and when she was young, Timofei Martynovich's husband was, he loved her, and even took into account that she was sick with tuberculosis - she was sick in her youth, he took her sick woman to marry - so her adjutants washed the floors, and also went to the market for food and for the necessary goods, this is how she was a cohanal, loving wife, so she was used to being cared for and were nannies, and now she was old and left alone. Everything in the room needs to be done by myself, my husband died in 1942, my sister Vera and I smeared everything in the room, washed everything, and now we are old, sick, and she is nervous and angry and rattles my nerves and Vera. She's 72 now, and she told me, You want to turn me into a nursing home, and we haven't even talked about it. But she said she made it up and wanted to know our opinion. So angry, tuned, and tears in her eyes, but she has already learned all about this nursing home that they feed on 3 rubles, which is not very good there. She's almost crazy. Where to go from the apartment, what do I have? She is stingy, these people are childless, all greedy to the impossible. The capron cork fell from the bottle, rolled under the sofa, so she pushed the sofa, she was weak herself, and until she found the cork, she did not calm down and cries, and mat covers. Impossible.I worked as an accountant recently in ORS, literate, all the chiatet - books, newspapers, novels-newspapers, reads all night, sleeps, and then suffers from insomnia and walks sick all day and angry like a panther, and everything accuses me. Most of all, I communicate with her, she is angry and drives me away, and everything will talk about her illness, and everyone will listen to her. And it is already tired of listening to the same thing, and if you do not talk, it says that you do not need me, you do not pay attention to me.He will go to Vera, and she says how uncurious you are, that is why you and Nicholas (son Verin) quarreled? She will never be silent, she will get into any conversation, and she is not needed there, so we quarreled. Then Nicholas and she cry. Woe to you. Here she is Verina’s goddaughter Ali, she has two children, a daughter and a son. She is so offended that she does not come when she comes from Voroshilovgrad to her mother, rarely congratulates her on holidays or on her birthday. Lying down, more. Why are you lying there?- Alla did not wish me a happy birthday, just like a child. I buy something out of rags, I buy it for her, so you never please her, always not like that. Because of this purchase, it is more than  Not like that. I didn't buy her anything. Whether old age or greed I carried her a piece of chicken and went to check, sat down and began to go home, and she says: "Here, put my letter in the box." I went home, on the way I wanted to throw in a box, and he was near the dormitory nailed, and there everything is dug up, there is a sewer construction, and the road to the box was covered with earth.I don't think I'm going to throw it in that box, because it's going to be here for a long time, until the ground is thrown away, and I'm going to the store tomorrow for bread and food. I came home, just sat down, turned on the TV, then the door opens, Anna comes in and so boldly looks at my purse – I immediately guessed what brought it. The legs are plump, with a stick, and points to the pocket of the purse - ah, you did not abandon my letter, I knew that you would not throw.I said, calm down, Anna, told her everything, she did not calm down, took that letter written to her friend, and I threw it myself. - So it's night out? “Nothing, I have it for two weeks at home, and will also lie with you,” she took, carried, to throw in the drawer in the evening someone, here is a man of panty, nauseous.

On September 5, 1979, my great-granddaughter was born, she was named Julia. I, as it is supposed to go on a newborn baby to see, stabbed the rooster, cooked, took two cavunas of low-salt and went to see. It was September 23, when I was brought in from the hospital, I was in the hospital with a nosebleed from September 10 to 18, 1979. I'm under pressure, I can't be upset. The grandson of Yura came, so he upset me, almost fell.I had to tell him that you were a fool, I told him that your boss, Makeda, said that you drink at work, and he would kick you out of work for drunkenness. After all, your queue is suitable for the apartment, and it will not, and you will be deprived of the bonus, you need to listen to your boss, bosses love when they are honored and obeyed, and you will go against, soon you will get under reduction, he will do so that you do not notice where the grief will come from, and without work this is a great grief.And he says to me, "Grandma Zhenya, what do you understand, just let him take off from work, I'm going to do it."  I'll put it in the paper.  "Labor." - You stupid boy! Who are you? What do you mind? He doesn't like alcoholics at work, and he'll kick you out like a dog, and you'll write to the newspaper! - We signed the entire shop, they say, wrote to the chief Makeda, and I also signed. - That's what, dear granddaughter, Makeda is the head of the shop, he is responsible for his shop. They say he sells oxygen, coals and all that, well, let him sell, he is responsible for it, you think, you found yourself, a sucker, telling him.Shut up, Grandma, or I'll start telling you, you'll be sick of him. - I babysitted you and pulled you out of the mitten, as the proverb says, and you took me 200 grams of candy from the first paycheck? And now I'm sick? You bastard, that's who you are, not a grandson, will be kicked out of work, and Anya's wife can kick you out, see that you are an alcoholic, that's when you think about what to do, run and find where your grandmother Zhenya lives.But I'm not going to beg anyone, even though I worked with Makeda I.S. for 13 years in the same yard, do what you want! We had a great fight, I don't think and hello tell him. I started pounding in my chest, barely came home, poured tears. I waited for help. So take your grandson to the apartment, so he will exhaust all the nerves that epilepsy will return.And what to do with the alcoholic, fighting with the whole family, me and my son, his father Victor, and Maria mother, and father-in-law Fedor, and mother-in-law Katya, and wife Anya, and he dissuades from everyone, my grandson disappeared from vodka, and what to do? At least he was taken into the army, because he is already 20 years old, and in the army everything is postponed, or blind – short-sighted, or that with lungs. Fighting with me. Here in the fall they gave money for potatoes, there is an organization for workers, so he accuses the accountant that she did not tell him personally.But the workers one from the other learn and give money for potatoes, so he learns who the ruble pass on vodka, fold and pour the throats. I said, why are you watching? And then you are offended by the accountant, and after all, she did not collect money, but in a local place, and he has nothing to cover, he thinks, old woman Zhenya, does not understand anything. I graduated from 10 classes, I am literate. He has been smoking since grade 7.And already a man, married, or I did not think that the wind blows in my head, and vodka pulls up a cliff. These young people,  The spoiled people and the elders do not want to listen, and the old people even more.

My grandchildren Yura and Vitaly rarely go to me, and even more so to my sisters. They are brought to them by their grandmothers, they go to Anna at least by order, and they do not go to the woman Vera at all - and do not know where she lives. I'm not even with her.  “I’m born,” I don’t think she’s a sister, I gave her up, she’s such a sister. In our family there was no such thing that with a son-in-law or with a relative met, it is meanness, abomination, who does it, and she was jealous of me to Alexander Grigorievich, my husband, and I do not know anything and do not want to know. There were no attempts or, rather, hints, it is stupid, and I would tear my eyes out if he had thought of something.But no, I'm as clean as a testicle in front of her and in front of them. I don’t even want to have a conversation, she probably measures on her own, but I’m not as rude as she thinks, she’s all my life jealous of my husband, everything on my nerves plays, which are upset beyond nowhere, to seizures.But she does not feel sorry for me, soulless, she was jealous of my mother, in her youth, and in childhood she said everything - you are more beautiful than me, you have beautiful natural curly hair, but you are fuller than me - and really, I developed faster than her in childhood, was full, busty, ruddy, looked better, and she was thin, tentacle, lanky, she beat me, pinched me, mocked me, and when I grew up, I gave her back.And so we grew up, the clappers began to look at me more, and her psycho took, she is 3 years older than me. I got married first, there was still Annushka elder, but she from the age of 16 fell ill with pulmonary tuberculosis, and Vera was in no hurry to get married, I don't know why, or thinness pushed away the guys, or over the claps, and there was nothing to look at, an unattractive girl, and even with a character, and then I brought them to marry, soon after me and they came out.I did a wedding, and Nusa and Vera did not do a wedding, the year was hungry, I worked as a girl in 1932 in the dining room, Vera also worked in the dining room, and Anna worked in the office of Ferbaltsevo at the factory ..., well, I at the wedding made grief, made so that my husband did not become a man from the first of our wedding night.We live like brother and sister, the healers arranged it, good neighbors, although they are already dead, the devil took them away, bad spirit, and now it’s 1979, I remember and write this manuscript, finding out what is now, how life goes. It goes in 1979, walking on the back, and life to live - not the field to cross, who as forever destined. Here is Vera, she has not worked all her life, only in her youth she worked as a girl, but in the war a little.And so she sits at home, her husband came from the war, and she tried to go to work, but he did not let her go to production, so she sits and sharpens her lies, she did not earn her pension, and even speaks nonsense to me, her own sister. When I get upset and hear people cloak, then I have a headache, pressure rises, well, how not hurtful to hear from my sister what a viper she is, a real cobra, as you can call her sister, do not count her until death, no words to express, can not.Tol's son came on vacation in 1979, in August, so she hung locks in the kitchen and apartment, and she looked out of the barn while Tolja stood and stood and left, to say that there was no home. She is sick, she does not leave the house, but simply did not want to receive him as a guest, and also the godmother is considered according to Alexander Grigorievich. But he wasn't home, he was fishing, earning fish, and she's a cobra, not an aunt.Don't go, Tolia, my dear son, don't worry, if she's cursed, we'll be strangers with her. On August 27, 1979, he went home.  In the city of Murom, although he could still be, but Seryozh has to go to school on September 1, they were with me only 2 weeks, the day before leaving I told them a verse of life. Dear sons and daughters, listen carefully:

“A tearful cough sounds at night,

The old woman is down.

Many years in our apartment

The woman lived alone.

The letters were very rare.

And then she didn't notice us.

She kept whispering, "Kids,

You should come to me for once!

Your mother bent, she got old,

What can I do, old age is coming.

How nice we'd be.

Near our desk.

You walked under this table.

They sang songs until dawn.

And now they're gone, they're gone.

And try to assemble you.

My mother got sick, and since that night.

The Telegraph kept knocking:

Children, urgently.

Come, your mother's sick.

From Odessa, Tallinn, Donetsk,

Putting things on hold,

The children gathered very late.

By the bed, not the table.

Stroking wrinkled hands.

Soft silver strand.

Why did you separate?

So, how long will you be between us?

Why only telegrams?

Were you taken to the fast trains?

Look, who's got moms,

Come to them without a talagram.

And he says, Dear Mother, this is all taken from life, you, mother, like a poet, only not very literate, you write with mistakes. - I, son, graduated from five classes, and studied in Ukrainian, and I did not study, my memory is bad, I did not study very well. Now I sit and watch TV, like Brezhnev L.I.in Germany with our embassy, and he is presented by Honnecker (in hand, Honnecker), the German leader of the country, the Order of the highest award of the German Democratic Republic, and also leaders of socialist countries have gathered. I look at them, all people as people, there is no difference between peoples, but I cannot look at the Germans indifferently, they are our enemies, and now they kiss our beloved defender of the world, L.I. Brezhnev, as if so good.Damned bastards, my wounds are revealed, although they are Communists, sitting on chairs in palaces, cultured, cheerful, dressed decently, and I still think they are in those green overcoats, in boots with horseshoes, from which their thud of footsteps still echoes, and their own sadness languishes the soul still, and everyone thinks that they will deceive us, as in 1941. They loaded our trains with bread for them, and they thanked us for the war, killed 29 million people.Stalin was gullible and merciful, everyone did not believe that Hitler was such an egoist of human existence, on the morning of June 22, 1941, at 4 a.m. he went to war on our beloved homeland. Damned bastards, our salom and our musalas. I hear on TV that Brezhnev will withdraw our troops from Germany and ammunition, well, if Carter wants to, then they raised such a question on the disarmament of hostilities. What you will do, it is necessary not to burn the whole world with an atomic bomb.In my opinion, it is bad that there are a lot of literate and  They especially invented this atom, and they strive, how to acquire a better one and go to war against each other, and why wars? Of course, using the atom for peaceful purposes is a good tool, and why destroy people? If only one leader of any country freaked out and pressed the button, and everyone, the whole world died, why would that be?

In the manuscript, these poems are written in a solid line.

I am against the atom, and the whole world, I think, against it, lived without it and would have lived 100 years. Today is Sunday, and such a day is sunny and good, all people are cheerful, they go smiling, or even laughing all over the street, it seems, as much fun at heart as ever, and what is, I do not know. Or such a day, all people go and say hello, as bored with loneliness. Sister Nyusya, before her death, reconciled me with her sister Vera, as she knew she would die.But I don't have a soul for her tongue, she's a liar, she'll never tell the truth, like she'll get a medal for lying. Died our sister Nyusya 17.H.1979, buried 18.H.79 Nyusya, Nyusya, what you have done, so much care, trouble, I can not even imagine writing, my nerves do not fall into place, so I am upset endlessly. Alenium and other drugs I drink for nerves, and nothing helps me.Grandson Yura with his wife and child, daughter, who was born on September 5, 1979, took my sister Nyusi apartment, but it is not registered in her apartment Krupskaya 9 sq. 6, and they are being chased every day, Maria Alexandrovna walks from the housing estate, vacate the apartment. Grandson says, Kishmareva A.G. – Our grandmother, and we will live here, even though the apartment is official, so we took care of her, for the patient and buried at our own expense.She was 72 years old, she had been sick since she was 19, the funeral cost a lot, and now drive out of the apartment with a small child. Such care, such grief, and I feel sorry for them, because I am my grandmother. He says to me, you, Grandma, don't worry, I'll take the attitude to the Executive Committee from work, and everything will be fine, now he manages the Executive Committee apartments. Because I'm in line at the factory.  The 3rd might be fine. We began to walk, and on November 2, Yuri needs to go to the army, and then the apartment does not go well, I went to Major, so he took Yuri's card, postponed until spring, settle with the apartment. I wanted to ask for help to settle, and here the turn from the gate, I come home, I say, so and so, I did business to go to serve, and now left until spring.They summon Yura to the prosecutor's office, he did not immediately go, there was a holiday, the day of the October Revolution, but today is Sunday 11.X1.79, but the working day, Yura went to work. Is it a year of a child, and they are thrown out with their family on the street, the whole soul is not at peace with me? I and Annushka F. wrote to Moscow Tereshkova V.V. a letter, perhaps not as it should, but as we managed, from Annushka, Yurina’s wife. We are waiting for a response from Moscow. We're thinking maybe it won't. We don't know, but we wait.On Sunday morning, I went to the market, bought a pig head for 40 days. Memories should be made for Nyusa's sister. And she went to her sister Vera, took her there, because they had agreed to make dinner at her house. And Vera said you bought the cold one early, take it home and cook it in half with your son Vitya, because you have a lot of one head. Faith has been lying in bed for a week, not rising, a lot of pressure.I with this pig's head rushed to her, then home and got sick myself, I got sick right kidney from severity, I can't work at least around the house, all I want to go to the hospital, but no strength, treated myself at home, brewed St. John's wort.  whisper, corn stigma, horsetail and a little immortal and drink more  "gled." I eat milk, chicken, stick to a diet, noodle soup, lie more in bed, only I will go bring bread and milk.

24.X1.1979 Nyusi celebrated 40 days, the dinner was made good, like a feast, there were 60 people, everyone thanked, it was deliciously cooked, there was a lot of water, of course, moonshine. A lot of food and vodka were supplied, although the moonshine was murky, but strong, and it was disgusting to drink, especially for women. Divided food and vodka, but also stole a whole cylinder of 3 liters. But I am not sorry, only hurt that they deceive me, look for fools, we are, they say, smart, and you are a fool.I haven’t said anything in public yet, and there are already lies going on that, they say, they didn’t share a pot of Nusin, they say, swearing in her apartment. We did not fight, we divided everything peacefully.  People said we put a dead woman in old shoes, but no, that's not true. The woman who was dressing the dead woman said, "Put out more tongues, you ask me, did I dress?" What I wore and put on her shoes, my legs swollen, I cut the new shoes in the front to fit my leg. - Klava, we thought... Oh, what did you think, throw out your tongues and open your eyes, okay? But thank you, this Clava shut everyone's mouths.That's exactly what she didn't have, everything was as old as herself. And it was not necessary to take anything, but thought to vacate the apartment to pass, and Yura decided to stay in this apartment, and her belongings have already been taken out. Of course, neither Vera nor I were when we were loading things from the apartment. Schifoniere was given to the man who gave the car, it is my kum, Svikolenko Vasily Kirillovich, and 3 rubles. begged his driver and 200 g drank and cheese snacked.For a long time, Yura's grandson stayed or not, but he lives in October, November, December in this apartment. Today, Saturday, December 1, 1979, I went to the market to buy lard, something I wanted, although I rarely eat it: when I eat lard, my blood pressure rises and my heart presses, it is difficult to breathe. But I wish I could. I bought and looked at what things, old dresses and the like, to sell the dead things old, and they are nothing.Now the time has come, there are no poor, there is no one to give up the old stuff, and there is nothing in the market, and it is pathetic to shoot. I went to Yura, he and his Anya were at home, well, I sat for a long time, I wanted to eat, but they did not guess to give my grandmother breakfast, they went to the kitchen, had breakfast, and I sit watching a morning movie on TV.  "Underground Regional Committee operates", a multi-part feature film. The 4th episode, the Kovno Knot, and did not even utter – grandmother, sit down, eat something, I hinted at how long you do not eat breakfast, and Yura said, they say, we had dinner late. I pulled out a piece of fat from my purse and gave Yura – on, take it to work. I thought with resentment, I pulled him out of the mitten, and he thinks I'm a stranger, let the woman go to hell, hurry home.I came home at 12 p.m., sat down for breakfast and wept bitterly. I have everything to eat and dress, I still feed myself, but I do not pay attention to my grandson Yura. And if you get sick and rot in bed, judge by your grandson Yura how inattentive he is to me.When they did the wake, dinner was served at Nyusi, I put him cold, herring, sausages, potatoes with meat, meat salad, vodka brought with Victor, let them eat with his wife, and they do not need me, I understood myself, not for a penny the price. I expect on Monday he has to go to the Executive Committee to hand over the documents, regarding the queue for the apartment from the production, where he works. Yura was supposed to carry this document that week, and he pulls all the rubber from 26.H.1979.My heart hurts if you say I'm a grandmother. He did not go to the prosecutor, he wants to disown himself, they say, there was no call, and indeed, the call must be handed over personally, on receipt. I said, what do you think? I'm slapping for you, and you won't even come, tell me what the D.A. did. He's a stupid kid, afraid to go. I didn't go, Grandma. I have to go find out for myself if he realizes that his grandmother is worried about him, is sick of heart, let the old fool run and find out for himself.But I do not know whether I will break myself and go or abstain from the Executive Committee to Chairman Ivan Stepanovich Afanasiev. True, 9.X1. already in the evening the grandson came, brought news from Tereshkova V.V. Protection of the peace of women showed that our request was sent to Voroshilovgrad from Moscow to investigate this matter. I guess. Should they send Tereshkova a resolution on the result to Moscow? And then tell us what they decided, not Tereshkov. You won't find protection from anyone.

I had dinner with potatoes and meat, I cooked, took the receiver and went home, and I was left alone, as usual, with thoughts for the whole night, and I pray to God that Yura and her family stay in the apartment, Lord, help us, sinners, and read Our Father.

19.HP.1979 I'm sick, coughing, I guess. Influenza, headache, I did not go to the hospital, I am treated at home. For two days I had no light, and I did not go to Victor’s son, but went to the LCD No. 2 for an electrician, but I was not given. I have been living in an apartment since the age of 52, I have never called an electrician, everything was done by myself - either tenants or Vitya. The police officer said that Kiselev Yu.V. time to get out of the apartment 18.HP, he was with the prosecutor and gave consent himself. Where?On the snow with a small child, well, they continue to live in the apartment. I said, where are you going to register it, in which shed? Take your things and unload them at the club and register them? They'll go to their parents. Well, check with me, do I have an apartment for scrapping, in the spring or when they will break? I don't know. - You know how to walk. - What about granddaughter Ani? The square does not allow, the family is large: father, mother, woman. Sasha, Vitya, Anya, Yura - that's how many souls in one apartment.They have a three-bedroom apartment, and a family of seven souls, they will not be registered there. Where to, in the snow? No, comrades, we lost six people, stayed on the battlefield, and now our grandchildren are thrown out into the snow. No, comrades, we are not a capitalist country, we must have conscious people.  You need to do what kind of leniency, if you raise such a question - arbitrarily. He's a Komsomol member, and he's a conscript. But here on the eve of the New Year, today 26.HP at Afanasyev I.S. session of chairmen of city executive committees, waiting for results from Tereshkova. There were elections at the session, and Afanasyev was left in the old place.

I went to Vera, I think we'll talk like sisters, all the secrets, all the secrets. It seems that there are no relatives of his blood, and secrets will remain between us. And so I came, sat down at the doorstep in my wing, and I sat there, and I nailed my purse in my arms. She begins to complain, there is no one to bring bread, but I have experienced her well in my lifetime. I'm telling you, your husband, your grandchildren, your son, your daughter-in-law almost live here, whenever you come, they're here with you, so you have no one to send for bread? Here comes Gena, her grandson.Genochka, go get some bread, here, and you say there is no one to bring bread. She poured him breakfast, had breakfast and went home. I opened the table to fold bread, and there are already ten loaves, however, they give bread to rabbits, chickens and pigeons. I'm sick, there's no one to call an ambulance. She stirred up, saying, what kind of husband is there, you had Tyurichev D.I., he carried bread well?I have a non-native husband Tyurichev, he is like a lover, he did not feel sorry for me, because I am not his own wife, and his children are not his relatives, so I would not have a carbun, you would see how they went to you b, and my grandchildren rarely go to me. My neighbors are calling for an ambulance. However, Vity’s son comes in and sometimes brings me bread, feels that he has a mother, he also works and does not have time to do things at home, his Maria is sick, and his son Vitaly does not listen to what his father tells him.Go to Grandma Zhenya, maybe she needs something to do or bring bread, she lives alone, and then her mother does not allow her not to get hurt. Cotton is fourteen years old, and I ask the neighbors to bring coal, because it is cold in the room, you need to drown, and you have a husband, and then you have him. And when he's gone, your grandchildren and your daughter-in-law will forget where you live. Okay? I experienced it when Dmitry Ivanovich was alive, everyone walked, the door did not close, and now grandmother Zhenya is not needed.We talked a lot, I went home. A week passed, I went again to see Sister Vera, but she apparently did not want me to go to her, again started talking about the TV, and then Genochka, her grandson, immediately sent him for bread, he went without fail, took four loaves, brought without a word and ran to chase pigeons in their yard. Her son Nikolai lives in four-story houses, all the time with her father and mother, and there is no one to bring her bread? Everything breaks like a dog, everything cries.I immediately started talking about TV about Nusin, why did she give Yura the TV? I tell her, you will stop talking about the TV, because you have already sold it to Nusa, and now you want to give you another Yura 40 rubles. What the hell do you want him for? You have a TV, and I have one, and you want to take the money a second time?And we started a scandal, let Yura will have a housewarming, why do you, on the devil of Jura I need, well, dear sister, so damn me your granddaughter Lyuda, I gave her a sewing machine, and you all the furnishings, or rather, furniture. Nyusya refused the car, what are you stepping on? And no one wanted to care for the patient, no one needed the hassle of Nusin! She didn't bother me, did she? So you're all on the sidelines, and I'm supposed to be in the furrow, right?Cobra you are real, do not look for fools, I understand everything, she is not needed, and you are slapping things and sick, you say, the pressure, probably due to stinginess, increased the pressure. Why do you need a chandelier? You'd better get a coffin and a chandelier, get out of here. It's called we start swearing over sister things, right? Ma divided things in a good way, and she thought everything was not enough. She started telling me that  You didn't come here anymore, so you kicked me out. I say what a grandmother you are Yure, you are a cobra, not a grandmother, you and Nyusi tore 40 rubles, and Alla gave so, gave as a godfather Cobra, a shameless pig. I gave Alla her new coat, and you took the old poles, the light suit, the macintosh. Her dresses and shoes fell both posh and old, because it does not fit on us, does not fit, do you need more?We then divided everything peacefully and like, I got a carpet and a down scarf, and a camping table, well, some dresses. What you shared, I took, and do not remind you where more, where less, and fine, and you got sick because you did not immerse you all. You didn't want to, she asks. Why, they say, the chiffonier gave Svekolenko V.K. for that. I gave up for letting the car take things to the apartments, and you and I have nowhere to put them, and let them.So he also has a Gypsy conscience, he asked his driver for 3 rubles and asked for 200 g to drink. Everyone's looking for fools, that's how. Strewn things, you bed, hold, table, nightstand, chairs, sofa, novel-newspapers, fifty pieces, newspapers 100 pcs. Vitya, my son, was loading, and what did he get? He does not stutter so that from the grandmother Nyusi got an inheritance, and you, like sheep, brought to the apartment, and even loaded directly into the room or in the corridor.Shurka also loaded, but she loaded herself, and Vitya to good relatives. True, the refrigerator was due to her, but Vitya mistakenly brought it to me, and I do not want it, take it, let your beloved grandson Genochka take a car and take it, there are no servants, canceled in 1917. Or I'll throw it in the trash, do it yourself, stop serving you. We are like you, human beings, not slaves, as you think.I took a carpet, you have one, and I do not, hung for 12 rubles., I took care of the patient until death, and she died on my shoulders. People reading this manuscript will determine who is to blame and who is right. Of course, people do not need it, and it is easy to judge someone else. But if I had smiled, I would have nothing to write, I think. I was smiling when I lived with Gavriil Kiselev for 9 years. Now it's just tears and sickness, not the same thing since 1941.You're only doing it to make you feel good, and the other person doesn't grow grass. Yes, even the chandelier was almost taken away, and I gave my grandson for a housewarming, the children only got married for a year, let the chandelier be for them, so she almost fought with Vitya. And her daughter-in-law, Shura, told her what she meant to you, because you are sixty-six years old, or you live two centuries as you are greedy. When Nyusya was alive, she told her how greedy you are, that when you die, we will dig a big hole and put all your wealth with you.That's what Vera said, and now she's such a stingy, miser. She said to me, "Don't come to me, I said, I haven't come to you in a year and I'll never come again."  I'll forget your two open. And then I got up and walked out of the room, and she must have come to her senses, escorted me out the door and begged: Will you come to me? When? Yes, on Sunday! What happens on Sunday? Come on, I need you. As you need me, you shake with jealousy, do not shake you, I am clean as a testicle in front of you, God is, let him punish me if I am dirty in front of you.I will never come to you, I do not count you for my sister, I will come when you die, I will come to bury, otherwise people will be ashamed if I do not come, and washed with tears and went, but we have a will for two from Sister Nyusi, I do not know how much money we owe, she has a savings book. I live alone in an apartment, and there is no rest, it's because I'm nervous. My apartment will be broken down, even on the street.Shevchenko will put storey houses, and everything I have in the yard – superstructures, showers, two bathrooms, a corridor, a kitchen, two sheds – give her, Vera, for firewood, and now let her take something from strangers, it will be easier for the liver, I do not want to know her.

Today, Friday, 28.HP.1979, she sent me a postcard sealed in an envelope. The postcard is beautiful and beautiful, but what does it say? Dear Sister Zhenya. How dear I am to her, just to take her eyes off. So I was in the hospital in 1975 and 1977 and 1978 and 1979. I was tormented by kidney stones, coming out. She did not deign to bring even a bottle of kefir or send it to the hospital, as her sister should.No, she's hoping, I say, I'll apologize to her, and the number will pass, no, I've saved up for life. Let her legs hurt, but they do not always hurt, and she has a husband and grandchildren, a daughter-in-law, a son, at least someone to send to the hospital. That’s what kind of sister I have, knows that I have no husband, I am a widow, live alone, and also writes – dear. A real cobra. That's why you tell me not to come to you, I remind you once again - I will forget how your door opens.There is a song composed by Taras Shevchenko: People grieve not to help, but to say ice-cold. So my grief is small, no one needs, not even his own blood.

I wrote to Tereshkova Valentina Vladimirovna, please help our grief. Here is a letter of this content: Our dear woman, defender of peace, women and children, our dear man, from grief and misfortune, I sent you a letter 11.H!.1979, but they sent us their decision to evict, judge, from the apartment, as I have already written to you. I write on behalf of Anna F. that I have a young child, born in 1979 on September 5. We are not registered in this apartment, Krupskaya 9, sq.6, our grandmother and my sister died on 17.H.1979, and we stayed in this apartment. We took care of the patient and buried her at our own expense, and the funeral cost a lot. I do not work, on maternity leave, because I have a small child, worked as a turner, my husband works as a welder of the Donetsk TsEM, a casing shop, we are 20 years old, we have nowhere to live, with a residence permit is very difficult, and we want to be registered in this apartment Krupskaya 9, square 6, and not disturbed by the court and the police.We are both Komsomol members, in difficult times in the country we will always be ahead. Standing in line for apartment 3, there is a relationship with production in the Executive Committee, please help. Kiseleva Anna Fedorovna, Kiselev Yuri Viktorovich.

But the attitude was sent back to Donetsk. As I found out, when I went to their house, Anya told me everything. What from Tereshkova Valentina Vladimirovna, for a long time did not show us, and the postcard was from Moscow and them. I have a heartache to find out, went to the Executive Committee by myself, everything at the conference, or the session was, there is no one. I go on the second day, ask where Tereshkova's answer is, go home, we'll send you home, and I have no sleep all night long. I went to Yura's this morning.- This evening, Grandma, me  I call the prosecutor, I go, I'm waiting for him to come. He agreed to 18.1 vacate the apartment. Well, what a fool that you sign everywhere and give consent to vacate the apartment, let me write more in the housing and communal services No. 2. Let's go ask for a start. LCD No. 2 Written Viktor Vasilyevich. My grandson is silent. I'm sick of it, Grandma, it's anxiety.Tears suffocate me, I pity him that he is still a child, but he wants to live like a real man, but the mind is childish, and fear takes him, and woe, having not lived in the world. I came home and remembered my youth, sitting, crying. In 1978, my husband Kiselev Gavriil Dmitrievich died in Ossetia. Although I have not lived with him since 1941, many years have passed, and when Vitya’s son said that our own father Gabriel had died, I felt sorry for him, remembered his youth and his first love and weighed up the life I lived.I lament how handsome and not bad he was, he loved me, and the war would have separated us forever, if not for the war, it would not have happened. In old age he became deaf, thin, suffered two stomach operations, which made him deaf, began to listen through the apparatus. He was buried by his second wife and daughter, his daughter has three children, works in the police in the North Set. So he started another family and got away from me forever.How insulting all this, although he was disturbed by alimony in his youth and, as I wrote before, was looking for, but he has three marriages, and all this is stupid, he transferred his life to himself and me. I still feel sorry for him all my life, he was a good family man and husband. Vitya visited him on vacation in Ossetia with his wife and his son Vitaly, they met him well. Lyuda’s daughter wrote and invited him to visit her and he visited almost all of them together, although his daughter lives separately, on another street.But when they poured the glasses of wine, he raised his glass and said, crazy, that we would drink to the fugitive father, well, son Vitya, we will not see each other again, I feel bad, I will soon die, and so it turned out. Vitya was with him in 1977 and he died in 1978. Gifted Vitaly grandson receivers, which he gave as a disabled military enlistment office, he recently worked at the military enlistment office, took conscripts into the army until he retired.And the kingdom of heaven shall be upon him.

I am writing a statement to the city executive committee Musenka, Afanasyev's deputy. And she went to ask Musenka Anatoly Fedorovich, and Yura this Friday was at work, as usual. He receives on Fridays, submits an application, he read, listened to me and says that Yura illegally occupied the apartment, that we can not register it, and if he does not leave himself, then we will evict in battle, there will be a sanction from the prosecutor. Yes, the sanction from the prosecutor is easiest to take and push out of the apartment, but you need to protect the worker, let him live.  I'm telling you, he didn't rip it off, he didn't take someone else's? He stayed in his grandmother’s room as he had been there and buried her. He says, I don't know, let him get out. Yes, you do not know now, and you know how to sue for eviction. How unconscious you are, you are a party member, and he is a Komsomol member, if he shakes up a little in the country, you will go together, fight in front. He came to consciousness, asked where he was, that he did not come by himself, but his grandmother came for him.I'm saying he's at work, it doesn't matter, but I've got to figure out if  Yura was at this time, here, I think, he would pick up the phone and call Written, the head of the LCD. I'm sitting, and he went to call the next one to him. I went to Yura's, I said. That I would go to him, I had him, he didn't want to talk. - Yura, you should ask him that you are so: become an artist and ask, oh, my God, Yura! “To hell with him, I don’t have enough strength,” says Yura, “he will be damned.”

Another new thing: you need to share with Vera the money that Nyusya's sister left in her will, well. Try to get them. I went to the post office asking how to get the money from my will. An employee of the savings bank tells me, give me a copy of the death of Anna Kishmareva, and where can I get it? At the funeral home. I went to my son, I said, Vitya, go to the funeral home, get a copy. We went there, they said, give us the keys to the apartment, then we will discharge it from the LCD. Well, what to do, and Yura lives in the apartment.Looking forward to yesterday, as the saying goes. No matter where you go, no matter where you write, everything is useless, and this is January 21, 81. Yura came to me to help him hire a car. They went to the SPU and hired Volgoprokiyko driver, on the lawn car, gave Yura 5 rubles. and said, agreed for 3 rubles, and two Yura rubles for milk. Okay, Yura? Kids for milk. That's what he did.I start courting, making a contribution, since there is a sanction from the prosecutor, then you can hand over your passport for discharge from this world to the next world. Vitya is tired of walking, he gave Nicholas, the faithful son, maybe you will write sometime. I kept it for a long time, I went to Nikolai, took my passport - sorry, Aunt Zhenya, I have no time for work. Come on. - I already checked out yesterday. So long, I laughed yesterday. - I've been here since night. Just give me a doctor's certificate and a passport.

I went to the Krupskaya stop and went to the funeral home, where, however, a good woman, friendly, immediately invited me to sit on a chair. There were other people, she wrote me a certificate second in turn, well, a lot of notebooks - four - all wrote down who knows what and asked him where he was buried, in what cemetery, how many classes she graduated, who she worked, was her husband, and who worked, how old she was, oh, my God, why is it when a man folded his hands?She made me sign four times and who buried her. My grandson buried it. What's his last name? Name of middle name? Kiselev Yuri Viktorovich. She gave me a death certificate and told me to take a copy of it and notarize it. Arrived home, has not gone anywhere, in the evening sat down, wrote a copy, barely removed, all the fineness must be written off, and the letters are small. I wrote it in my glasses. 22.1.80I went to the notary’s office, certified a copy of the death certificate, paid twenty kopecks and went to the security service, there was an unacceptable day, and you need a certificate from the place of residence where the deceased lived. I came home, went to the shoe factory, there is our local deputy Vojvodina Lida, gave me a certificate, there I took three chickens from the cafeteria and came home tired. I get up in the morning and go 23:11.On Wednesday in the security, took the line, was the sixth, went to our Commissioner, she forced me to take another document to make a copy, it is already to receive the funeral. I took a copy, went to sign with the chief security officer, handed over to the seventh room, said the girl, wait at home, they will send the funeral, and how many, I do not know. I came home, I had too much time, I went to write coal to the SKU. I go to the office and ask if I can get coal.You can, just give a certificate from the Deputy that you have heating. I don't have that certificate. The beginning of the new year should be a year certificate. I'm going back to the factory to see Lida Voevodina, and she says, Aunt Zhenya, that you've settled in with me for the second time today. I said, well, welcome, even smoking, and joked, and she works as a storekeeper in the dining room. During this time, she wrote me a certificate to the mine management, from where I retired.In the office, I managed immediately, Nadia wrote me Coal, paid for the transportation of Coal and calmed down, came home with pleasure on the heart. I also had too much time before the evening, I went to my son Vita, stayed and called Sister Vera to come to the post office at ten o'clock on Thursday, we should both be at the cash register. She answers me with dissatisfaction, it seems. There's something else she wants to finish me off, but I hung up, she's got a phone in her apartment.On Thursday I went before ten, at fifteen, waited and waited, and she was gone. I went to the entrance of the Krupskaya mine and called. Alexander Grigorievich picks up the phone, says she is sick, if the knee, we would hire and bring her to the post office, so she has the flu, the air is going to complication. Well, call my son Vita, my son has a phone in his apartment, and he'll tell me.And I'm waiting, it's 29.1 today, I'm not going to get off her, my eyes don't want to look at her. The scarf that bathed the deceased, put Alexander Grigorievich in his pocket. After a while I went to the Nushin barn, and in this handkerchief someone tied the ground from the cemetery and put it in the barn, and who, I don't know, I didn't have to, at least something, but stab me. There's no one to slap his face so he doesn't rattle like a dog.I write because this manuscript of my life flows freely from my soul. I remember that earlier, when we were children, adults already married gathered on a big holiday and on the new year, and so we go to our own father and mother or to our father-in-law with their father-in-law, and guests or help with work. I remember before the war I went to his family and smeared the house outside, she scolded me that I did not know how to smear, and then showed me.I listened to her attentively, well, it's not holy pots sculpting, see, and it turned out well, then praised. I was not offended, I never smeared my mother, but I already smeared her for the second time, and the first time we quarreled strongly. True, it was badly anointed, she took a brush, and how she gave it to the wall already anointed white, and she made of clay, which is brought downstairs, and says where the hell you grew up, that you do not know how to smear.I took Vitya in my arms and went to my mother, and it was to go to Popasna 7 km, and to Novozvanovka to go all Popasna 8 km, walked and cried and carried the child in my arms. I came home in the evening, and my mother says what happened, but here, with my mother-in-law quarreled, I do not know how to smear, so and so, but now what? I raise Vitya myself, and I cry myself. My mother thought, one daughter has already made money married. In the evening, they knock on the door late, my mother went to open it, because my husband came.I cried for joy. You left me, he asks. I am silent, but I am afraid that he did not leave, but where there to go him 15 km at night, took the pants of the child and put it to his face, and I myself cry either for joy that he came, or for resentment that my mother-in-law offended.We spent the night at my mother’s in Novozvanovka, and the next morning he took me home, but it is difficult to live with our mother, he says, no daughter-in-law can get along with her, let’s go with me to May Day, find an apartment and live there, closer will go to work, and he then worked in the fire station on Menzhinka, walked from Kashanovka 6 km to work. Hired a room and moved in. I washed her and polished her, when I go to her, I will do so that she had nothing to do on the second day.But there was always work in the village, there was everything for every day. I will go to my mother in Novozvanovka and find a job there, I try to help my mother, she is very happy with my arrival. I come, and my mother in the farm in the Poultry, I find the key to the apartment, open and start working. I melt the stove with firewood, put laundry water on the stove, make soup or borscht, smear the stove, lubricate the finish, this is land, before there were no floors, and the ground, it lubricates.While my mother comes for a break, I already have soup ready, and the underwear hangs on the rope, she goes, looks from afar and says to her partners - it was Zhenya who came, or rather, she called me Zorya, I was a child, and in my youth a ruddy, curly girl, so she called me Zorya. I remove the pillowcase clean from the rope, put it on, and my mother eats soup and a second something and goes to lunch to rest. Says, my daughter, I'm so glad you came.But when I go home, she's ready to give everything - please take what you need from the groceries. At the mine you need to buy everything, spend a penny, and then take it and cook, and eat flour, potatoes, onions, milk, sour cream, generally everything that she has. Sister Vera arrives, finds the key, and mother, as usual at work, enters the hut, goes to bed, in the room the summer time is cool, good. Mom is coming from work – who came to the house? Comes in, sleeps Vera, you, daughter?You'd cook something, I wouldn't have time to cook and feed you and eat yourself. Vera is dissatisfied here. Oh, my God, work at home and then you come and make him work. My mother is already worse with her daughter Vera, you need to start cooking, some time to rest, mother and Vera care more than with me.When she goes home, my mother still gives us an equal amount of food, because the children are still sorry, whatever they were, and Vera felt that my mother gave me more than she, and always quarreled with my mother, you are not my own mother. And to all the neighbors who lived near her in May Day, she told me, they say, my mother is not my own, but her own father, she lied everything.So now we are all old, although I do not have a husband, I want my relatives to gather with me and my children on big holidays and in general now or such a time, or I am old without a husband, so look.  I'm like a poor child support. Am I that old? It became such relatives, do not consider me a person that I am without a husband, but whatever husband was Dmitry Ivanovich Tyurichev, all went, and relatives and comrades. As they say, when there is a husband, weeds do not grow in the yard, everything is protection and attention to you. They did not gather to me, if there is a holiday, they will go somewhere to other relatives, but they do not go to me.True, I have a son Victor, a good man both as a son to his mother and as an assistant will always come and ask what you, mother, do. I always write down, so as not to forget that it is necessary to do him a man's job, and he does a woman's job - and he washes and helps to smear, and he made a fence for chickens, and he will fix the gate, he will apply water. Coal, potatoes from the cellar will get, apply firewood and even chop.He's smart, but I want to celebrate the holidays with me. New Year, birthday, Easter, Christmas. Eighth of March, first of May. All the big holidays were celebrated with me before, did not forget me, but now my relatives do not notice me. I sit within four walls and wait for death to come.

I sit here and remember how Vera and I took the children to our families. I am Vitya, he was three years old at the time, and Vera took Nikolai, who was four years old, you can imagine how much work in the Village, and we and our children forced our mother to do. In the evening, her mother picked a green onion, tied it in bundles and carried it to the bazaar, it is necessary to go seven kilometers and carried a bag of onions on the hump to bargain for money for matches, kerosene, salt (in 1938).Here are these devils, the children saw how grandmother cut onions, got up in the morning and tore all the onions, put them in a pile and went to Grandpa Grisha to say that, Grandpa, we had already picked onions to Grandma, let him bring them to the market for sale. As Grandpa looked, was horrified, oh, you devils, what have you done, we are now left for the whole year without onions, here he poked them, but well, you can't knock out the bow.My mother, my grandmother, came from the market, and went seven kilometers there, to Popasna, and from there seven kilometers, tired, then the buses did not go, but walked on foot in 1938, there is hilarious, and here children have done such grief. My mother cried, there was such poverty, we had five children, and my father and mother, and my father worked in the collective farm for a day's work, the stick was put in the office. God, how much hurt was for the family, but when I arrived, my mother told me, here, Zhenya, what your children have done.I feel sorry for you, my mommy. Well, I went home and took Vitya with me, bought her boots, the big black number, so that she, when she put on two stockings, would crush her legs.She kissed me: my daughter, I will now be wearing shoes in the cold, and in general we all went barefoot to the coldest at home, sometimes in childhood I would want to run to a friend, and there is nothing to wear, one chuni and one hufayka for the whole family of seven people, so I will run barefoot through the snow to her hut and there with a friend I will sit, this is how I lived in childhood. I remember that our relatives were built, I don’t remember in what year, I knew that my father said to my mother: Masha, we have 3 rubles.We did, so we'll do it. My father took a manor in Novozvanovka to be built from the village of Troitsky, Kartamish str., and now first they built a barn where we all slept, and built a hut, put up walls, did everything themselves, kneaded clay, from which they made saman, all dirty, and we wear clay on our bellies, my mother will put a roller of clay and carry it to the place, and small, and large as beetles pull, walls appeared, and then we need to make a ceiling.They could not do it themselves, they named people, baked pies with big cherries, cooked borscht, stewed potatoes with meat, and carried the cakes to the neighbor, Mazka Paraska, they already had a stove folded and the house was ready. This Paraska overhaled the cakes, and my mother began to serve cakes on the table, there were very few of them. So that's it? My mother was ashamed of herself that there were not enough cakes on the table and since then my mother did not become friends with Paraska, a bastard, and not a neighbor.Mom said all this at home, in public no sound, and how many lived, did not say hello until 1941, when the war began and she died, mother.

Vera gathered girls her age and made her a big school, went for melon, gathered everything in a big pile, and watermelons were shattered. All night long, Vera and her friends had to work to learn how to steal cakes at such an expensive time. Paraska figured out who did it to her with the melon. Verka, did you put that melon? I don't know, I wasn't there. She left pears and apple trees, as expected, not one on the branch.Froska quarreled with Verka and told Aunt Paraska everything; we cut off the apple tree and pear and baksha in a pile. We were there four: I. Nyurka, Verka, Maruska and also Thekla. Well, she took revenge on us all her life, as they say, don't buy a house, but buy a neighbor, it's the same thing. We had Vera like a cottoner, her father took her to the steppe, plowed, mowed, carried her. We had two bulls, Rozhko and Misko, harnessed and did everything on bulls. One, Mishko, is red-red and the other, Rozhko, is boulan.Brothers Vanya and Vitya were smaller than us, brother Vanya since 1919, and Vitya since 1924. I remember my father left my sister Vera at home to help my mother, and took me to the steppe, went to plow. He made me drive the bulls for cash, and he held the plow. Pahali, it seemed like everything was good, I was glad that I could work with my father, drive bulls.  At lunch they disposed of the bulls from the yoke, and said father, Zorya, chase, drink from the oxen. I grabbed a load and drove to a watering hole, and then I did business when they started drinking. The horn slipped and fell into that crevice. I ran to my father, and he went to rest, we called Father Bath. Dad, the bull fell into the crimson, Rozhko.What grief I did, he summoned everyone from the field of individualists (then the land was cultivated themselves, there were no kolkhozes), people began to drag from the krinitsa and slaughtered the bull, did not save, only Mishko remained. My father beat me, well, you can’t knock me out, they began to buckle the cow, not so long as they trained the cow, how much grief they took, there is land, but there is nothing to cultivate. Arrived or climbed home like one bull, my mother met, immediately in tears, we are all crying, merciful God, what I have done.I remember when I was still small, I was probably eleven years old, I loved sour cream, cream, and I knew that my mother put a jug of milk in the cellar to collect sour cream and knock down the oil, and I climb into the cellar, pour the tips into a large mug, there was a white liter, and get drunk. I loved sour cream a lot, and my mother tells my father that the cat probably eats the tips from the jugs, there is nothing to bring down the oil for filling the borscht. I'm silent.Here's the scumbag cat, and you, Mania (Mother called Manea), cover the jugs better. One time I just climbed into the cellar, poured a mug of cream and got drunk, drinking, and my father came to the cellar. A-a-a-a, that's what cat eats tops, and well, get out, so he gave me tops, beat what is called a whip, this is what cat did not give us oil to knock down and sat and ate unmade, and in the shops there was no butter, and there was nothing to take.I also remember my mother cooked noodles with chicken for dinner, she climbed onto a Russian stove, then there was a Russian stove. Dinner was late, there was no kerosene, dinner in the dark. My father was not there, he was with the neighbors, and we are children – Nyusya, Vera, Vanya, Vitya and I ate noodle soup, and then the chicken was taken out of the pot, put in a bowl. And break it yourself. Who breaks the leg, who the wing, who bites the head. I groped for all the chicken and took it under the table.I hold it with one hand and break it with the other and eat it with the other, and they say, ‘You haven’t eaten the chicken yet.’ And I ate, and then I pull it out from under the table, and the table was on four legs, and I said, "Eat, eat, finish, and I'm full." You bastard stole all the chicken and ate it. Let's beat me up, everyone beat out the chicken and said, "Oh, you're such a bastard." My mom was napping on the stove. What are you kids? And we beat Ghenka, she stole all the chicken and ate, and we just lick ourselves.Come on, Zorya, why did you do that? I like meat, that's the excuse.

On January 12, 1980, Yura himself unloaded from the apartment, not waiting to be sent again to throw away. They packed everything, packed everything, and prepared it on Monday 14.1. Yura came to me. Grandma Zhenya, let's go to the garage where you worked before retirement, hire a car, move things, we'll vacate this apartment.You know, on Saturday, six people came with nail-deckers and an axe to break down doors, came in like gendarmes, four handymen, a policeman with a domestic lawman, began to shout, and the child screamed even more, and then became good. Well, how to throw them out, they have a baby, and we were sent, because January is a month, frost, and everyone was sorry, even the policeman shrank with pity, well, what to do with you, and said that we will not throw you out today, release yourself when you get out?Well, Yura said, I'll vacate the apartment by Tuesday, of course, they're children themselves, got scared and started collecting knots. They transported things to her relatives, F. Omelyanchuks, they will have the eighth, well, let them live and wait for their turn at their production, and the keys to the housing and communal services were not taken principally to the chief Written V.V.

Vera, Anna knew that we are enemies, why she made a will for two, you recognized my weakness and keep a savings book at home, break out like a gingerbread in a dumpster, you delay everything, then come then, then come then, I'm a fool that gave everything to you as an elder, dispose of you, and you try to play on my nerves, let him run, you viper.How much I've been intercessing, all sorts of certificates that I don't have enough strength, and I don't sleep at night, I'm nervous that you're driving to choke on this money. Then the keys were held, and now you bloodthirsty viper. You won't give it to the state. We should have put her and me on the books without a will, and we would have got the money when anyone wanted, and without the fuss. Her last name and my last name. Hell with her, I'll wait. There's not enough money there for annual commemorations.

When I was young, I was already married to Gabriel and was pregnant second. Before giving birth, he was given a ticket to the rest house from the fire department.  As a distinguished commander. Gabriel said at the factory that, look, take my wife to the hospital if you have to. Well, said the head of the fire brigade Dunaev Mikhail Andreevich, he went, and five days later I felt the ends, fell ill in the side and fell ill lower back. I dressed quietly, tied my handkerchiefs under my eyes, put on his shroud and went to the maternity hospital myself so that people would know less.Without waiting for the car, she came, I was put in order, and I gave birth on the morning of June 22 to a thousand nine hundred and forty-first year son Tolu at five in the morning. I remember when they brought me to the ward from the delivery table, put me in bed, I see that the nurses are crying, I do not immediately understand what the matter is, what their grief is. At seven o'clock, there's a shift, everyone's crying, and they don't tell me. I ask, why is everyone crying? They don't tell me, but next to the bed, the mother-in-law said, "War."Germany attacked the Soviet Union, what should I do, and even this is breast-feeding, I began to get scared to freeze, I cry, free, my God, what should I do, what will happen. I've been covered with two blankets, and I'm scared where my husband Gabriel is.And in the evening he comes to the window from the side where the restroom, there is no one sees, the maternity house is two-storey, the staff do not see, I slowly got up, went to the window and saw my beloved husband-beautiful, he was young, slim, black-haired, straight nose, always smiled, my dear, how good it is that you came, I am going crazy, here I gave birth, and here you are not, and here War, I was told.Yes, dear Rosa, war, I arrived at night as I heard, well, don't worry about what will happen, but now we have two children and both sons, and then the whole world was worried. A week later, he took me out of the maternity hospital, and a week later they took him away, sent him with cars to Saratov, evacuated me, as I wrote earlier.He brought me to the wrong apartment where we lived, that apartment was old, the roof was leaking, everything in the room after the rain was splattered - sofa, table, bed, walls, water ran in the stream, and when he arrived from the rest house, he entered the room, looked and immediately went to the head of the fire brigade and asked him to enter the bedroom. Moved off the street. Flights to the street. The New World.Gabriel brought me things from home, my beautiful pink crepedeshine dress, model shoes with a rose and stockings for the color of shoes. It was not then 25 years, we are on the line, the yard is warm, the sun, such good weather, a brown horse, all the neighbors were jealous, but not for long. Although our men were taken, but not immediately. Dunaev Mikhail Andreevich, the head of the fire brigade, was taken earlier, and my Kiselev later.My husband took me to Novozvanivka, where my torture began, buried my mother and father in such horror. When I returned from Novozvanovka, I was already living on the street. Mikoyan at sister Vera a little, and then almost near the house, seized the apartment, moved and lived there with children. In the morning she drove the cow into the herd and went to tear the grass for the night, since you keep the cow, you need to feed, there is no one to hope for.I hear the plane buzzing, I raised my head, and the plane caught fire, apparently, the Germans shot down, and fell near the German camp, then the Germans were standing in May Day. I ran to the plane and other people ran to see, and then our Soviet pilot fell and crashed and the brains got out, and another fell away, not together. The pilot has a leather jacket short, and a tablet over his shoulder, or as it is called, where the documents are located.The policeman, our scumbag, Russian, comes up and says, "Here he is, in the barbed wire and throw more on him." You damned bastard, you corrupt skin, we think, but we keep silent and we cry and whisper, we are afraid to say too much. We cried as long as we stood, and the policeman said, do not cry for the dog, because here is a machine gun, I immediately shoot, and I said that you, our tears are not sorry, but I was afraid to say, as if not carried out my sentence. I chickened out, the fool doesn't care.Here comes out of the room a German half-dressed, in a kitel, with papers in his hand, must be a German clerk. He came to see the pilot and said, ‘I, I, the war, and then something else,’ but we didn’t know what he was saying. We built a camp in May Day, set up towers, set up their guards, but this was not the case, our troops drove them beyond our borders, and even further. But it was necessary to take the whole of Germany, not to divide it in two, so that there would be no Federal Germany, but all Democratic.I do not want Leonid Ilyich to die, he is already old, I want him to be immortal, he is an intelligent person, although people judge in different ways, and I understand in my own way. Now there are no poor people, there are no old people, as it used to be, imagine, there is no one to give an unfashionable dress or skirt to a person to bear, but we need to burn, we no longer know what we want. Every hostess has plenty of chiffoniere, and we're looking for something better.

Before the war, I had a neighbor and we were good friends, our husbands worked in the fire department, she loved me, I was 9 years younger than her. She was a dressmaker, and she loved other men. It wasn't about us, though. As soon as he goes to the market or to the store, he will buy me something from pins, brooches, scallops, and my hair is naturally curly, and he combs and combs these brooches.That's when I buy satina or calico for a dress, then it was fashionable, then she tries to sew for the evening, while the husbands come from work, to go to the movies at 8:00 p.m. and have me in a new dress. Says, Zhenya, you cook and I will sew. I'll go to the store, pick up groceries and meat and stuff, cook, and then spill in half, and a ready dress and a ready lunch.  for two families. I had one child, Vitya, who is now 46 years old. One morning her husband, Pavel Stepanovich, comes in and asks, Zhenya, do you know where Lida is mine? I said, I don't know, her brother came to visit you, so this guest apparently took Lida with him. - Come to us. Come on, we go into the room, the bed is taken away, things are taken from the chiffoniere, and the child overturned, crying: where is mom, where is mom.And Boris was 5 years old, I took Boris in my arms, and under the pillow there are cookies, candy, all three crying. My husband Gabriel came in, they were on one shift at night in the fire department. What do you want me to do? Well, we advise you to find a woman and get married. He did so, found Pasha, she worked as a cook in kindergarten, and married, and healed well in the first way. The war began, they took our husbands to the War, my husband to the rear with cars, as I wrote earlier, to Saratov, and then to the war.Paul S. returned from the war wounded in the arm, and his hand shrank. Lida writes me a letter after the war, wants to know how Boris and Pavel are. I wrote her that I got married and live well, only disabled Paul. She came to me, but we did not live there, in the building from where she was going, and he was given an apartment near the fire department, and to us.  On the New World, that's what the street was called. Boris grows up, studies, then studied as an agronomist, where he studied, there he married, in a city of some kind, has two children. In 1947, I went to her to break up with Dmitry, and he clutched.  And we went together, so I ran away from him. When we arrived, she was not very happy with us, because there was nothing to eat, and then we arrived. She left my dress and my hand watch, I did not give it away and quarreled with her, I sent many parcels with cereal, soap, sugar. She was supportive, and she deigned to choke my things. Well, Zhenechka," she says, "you see how I live; she sold a sewing machine, ate.Vanya, her lover, half-brother, turned out to be a watchmaker, waiting for someone to bring the clock to correct, and this is the village of Bolshaya Vyska, where at that time there were watches, rarely anyone had, sitting hungry, and even took a boy from an orphanage, Shuru. My husband, Dmitri Ivanovich, was jealous there, and he was swearing. I'm secretly  I wrote a letter to Sister Nusa - you gave me money on the road, otherwise I will not get out of here, not that on the road, and there is nothing to eat, I ate the money. I received money in the mail, I leave Dmitry Ivanovich, I went to the station, the train is coming, I have already taken a ticket, and he also came, calling for the room - who are you throwing me at, what am I supposed to be? I'm telling you, why were you going to fight with me? Marry here and live, and I'm going.And so I didn't see her for a long time, no matter how much she wrote me, I didn't answer. In 1979, I received a letter from her. Write, please reply to my letter. I replied that I felt sorry for her, she writes, describe how Lushpay Pavel Stepanovich is. I write to her that his wife Pasha died, and Pavel Stepanovich in a nursing home, Boris came to this house, and sold the apartment for 1500 rubles. But then she immediately answered my letter.I will come in early spring and take Pavel Stepanovich to my place, please go to Popasna in the nursing home and talk to him about me. I wrote, here's the address of the nursing home and Boris, correspond with them yourself, as you squandered, and squander. I can't go, I'm texting her, I'm on the bus and I'm 15 kilometers away. She stopped talking.So I went to the meat store on Tuesday, and a woman tells me in line that Lushpay died in the Nursing Home and was buried without his son Boris, but came by telegram, brought things, money, clothes, bury his father, and then they coped. He looked at the grave, cried, quarreled with the staff that they had given a telegram late, the third day after his death, and drove. Boris was also taken from the orphanage as a child, but still the Father brought him up and taught him to become an agronomist.Not the father who gave birth, but the one who raised – so says the proverb. Lidin’s husband the second left his wife Vera, and Lida left her husband Lushpay, otherwise they did not think that they were really brother and sister. Vanina’s mother married another husband already with Vanya, a son, and settled Lida and Marusya, who worked in Big Whiskey as a prosecutor at that time, but she refused such an independent sister.Marusya came to her two months earlier than I, in 1947, so she stole the broken boots from Marusi, Marusya quarreled with her forever, divorced her brother and family, the orphan’s children remained, a boy of 12 years and a girl of 10 years. Days go by, you look around, you're about to die, but no, you don't want to die, and then on TV they say Carter pulled his nuclear weapons closer to our borders, there's another Hitler cursed.Wounds are opening, hearts are hurting, look, gentlemen, no matter how wrong you may be, know that the Russian people, the Russian Ivan, are invincible. A pig's face is red. Hitler washed himself with blood, just like all Russian people, we will never retreat, we have this policy, only to defeat the enemy, wherever he comes from. Bloody people do not want to live peacefully.

In the yard there is good weather, almost the whole month of February 1980, sunny, quiet, frosty, smiling to all people weather. Everyone praises, and you want to take a walk in the Russian Winter, but we do not have it, the administration does not organize it, maybe it will, and when, you can not hear. People are all the same, they don’t want war, but what does US President Carter want? Is it Brezhnev L.I.?I would not share what they need, an exchange, because you can agree, and our leader Brezhnev L.I. is doing his best to settle between the two countries, the United States.  and the USSR. The world, and he climbs, like a viper sneaks up, finds fault with every word. Here is the Olympics, it is a good game, and let them play, and they are happy, and we have a lot to see on TV, but still our athletes will not fail anywhere, well dressed in winter clothes, fur jackets, and with great effort work to be the best of the best, and brought ten awards, if I am not mistaken.Dear athletes, we, the fans in the country, have fun from our winners at the Olympics.

When I was young, I was 15 or 16 years old, and we used to go for walks in the evenings. My father used to swear, never let me walk outside. Mom scolded that she lets us in the evening, and Mom, when the cow comes from the herd, milks the cow and prepares milk grout for dinner or cooks dumplings with cottage cheese, while my father manages with the cow, pigs, chickens, we will already steal out into the street to walk. Moms we were not afraid, she was affectionate, sweet, Father strict, maybe a whip.Mother says, it used to be, go for a walk, you still have ahead, but see that the Father did not see, but make sure that it was not so, as with Gurdhieva Thekla, this girl did not go outside, but gave birth to a child, so that it did not turn out so.One evening we, the girls, gathered, as usual, near Pylypasheva Klava, there were shops near her front garden, and we always gathered there, a lot of girls and boys, an accordion played, and we danced gopak, a lady, a crayfish, a pole, an apple. One night, we sang hard, the moon goes out, we cut our throat.Look, there are clappers from Dacha Kalino-Popasna, we encourage each other, come on, girls, let's sing songs, the clappers are coming, and we see between them the Sailor goes on a visit, Nikonov Fedya came on vacation, and we argued, next to whom he will sit, which girl he likes more. Marusya says he will sit next to me, and Lenka says Galinina, next to me, argue, and Klava says, next to me, in general, we argue and guess which of us he will like the girl.They came up, congratulated, and the harmonist sat down on the bench and let's play the lady on the move. Here we go. This Sailor, as they met – my name is Fedya – pushed the girls on the bench next to me, word for word, and he ordered the Lady, and then Apple.How did you go to dance, and the girls pinch me, you parasite, whisper, took the Sailor, and then I ordered a gopak, the Sailor supported me, took me by the hand, and after the dance we sat down with him on the bench, and the evening was not over, and he offered me to walk, and we went for a long walk, then came to my yard and sat down on the porch, it is already lighting, and we are sitting. My father went out to the yard and said what kind of girl it is, the smaller or the older one has been walking for so long, but go to the hut, enough.But we have a short night, at least one more night together, so that one of the two turns out to be one. When Fedei and I broke up, he went home. Dad says Verka's been sleeping for a long time, and you've been out for so long. I went to the house, I fell so in love with this Fedu, I couldn't sleep. And my mother cooked curd dumplings from cottage cheese for dinner and put them on tiles so that they were warm as we come from the street.I climb on the Russian stove, where Vera was already asleep, and my mother says, eat, Zhenya, dumplings, and I tell her where to eat there, oh my God, She's a coma - what's wrong with you, Zhenya. - It's not about dumplings, I fell in love with a sailor. - Who is he? - My mother asked. I told her, Yes, from Dachi Nikonov Fedya. - Oh, people are good, rich. She still gave me the heat, I did not sleep until the morning and all day walked like a stray, doing some things on the housework, my mother will send me a job and I will have a job.Fedya walked every other day until his vacation ended, and on the penultimate day in the evening he came to our front garden, stands at the hut, waiting for me. I got dressed, went out, walked for a long time, until midnight, and then he took me by the chest, leaned against me and kissed me. I pushed him away from me and walked away from him, he asked me why you, Zhenya, and I did not answer him, I am going to the hut. - I don't want to date you. Why not? - You think I'm a whore, no, don't think so - and went to the hut.Almost crying, I climbed on the stove and pushed my older sister, Vera. - I'm having a baby. - What are you doing, she says, who are you with? - Yes, with this Fedei, he disgusted me so much that I could not say goodbye to him, he took me by the breast, and now I will have a child like Gurdhieva Thekla, what will I do? Vera listened and said, "Oh, you ram, you go out into the street, and even with the claps you stand until the morning, and do not know what happens to the child."Well, she explained everything to me in detail, and I calmed down, and yet you will not return Fedu, he already went to serve in the army today. He sent me a letter, but I did not answer him, but Sister Vera answered that she answered him, I don’t know, love with Fedei burned out and the ashes cooled. I go with my neighbor Misha Mazko, he had a brother Grisha, and both were in love with me. When I go with Misha, then Grisha will come and disperse to their homes - come on, Zhenya, let's go, I like you.I tell him - and I don't love you, I love Bear - will still stuff him and me and push me and Mishka into the hut. I see it's not going to work, I'm taking my things and I'm going to G. Pervomaisk, entered the dining room to work in 1931. First I worked in the buffet, and then I joined the waitress in 1933, there was hunger, but I did not see hunger.Grishka Mazko came, but I almost warmed him up - why are you driving for 18 km, there did not give rest at home, in Novozvanovka, and even came to Pervomaika, go so that I do not see you. I walk alone, and there was a miner Yasha Akhatyuk, began to flirt – come on, beauty in a red beret, walk, you are alone and I am alone, come on? I began to walk with this Yasha, he brought me gifts, earned well in the mine, but as I see – he is shorter than me – I do not like short men.- Yasha, I don't want to go with you. - Why? - He was so surprised, - I earn good money, get married and live. - Why would I want your money? I didn't go with him. Began to walk with Gavryusha Kiselev, this boy earned 450 rubles. with that money, at that time everything was for thousands. Well, to hell with him, but tall, handsome, black. Walked, walked, he proposed to me, I agreed, and here is my partner for work Dusia.The two of us worked as waitresses, she served the workers in dirty dressings, and I was in a clean room, where firefighters usually went to dinner at 6 p.m., and there is no my firefighter Gavryusha and my partner is not at work (she came in advance, took snacks and got away). She's gone, and I run to two halls like a stunner, serving him and asked his comrades why I didn't come to Gavrush's dinner. They all smile and do not speak, but Kolya Bugaev, his comrade, said, Zhenya, I will go to see you off.I'm saying why, because you know I go with Gavrusha. - He won't be here today. Why not? - I'll tell you. Usually the dining room closes at 11 p.m., managed and leave the dining room number 120 on Volkova Street. Kolya Bugaev stands, I approached him, and we went, and he tells me.- Soul took your Gavryusha, here, without reaching the store, hung herself around his neck and said, I love you, I cannot live without you, I do not sleep, I do not eat, you stand in front of your eyes, and do not let him from you - come to me, I brought snacks from the dining room, and eat, let's go - and pulls, and kisses, does not hesitate us, comrades who went from duty to dinner with him. I didn't say anything to Kohla, so that's the thing, why they weren't having dinner.- Zhenya, let's meet, - says Kolya, - Oh wait, - I tell him. On the second day I come to work, Dusya comes out, does not look at me, does not lift my eyes, I seem to know nothing. What am I gonna do to her? What is he to me, a husband? Although I love him, I didn’t give him a look, at six in the evening everyone is going, and my Gavryusha goes, smiles, I behave modestly, put up plates, first, second, bread and went on, continue to work.In the evening he came to see me home and began to explain everything. In order. Well, I asked him, in the evening you could come home to see me out, because it's 11 o'clock, I'm afraid to go home alone at midnight. She refused to let me in, untied two dogs and said, ‘Go, let the dogs tear you apart.’ - And Zhenya? I have to take her home from work.- What the hell with her, your wife, she says, well, I stayed until morning, spent the night with her, that's all, I confessed myself, no matter what people said. I want you to forgive me. I forgave him. Because I loved him.

Firefighters continue to go to dinner, breakfast, lunch, I look at this Bugaev Kolya, I ask why you are. Kolya, so lost weight, and he says to me, I love you, I can neither sleep nor eat, here you stand before my eyes, your red beret, your curly hair does not give me peace. I told him, forget about me, I love Piglet, even though he tripped, to hell with him, that's all.

The dining room staff were going to bathe in the bath of the Menzhinsky mine, and I went with them, ran into the Toilet, which was standing in the courtyard, then got lost in the doors, I first came to the bath at the mine.I went into the first door and got into the men's room, there is a man naked, I was embarrassed and closed the door and thought, because Vera told me that a woman with a man would touch, and then there would be a child, but is it possible to touch such, because a woman has a narrow gap, well I thought, I don't believe myself, I found my women's bath and I think, probably, Vera lies, and I am ashamed to talk to girls and keep silent.How so, Gavryushu love, I am going to marry him, well, I was not, what will be, what will be, and I love him.

Gavryush made me an offer, I agreed, we are getting married in my Novozvanovka, there is a wedding, people are having fun, who drank how much, who three drinks, who four, are suffused, two harmonicas play, one for the old and the other for the young. Someone turned off the lights, and then there were kerosene lamps in 1933, in December, the lights went out, until the matches were found, while they lit up, and they continue dancing, singing. People what?To have fun at a wedding, then not a wedding without fun, we walked well, the walk ended and we went to the neighbor Stupakova Ksyutka to sleep, lie down, and the groom is angry, incapable of a woman. Well, I made sure that that was the case, touching a man and a woman to have a baby, even though we didn't. We came home to his village Kashtanovka to his relatives, lived with them, and then eventually moved to Pervomaika and asked for an apartment.He was given a firefighter in the first building in Alberta, in this building lived only firemen and guards, and we were given an apartment for two families: a kitchen, we are in the hall, and Karp Ganja in the bedroom. We love each other, but we live like brother and sister, he kisses me, forgives me and immediately cries, and I love him, and we both cry. He tells me, you, Zhenya, go to your mother and tell her that we live like brother and sister.I tell him – I am ashamed to say this, we will live like this, and he answers me that people do not live like this, he has already been with women, he knows that they do not live like this, and I understood, but where to take him, if not, it does not work. I went to my mother in Novozvanovka and began to tell my mother, just reminded and fell silent and came to no avail. We live seven months and that's it.He sends me back to my mother, I went back, I began to talk, and I can’t tell, but this time I was able to have the courage to say, even though it was a shame to say, because he scolded me: what kind of daughter you are, all going to your mother and afraid to talk about your life as a daughter. I was just starting to talk, and she guessed and said, what, you live like brother and sister, right? Yeah? I said yes. - Why do you keep quiet?- she says, - I understood everything the time you came, but it was too late, you went home. My mother immediately went to the neighbor Damascina Efrosinje, talked, and she says, Maria Korneevna, in Popasna there is a grandmother Goroshikha, who damages and all sorts of conspiracies. Mom went to Popasna on foot seven kilometers, found this Pea, talked to her, she said, let your children come to me in the clothes that were at the wedding.Mom informed us, and the three of us went to the Pea in Popasna the next day. When we entered the room, greeted her, she splashed with her hands: Oh, you are my flowers luxurious, but who mocked you? Looked at me, felt, and then Gavryusha – remove the cartridge, and in the cartridge under the buckle is screwed wire from the guitar, shows – this is what, they say, children, you, young boy, done to make you crazy, and it affected the penis.Gavryusha began to cry, she began to persuade, do not cry, son, everything will be fine, and she gave us a drink, and then she gave something to wear with her. I made belts and sewed it into my belt, I can’t tell you, something wrapped in oil paper, so we came home to May Day and began to live as expected, I gave birth to a son Vitya, and then Tolya. So I found out where people come from. They won’t believe it now, but it’s true.

After the war, I worked in Burtsekh, from the guard stood on the gate, on duty, met my childhood friend, but immediately did not guess. He is.  He came up to me and asked, in 1966, where are you from? I said, they say, from Novozvanovka. - Who were your neighbors? The Damascenes were on the right and the Mazka on the left. There were three brothers: Vasily, Grigory and Mishka. - Here I am, Misha. I mean, what are you doing? I recognized him by the tooth, he had a crooked tooth on the right side, then he laughed: And remember how our Gregory did not let us meet. - I remember, I said.- And then you went to Mayday, but I was still thinking about you, and when I found Gavryusha and married him, and you came to your mother, and your mother sent you to the shore to water cabbage, tomatoes, pepper, I watched you, I myself go to water the gardens, and the gardens are nearby, the husband of Gavryusha hugs and kisses you under the willow, and I stand and cry. I loved you, I couldn't sleep at night, I cried in my pillow. - Yes, - I said - that's what you arranged for me at the wedding.He confessed that it was our Mother who did to you so that you would not marry a stranger, she wanted you to separate from Gavryushka and marry me or Grisha. - But I was already married? - So what, we loved you anyway. What would you do if I married you? Fighting?- Here I came from the War with the rank of Major, did not get married for a long time, came to May Day, looking for you, but did not find your address, I did not marry until 1946, and then decided to marry my telegraph operator, went and brought, I have two children, I live in Popasna, I bought my house, I work in Moscow.  In the bus park, I came to Burzech. I'm saying I'm standing here at the gate for security. I compared youth, consider childhood, now do not know, matured, slim, medium fat, black, beautiful. - I would never recognize you. - And I do.  I found out, but doubted and asked how beautiful you were, and now you have become ugly, eyes swollen, wrinkles on your face. - What do you equal, how much do you survive? That was 1930 and that was 1966. Here by chance I went to Mironivka and, passing through Novozvaeivka, stopped to buy honey, and the residents told me that Misha Mazka died. I still had hope to see him at least someday, because it was a childhood, to talk, to see him, but that's all, gone forever.

Yesterday, April 5, 1980, my son Viti had a birthday, he turned 45 years old. I went. I congratulated with a postcard, baked a cake, bought two white mugs, a bottle, as usual, now a vodka world. I painted my testicles, because today is a big holiday, Easter, coincided almost with my birthday, on April 6 I went to church, although I do not go to it on ordinary days, but today I went to holy Easter. It rains all night, but there are a lot of people in the church.An annual holiday. She came home in the morning, went to the neighbors Yurchenkov, brought them three testicles and cut off the sacred Easter, christified, kissed three times and came home. Sit down, she broke up, ate 2 testicles and Easter cut off a piece of fat, and then went to bed. Tossing, tossing, not sleeping, a kidney hurt, there is no one in the room, alone, like a wolf, tired, gave food to the dog, chickens, went into the room. What do I do?Loneliness is a terrible thing, and then there is the weather, fog, rain, damp, neither go anywhere, nor sit in the room, thank you to the man who invented TV, radio. I turned on the radio, this is not enough, I turned on the TV – says, the whole room screams, as if I had a lot of people in my room, and even on television broadcast a concert of songs and dances choral, I began to sing along – oh, easy, easy box  “Corrobeins”), and I had fun at heart, what I know a penny pulling up. Loneliness is a coffin with music, especially in winter. I decided to go to Sister Vera, baked a cake with fish, cut it in half, put it in a bag and went, I come, went into the wing, they are more there. Hello there! I got the same answer, don't take off your shoes, come on, sit down. In the wing was sister Vera and her daughter-in-law Shura and grandson Alexei 7 years old, son of Shura and Nicholas.I said I came to talk about the wires as we go to Nyusi's coffin, together or apart. Vera immediately shouted at me, why did you write to daughter Alla about Lyuda and me, saying, what is your business? And made a scandal. I listened, listened, and then I was ripped off - you dictated so much, and I wrote, my mother is paralyzed by her granddaughter Lyuda, she does not obey, fights with clappers at home and on the street, went to school, put on my down scarf and poured something on him, I shake, I do not know what to do.- And then, why did you give the chiffonier Svekolenko for transporting things, Alexander Grigorievich would hire a car for 3 rubles and transport it. I said, yes, I gave three rubles, and the chiffonier gave us all, not me alone, thought four heads, and I did not load or unload things. I called you from the Burzech, A.G. said expensive, then Vitya was at my place, and I told him, call the Kolesnikovs and you said, give it back, and then the chiffonier was in your yard in a car, why didn't you load?I would have given him for transportation, if mine was not enough, and I would have kept a chiffonier, and I also poured 200 g of Vasily Kirillovich Svekolenko, he asked Alexander Grigorievich like a gypsy, and he had no money with him and said, give. Zhenya, 3 rubles for the driver. Why didn't you unload the fridge and the washing machine, I don't need them, I have nowhere to put them. - So they mistakenly took you. - Well, take it or I'll throw it away. Vera and I had a big conversation.I say, you despise me all your life, and that's not true, Ilyaniha D.S., Kolbasiha K.N., the bander Varka - all of you bitches. He heard A.G. through the window, took my cake, wrapped it in the newspaper that had been previously wrapped, put it in my purse and took me by the hand and took me out of the hut by the gate, he came out and said: "I'm sorry, she's sick." I said I didn't come here to fight, but I came here to talk about business. Well, you're fine, and I'm sorry, I'm sorry to tolerate a lie.I walked and cried with resentment all the way. In the afternoon, Pavlik and Nina arrived, although I missed them a lot. I was glad they didn't forget me. Why didn’t you bring Seryozha, I want to see how he grew up, somehow confused, I don’t know what to put on the table for joy.There were testicles, buckwheat soup, printed out canned fish, pickles, Easter sliced and bread, I thought to wrap the whole Easter for the children from me and forgot, and now I worry. I gave dyed testicles, and Nina took only two pieces, they are in a hurry, I want to tell my offense, I was in a hurry and forgot, and then the kidneys fell ill for real.On Friday, Easter baked with grief in half, on Saturday I went to my son Vita on the name day, on Resurrection the hospital does not work, on Monday I expect a pension and have no time to be treated, and there is no sleep, kidneys hurt. Pavlik advised to drink oats, and I drank St. John's wort and horsetail, and acacia, all together brewing and drinking, which will help, herbs or oats. How weak I became, I remember when there was War and wounded a soldier near the barn, then I took him myself and dragged him into the closet, the walls were broken in the hut, only the pantry remained.Such a big soldier, and I dragged him on his shoulders, bandaged his leg above the knee, he vomited his buttocks and  There was terrible blood, there was a torn tablecloth in the pantry, so I did not have enough to tie it. It was more than 80 kg and at least, I did not frown, only scared. I was thanked by the orderlies and took the soldier on a stretcher and carried away, it is unlikely that this soldier survived such a wound, on the shore stood the ambulance of our Soviet Army. Oh, my God, what a horror, I bandage his wound, he screams, my baby is lying on the floor, screaming, and I'm here.  I was afraid and I screamed, oh, my God, my God, what to do, save us, Lord! Time has passed. Already I went to the hospital with a large candle, coped with the doctors and went to the room, where the head farm Svekolenko V.K. Gathered up impudence, overcome me with resentment, but still decided to say, 0 you know, Vera Kolesnikova objects that I gave you the chiffonier, give it back. And he said, "Please take him in my barn, I mean, he's bothering me in the barn."- Well, please forgive me," I told him, "let her take it and choke on it. I go home crying with shame. On the way meets the neighbor Kolesnikov Ivan Severin, may have been in the hospital. “Tell the Kolesnikovs, please,” I tell him, “let them take the chiffonier from Svekolenka, I agreed, but let them hire their own car, and Svekolenko will not give the car any more, take it back.”I did not calm down and now I come home, sit down and write a letter to them: “Vera Grigorievna and Alexander Grigorievich!” Accidentally met Svekolenko and agreed on a chiffonier, go take it away, it is old fashion, they do not need, you can put in the coffin yourself, Vera, you would choke on them. I never thought that someone close to my blood could be an enemy like my sister Vera and not put your suffering into her soul.I cannot look in the other direction, where she is walking or sitting, I involuntarily shed tears, it seems that it is easier to bear from a stranger and let him in the wind, because he is a stranger. On a day called Red Hill, we went to the cemetery. It was Sunday, I think, April 12, 1980. I, Vitya, Yura, Anya took vodka, snacks, brewed Kanun, cut pasca, pie, candy, cookies, potatoes with meat stewed.We came first, and they came after, sister Vera, her daughter-in-law Shura, Nikolai son and A.G. with his grandson Alexei. She also poured vodka into a glass, put Nyuse on the grave of potatoes, because Nyusya loved potatoes, candy, cookies, cheese, sausage - she went into the fence and spreads it, but she did not look at me. I am standing near the fence, only Yura turned away, and she tells him imperceptibly that you, Yura, do not listen to grandmother Zhenya, she lies about TV, I said nothing, excuses.And went to see matchmakers Lena, mother's brother-in-law's grave, she died two years ago, and before everyone said that Lena's grandmother was dirty uncouth, children and grandchildren beat her away, that Lena's grandmother stinks and cooks bad borscht. Shura came to me, gave me cookies, sweets to remember the woman Lena, and I asked her: - Well, Shura, did they take the schmfonier? And she: For God's sake! - Don't say anything. I also asked, yes or no, that Vera did not hear - no, not brought, not taken.Shuru, too, turned against me, Anna against me, all – one Nicholas, her son, sees and hears how rude she is, and immediately shuts her mouth, although she is a mother, she tells the truth, and she does not like it. And they all play to her tune. Well, to hell with you, we were in a hurry to leave the cemetery ourselves and went forward, otherwise they will think that we are waiting for them, we want to go from the cemetery, because we are passing by them, and went home.At one fine time I went to the factory to buy a cucumber for okroshka, there is a cunning market, accidentally met with Svekolenko V.K., congratulated, he gave me a hand and said, Kuma Zhenya, if you do not take the chiffonier, I will put it in the yard, let the rain rinse. - Did you call the Kolesnikovs? - Called. - Who answered? - Alexander Grigoryevich, that they do not need him. - So why the hell is she messing with me, viper?Do you have any idea, Vasily Kirillovich, what a bastard, or maybe it's just a nitpicker? Or maybe she does not know, she was not given my letter that I sent, or maybe Severin Ivan told A.G., and she did not tell her, and she has a resentment at me, what blood-suckers are still, rattling my nerves to the uttermost, why she gave the chiffonier, and they do not want to take it when I already get even with her, so as not to know and not hear once and for all. Bloody drink!If there is a God in the world, let him judge us and punish us with his judgment, I ask the Lord God and the Queen of Heaven. The Most Holy Virgin.

In 1947, she sold a cow after the war and replaced it with another cow. I myself was afraid to go on the road with such big money, 5,000, and asked A.G. Kolesnikov to go with me, and here we went, but for the fact that he was worried, he bought a piglet, and two of me, only three pieces, bought a cow and drove from Starobilsk for 2 days, brought, Sister Vera tells me (and it has been two weeks) why you do not give a piglet. And I said, why don't you take it?Please go and take it, for two weeks I've been feeding three piglets, single woman, I have such worries, I don't have time to look uphill.A child, a cow, pigs, and you are sitting with Nyusay, reading books, they have no time to come to take a piglet, which is only a hamlug, came with a reprimand, and then she reproached Kolesnikov, she was already jealous of my husband, and I did not know, we considered him for his brother, all turned with Nyusei to him, we are without husbands, he returned from the War alone – Nusin Timofey Martynovich died, my Gavryusha married. Well, it was my fault.I take the children, the little one and the older one by the hands, I go to them - what do you say, viper, and we had a big fight with her, and she made it clear that he was jealous of me. Therefore, I do not have a soul for her as a sister, she did not take into account my grief, my sufferings, as you can call her a sister, for the whole century she does not work, she sharpens nonsense, lives with her legitimate husband and her children.I would like her to be left without a husband, I have no words to express, I do not have enough anger against her, I would shoot her, my hand would not waver. I don't want to get upset, it just hits my head. It's Saturday, August 2, and it's Nyusi's birthday. I'm six.  She wore gladioli flowers to her sister Nusa in the graveyard, and loved flowers when she was alive. She told me who would go to my grave and how I would be buried. I told her I'd do what I had to do, and I'd bury her, and I'd go to the grave to wear flowers, be calm. Thank you, Jenny, my dear sister. Here's the grave.The upper fence is unpainted, because the paint that Vitya took from the store remained with the Kolesnikovs, and they do not paint, and now you need to buy paint for a second time and paint your sister’s grave. This is the day of remembrance, the year. The Kolesnikovs made a wake earlier than a week, on Saturday 11.H.80, They heard that I was preparing to do a wake 18.H.80.  Let's do it quickly, to the evil of me, but I don't know them, do what you want, damn you, thieves, speculators, all my life buying pigs, cutting and reselling, and now they go to Volgograd and speculate. Accidentally met Fenya Burimsha, she saw how Nyusya bought new blankets, sheets and pillowcases, made a stock, and where they are, we did not share them.When the ambulance took Nyushu to the hospital for three days, Vera came to her room at night (the keys were both from Vera and me) and took clothes from the chiffonier, and now she puts on glasses: where are the new duvets, that they are not? I'm preparing a transmission for Nyusa at the hospital, and she's on the chiffonier, and she's never deigned to bring it. Nyusya would still be alive, but she was upset to see that she had taken from the chiffonier shelves, and she became upset and died. There she is, Sister Verka.And I was turned against Nyusi, but I live with my mind, right, and I quarreled with Nyusya because of her curiosity, is this the disease or old age? When Vera got blood pressure, they thought she would die, and what did she tell me? - You don't bury me near Nyusi. Your husband will be buried, tell him. And what did Nyusya do to her, other than good? She milked her, gave her a ruble, and took her for two, the damned viper.One grief or another, who will read this manuscript, will understand and weigh my life, and that the Lord freed me from attacks for my justice, and she is still cowardly for her lies, for her Injustice, unconsciousness.  To a man who has suffered as much grief as I have. I hear from people that it is as if I have taken new blankets, sheets and pillowcases, but understand, I cannot do this in front of a living sister, I have pity, conscience and consciousness. Nyusya lived without a husband, cooked for herself, who knew how long she would live, and the stores are getting worse and worse delivering goods, as I will rob such an old sister, no and no, and again no.At the moment I have the highest throat, I was retired and worked and bought everything, enough for my life. Nicholas, Verin's son, cuts the truth in the eyes, and therefore she hates as a mother that he does not know how to shave. The daughter of Alla is yours and ours, but, of course, she will be more for her mother, and Aunt Zhenya is not in the hell needed, two-faced!

10.HP.1980. I met Sapozhnikov Valya, asks what is there with you and Vera, that she is so offended at you, they say,  Let him take everything, and the sofa, even if I die, does not come to my grave, my husband and I drove her out of the hut. - Why did you ask her? You Moscow slut, don't let it measure by itself, tell her, okay?

My eyes don't dry out, I remember my mother lying littered in walls with her head flattened, how do I forget that? And how many such cases, shocks to my sore head, Maria, my daughter-in-law, received a letter from Alla, in which she writes that your mother-in-law smeared my mother, but she did not reply to her.If she had been my daughter, she would have answered: I don’t know who slandered whom, I was in a section when aunts shared things, and my father-in-law took what Aunt Vera gave her. They're so good,  They divided all things quietly, and my mother-in-law did not mind that your mother had taken all the dessert plates for herself, and my mother-in-law had six trays, and her father-in-law was silent and took them in silence. Maybe she did not come to her senses out of grief and fear, because she does not need them either, she is already old, and where to put them. But your mother, Aunt Verka, is stingy and cunning, so I understood her, and my mother rightly did because I saw everything.My mother-in-law does not have a husband, you can say anything about her, because she is an unhappy widow, and I am a stranger, I do not care. Here I got sick, and no one enters the room on this day, I am so offended, and in general this month is foggy, rainy, dull, cheerful, there is no sun, dirt, somehow unpleasant on the soul.And then I got sick with sore throat, I began to get cold, nausea, my throat hurts, I can’t get up on my feet and I remember Sister Nyushu, how she said that my legs hurt, and I need to go. And as much as loneliness torments me, it torments me now too. I lay in a cold room for the day without drowning, and then on the second day my son Vitya came, I was so glad that he came. - What are you doing, Mom?- Yes, I'm sick, I have a temperature of 38, I'm freezing and hot, I don't understand. - Take your pills. - I didn't find them. He climbed into the nightstand, took out the boxes of medicines, found the pills, I began to drink, the temperature was asleep, he applied coal, firewood to the room, melted the stove, it became very different in the room and on the soul easier.Mother, you are like in the war, sitting in a cold room, as we sat cold and hungry, because I was six years old, I remember how many people were packed, or rather, soldiers in our garden, there are many horses, people in black capes, you see, Don soldiers stood in Novozvanovka. The next day I came back, what do you need? I said bring some bread and milk.He went home and sent Vitalik with milk, and another time sent Yura with milk and bread, so this one did not even enter the room, put it in the kitchen and went, but did not come to me, did not ask, well, how are you, grandmother, sick or what? I only heard his voice, and I did not see what an inattentive grandson Yura, only said: I have Yulka, I am in a hurry. I said, bring her here, I haven't seen her in a long time, two months as she's grown up or not. - No, she's home.- I thought it was in the yard.  In a wheelchair, and the mother is home with Yulka. And go, that's how my grandson needs me, how callous, inattentive. So deny him something after death, the soul does not lie, a soulless man. But thank God that I have such a son Vitya, he did not stop coming to me until I recovered, every morning he came, from the cellar took out potatoes, burachka, cucumbers in banks, everything I needed. Thank you, my dear son, God bless you, my dear blood.I write about myself and I don’t believe in myself, but it was really all, believe me, reader.

In 1942 came from the front line, as I have already written, one skin and bones, and then the husband Gabriel asks for a divorce, called fighting. My husband gave up, I don’t eat anything, I went on a hunger strike, I just cry. Sister Vera says, "Do something to keep her alive, or you'll leave me children." I accidentally got to Varka Vasilyeva's apartment, and she had our Red Army soldiers standing there.I stayed to sit with the people, invited me to the table, and they sing and dance with the soldiers, and the women were there, everyone was having fun. And when the glasses were raised, I remembered my beloved husband and I think where I went and why I need these parties, and how I will pay sobs. They all paid attention to me - well, Zhenya, we live, they say, one day. I don't think I've ever been in a company like this, but I have to lift my spirits to get started.  No one invites me, I'm so scary, skinny, and everyone disgusts me, depraved company, but still, when I got home, I got an appetite. I put the question another way: I keep a cow, make sour cream, brew moonshine, ask women when you'll still be gathering, and go where there are people.And I began to gain strength, I keep the cow, I feed the children, and there was no one to expect, my husband married, so I had to do something to start life again and save myself at least for the children. If you die, no one needs you, and if you laugh, how many conversations are needed.

I remember living in D. Pervomaisk with children, and my son Tolya was still young, found somewhere the kids, and it was not immediately after the war, the detonator and began to beat, and he exploded and injured Tolik Khokhlov, and these three only easily injured. My Tolya resorts in the blood belly, and then ran almost naked – there was nothing to dress the children, and he was 5 or 6 years old, my mother, Zeda hit me with a bucket, and Zedoy was my godfather Fedya.It seemed to him that their Mother was my Kum, she had three of them, from the first Tol from Khokhlov, and these two, Fedya and Volodya, from Sausage. I looked at Tolia and remembered the explosion on the other side of the street, and ran there, looked at her son lying unconscious Tolik, and these are all screaming.I ran to Klava to work and informed her, she had already run to the hospital, and the children were taken by the neighbors to the Hospital, she looked at them as if they were in blood, fell and lost consciousness, I was next to her screaming, and the mother of these children died, then the doctors ran out, began to pee, she overturned and ran asking where my children were, and they were taken to the ward or operating doctors and began to do treatment.

March 1961, the other day my daughter-in-law Maria told me that when she lived with me, I was expecting Victor, I did not feed her when she went to work, the brakes put bread with butter in the mine, and Dmitry Ivanovich and Tolik sausage and bread with butter. I told her how much I had done to her and quarreled with D.I. for you, and you had to be kicked out completely, and since you were tender to Victor, and just a girl waiting for a clapper from someone else's aunt from the Army.But I took you in like a daughter, took pity on you and hated my husband. I took 30 rubles for harchi, and D. Ivanovich says and scolds me that I take little for harchi, let him give 50 rubles, and I am better,  Yes, let him put the rest on the book, and I gave them to her myself, although she gave everything, and I put them on the savings book to her, and when Victor comes from the Army and collect the money. Then buy something in the apartment, and she sees that she sang, and the pressure has risen both at me and at her, I have a headache for two days, says that I gave 300 rubles, and you earned them? These 300 rubles.Yes, in 1956 it was all for thousands, they say that you fed all four people with my money and coped with my money 300 rubles. I'm curious to know the gas meter was a stupid woman, so to speak, I went to work hungry. Always in the first shift they go to work, I get up at five o'clock, make breakfast hot, at six o'clock breakfast on the table.Hot eat fresh, and then the brakes wrapped, anyway, mother-in-law cobra I would be good if Victor brought you, and I would kick you out - Dmitry Ivanovich shakes his nerves, and even in his house took grief added. You ungrateful pig, you're a girl who lives unrecorded and I put my whole soul into it, and she doesn't even know how to name you.At one time she made the room anointed, so Victor came from the Army, cried that her mother had made her smear, and I cooked dumplings for her, pressed on the table where she was smearing, hot ones for her to eat, and she is now telling me you did not want me to get up from the table where I smeared, to sit at the kitchen table for food. I had no second thoughts - the kitchen table was busy, it was full on it, well, what's the big deal! He does.You sent me to Aunt Nyusi to smear, and I went, the two were at her, smeared, she is old, and you Young in a good way means nothing, well, not free, and you cried before Victor - what am I, a worker? It's not that, it's that you're a poor lodar, Aunt Nyusya paid you then bought stockings.That's how you went to the cutting and shittya courses, paid money for them, and Galya Zabiyak, and you now give Gala your dresses to sew her, she takes money from you for a payment of 10 rubles., And you are a fool, you do not want to take care that she sewed herself, and Imb made a mess, but on the tongue turns to insult the overhead, you know very well that I can not be upset, and you, say what did not happen, and all through grandson Yura quarreled.

Yura drinks and she says let him drink,  He doesn't say anything to him, and I'm hurt and sorry that he'll get drunk and be lying under fences. I'm crying, I'm nervous for them because I'm grandma and I feel sorry for him. And he says you kicked me out? How did I kick you out, make you go to your sister D.I.'s Riki with my concerts when I met you and Raika with knots on the street, I wasn't home, what were you saying? That it was impossible to live with you, because the Father is angry drunk, and now what are you saying?You're rinsing my brains, you bastard, I'm not angry, I have a headache from you,  The pig is ungrateful, and now you say that I kicked you out, oh you, and you should be kicked out, it would be my fault if I were grateful. Where are your words that you said to people then, my mother-in-law is better than my mother, and the Lord will send you that cup of drink that you wish me, and tell all neighbors that they say so and so, and people believe her, and I am judged as soon as it is insulting to endure injustice.Vitaly became ill, I went to see them, took the candy of the hotel, they themselves are home to Yura and Vitaly, and their relatives went to the Theater.  “I’m dying” to watch a movie, Yurina’s wife was with her relatives with Julia, I began to go home. Yura says I'm going to see you off, grandma Zhenya. Come on, darling, he says it was late at night.  Grandma, don't upset your mom, because she's under pressure, she'll die of the disorder someday. You see Yura, you're warning me that you don't upset your mom, and why don't you tell her that if you have pressure, then don't start with your grandmother for the past because she's the first one to start, and I'll keep quiet? She turns her tongue to insult me. Here Yura you now give for food 100 rubles, and they.My father takes 200 rubles from the book, only 300 rubles, so why doesn't she feed you for free? Huh? Why? And she was a stranger to me, and I  I did my best, sheltered her and collected her money, what thanks am I now? It's like a dog. Vikto, your father. I came from the Army, so she lied as she wanted at me, and I did what was best and my trouble, also wants to bite as deep.Now when Vitaly was born in 1966 on February 1st, I did not live with him as long as they had their own apartment, I went to work in August 1966 I Vitaly did not babysit, and I handed over to you already, you were 6 years old, your mother Maria began to go to hospitals - then pneumonia and sore throat in Vitaly and you, and why? Because.That you are children running all day in the yard naked, in the evening it is cold in the yard you will froze and then freeze sweaty on the street, and she will not think about dressing - she sits on a bench, she will take Bayadere for herself. Chance will freeze in the evening and forget for you and think, take clothes to wear you in the evening, when your father does not marry you, then there is no one else to dress you in the yard.

Infinitely get to the hospital and how long have you lived with me, only once you had a temperature because this drunkard Santa Turich opened the door to the room and did not close when I jumped from the summer kitchen into the room, and the door was open, and you had a temperature at the poster, and now to say that I caught you. I didn't babysit Vital, and why is he now 16 years old he has pneumonia, back I'm guilty.Aak can cook and cope with kharchev money, the current money, and the won equated 1956 that I coped for her 300 rubles, and now 30 rubles.Yes, even fed four people, wants to bite and deeper, but stronger, breaks teeth comrade Maria bites me by the back seat it stinks and you will not bite more, like a meticulous woman, I am silent, and she lets you know that a bad girl was, waited for a slap from a stranger’s woman and still spits like a gum in a bucket upstairs, swelled the quiet man.  It's badass. She's the one preparing me a place at the Nursing Home, okay? Okay? Well, whatever happens.

1981. Yura began to drink, back nervously babbling to what it will come to I do not know. Sivodnya 17.X1.81 Yura was part of walking before me, he did not go for a long time, and now he came somewhere took a kitinka, and there was nothing to feed, says his grandmother give borscht to a dog baby or chilly feed the dog he wants to eat, and he does not live with his wife, he does not go to work, he was called to the Army passes a commission, and put him in the Hospital in the hospital, and he orders not to go to bed.Anya's wife rarely sleeps at home, the apartment is gorgeous, they got it, and there is no one to live, she goes wildly wins out and she doesn't want to be in the Army, says that Plyvmmaniya Lekhki was recognized at that commission, and I have to buy a coward for a glass.

Father and mother want to catch him at home in his apartment, and he, although he does not open the house, lies drunk on the bed undressed, does not wake up on the banished bed he got lost and is very far from being able to make a curt. And here I am on duty, two o'clock in the morning, I can't calm down, everyone's thinking into my head.In the afternoon, his mother came fluoride once Sivdnya 18.Kh1.81 wants to see him, and he does not seem to see navid she went to the school in the military enlistment office asked where Kiselev Yuri Viktorovich four days we do not know where he is, I called back, disappeared to the hospital and the sobering-up, and to the morgue and to work and to the police, where is he?They told her to lie on the Stationary, and he is not there, when Vitya came to tell me everything I have a heartache worrying, and now, Yura himself appears on duty, and he was asked where you are from 13.X1 of the number 1981 lives that you have nowhere to find relatives and why do I find them? I immediately picked up the phone, just wanted to let them know, and he took my phone and started talking himself.Mother says I went to the military enlistment office asking where you were, taco-so scolded your mother on the phone, why you went to the military.  The military enlistment office asked, I did not know where you are, why you did not tell us Oshiba, and he answers her why you need me, like a madman, oh woe, I started Yura because you are wrong, she is your mother, her soul hurts for Tibya, he threw the doors and ran out to the yard, back sent the dog something to eat I said maybe you want to eat yourself? No, I don't want to, well, I have a job at Winigret.Sausage, sausage dog ate and bread and Winigret did not want, give Grandma borscht and where else I take it at work I did not cook at home, and he in one duda give borscht, I said Russian language no, tacon fucked the doors and more night the room did not turn.On fluoride day, I came back to that room and let some koutinenka eat well, you would have told the school that I would come for a dog, and I would have cooked, well, here's a potato with meat, so he knotted a can with food and fucked the doors knocked out of the entrance angry as a beast self-moving, but I went, and I came from the night, Maria and Victor where he was?We can't catch him, I just had nerves, they went there to his apartment, called, and he didn't open them, that's what's doing mind I can't do. He is already at the abyss of my grandson Yura, and I do not know how to get him out. Victor and Maria talk, his boss Mekeda Ivan Safronovich came directly to Victor's apartment, I'll kick Yuru out he doesn't work, the whole collection shames and through him the whole team is not rewarded.On Simoforno found some woman and is used to a dream, at first he went to the peasant older drunkenness for a lot and then found this Lyuda Pitrusenko when this mushchin went to Mikhailovka from Alcohol or Yura and there is no need for money in this woman. Women love those men who carry a lot of money, independent and such as Yura alcoholic women do not like.It's already four o'clock in the morning and I can't sleep. The bed is soft, warm, and there's nothing nauseous about it. My legs hurt in my knees, tied up with a woolen handkerchief to get my knees together and they twist, my throat hurt, ate from the refrigerator, and I got sick with nothing to breathe. Mary dreams bad dreams, and I too, yesterday I dreamed that I took a lot of green onions and brought home unknown why we dream such bad dreams.20.X1 at 5 p.m. Yura came to my house and attacked me where did the dog from the room, I say, Yura, you went mad, where do we have the key? Did you give it to me? The apartment keys? You didn't get it so cold you threw yourself on a mine like a fool, and he got out of his chair and left the apartment, I followed him with Jura.I know you're hungry and you've got nothing to eat to buy, and I know it's good to come back, and he stopped at the entrance and says, "Grandma's a slut."And here he is not at home not at work where he does not know, already Sivdnya 24.X1 Tuesday, looked near his approach to stand a car, Creed Bdka I thought the black Raven came after him, the ability of the fire pricked my heart, oh my God went to wear glasses came out on the balcony considered at that emergency car a little quieted. Finally: Friday, Maria tells me that Yurka went to the Hospital to investigate, I gathered myself and went to the Hospital before him, what do they do?Something is being tested, what happens next? Unknown. It's 1982. In reverse, such a story is called back to the Army by the commission of tests, otaka my son Yura as there is no money from him, so now independent as depending on his relatives and does not drink, and asks for cigarettes from his mother and in the movies, shameless creature brazen before me did not go to eat.When he was going on vacation, I asked him how many vacationers two hundred rubles were slapped on, so let's go on the way to get vacation money, when he went to eat before me, it turned out that the boss I. Safronovich brought him money home or gave it to him at work, and he for all two hundred squandered everything up to a penny, and his daughter comes to Grandma Masha, his mother and asks where our dad, and the devil's squash ate near the village of Borschevata, I said to get some dungs bought at least something.And, shoes, and two chairs, for vacation and he told me why I need chairs if I need something to sit down then I will go to Anina's room straight and sit down, absolutely not bought, all the money drank and even pay for forty rubles. Borrowish to drink and drink peeled off without a penny, slowly leaves Life and does not want to.  To understand, no grandson, no other, he was babysitting with a mitten, as they say, I would be proud if at least one grandson did some feat, but there is no one rostrum. When I Yuri said let's go to get money together, he told me my grandmother I will go to the village of Pavlovka to my mother's homeland and deceived me, and he appointed to which village not in Pavlovka but in Borschevate, where there are more Alcoholics.Lies like a dog for three days does not come home while drinking dungi Vitaly goes to the Crafts School, and there does not want to study, nor does Tioria not practice, he does not look at the Turner, as he does the detail does not want to do anything, if in the  “Zoreh” film club, he does not miss a single movie because it is useless for him in the School to do, where you will not kill time, leaves the lessons without asking, inherently independent with nothing, leaves the craft where he wants to misunderstand and someone is afraid. His height is 185 san., The young strong everywhere climbs into a fight.It is registered in the Pervomaiskaya police, was already in the sobering-up, paid three rubles fine from Mama dung does not give it to him in the Craft is due, from the girls already meets and he only sent the seventeenth year of 1982 in February.That's what my grandsons are not proud of one rotary, it seemed what my business is, but no, I'm a Grandmother, I have a restless soul Sivodnya I'm on duty, Subota as usual on the subota and Resurrection I'm on duty for the day from twelve to twelve Resurrection, when I went on duty at a high distance met me Mary daughter-in-law, she asked where you go?I told you to go to work and your sister to lie down at Menzhinsky Hospital in the ninth ward, inflammation of the lungs, But soon she will be discharged already well she knows that I am not born with her and she tells me all the details, I kept silent and went as I am offended by Maria ti well know that I do not want to know her, and she is that to play on my nerves, and she is nagging me, she knows that I will never go to the hospital or home for me she is turned off from life this sister Kolesnikov wasKishmareva, and I said I went for an injection and went to her. Yes, Maria T was in the hospital. Did she ever visit you? You're a lot of lickers, aren't you? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now one thousand nine hundred and eighty fluoride year Yuru back disturbed passing commission to the Army. Yura, how long did I go probably three weeks while drinking all the money two hundred rubles.vacation and pay 40 rubles., But yesterday came to hold his mouth, ask what you under the eye bruise, it turns out he was beaten by three gangsters and hit with an iron glove that the lip ruptured in the Hospital sewn lip swollen. I write my sorrows because I have been sick for so many years, but there is nothing to remember my experience after my life, just remembered my daughter, but I do not have her that her mother endured so much grief. The seventeenth of April 1982.Communist Subbotnik and yesterday I stayed up until two o'clock in the morning candle as bootts beckoned to sleep and I could not sleep as the thoughts climbed into my head here Yura what does and here and Vitaly here this may 2 the night at home Mary mother upset, came to me crying, where Vitaly, I say call the sobering up, Police, hospital, maybe he cut it, we both cry, in the evening I was not at home Natola note, Mom we came to you.Vitalka Nastolyl spent the night in the prison, I asked what it means in the neighbors? CPD? Craft or militia? They say the police, I was upset that I could not sleep back at night, talking to myself, swearing I live from them not so brightly, my God, if you are in the world orazumi of their grandchildren.Sitting next to the TV, I watch Fedel Castro speak, with such zeal proves his rightness for the people for their rights, for liberation and independence, how devoted he is to his cause and worldview, if everyone so cherished his homeland and learned how the power of the Will is given, how it is won by blood and tears, how the Poles raise feathers it seems, too, a lot died in the Patriotic War of the Poles, and in their country a lot of damp and in the Dov, as they soon forgot.Already, as the moss says, the hoodlums now dislike our laws and cause trouble, are being sent to the capitalists abroad to Washington, D.C. Probably this man did not see the bold zaiois, as they say in the Proverb, how we are people of the whole globe, where there was no war, I remember what passions and sufferings I endured, how much I saw destroyed buildings, sat without light.  Without water without bread, it is cold and hungry, and even a breast ribon on my hands, if the lice, I was then twenty-four years old, I had two children and they were given to eat and warm up, and the mine did not in any way eat naked and starving myself. Conquered by blood.12.U.83 I will snooze and make people with Hordes on their chests with ammunition remember their young years, in the war they were given awards to everyone, I was 24 years old or I do not remember, I would also fight like all nurses and other women, on the Kursk Bulge and everywhere where there were battles, our Troops picked up wounded soldiers and went to reconnaissance, served as cooks, in the Army in hospitals and everywhere, but I had 2 children and one was 6 years old and a reward.This is my infant, who is now 42 years old born on June 22, 1941, works in Murom Vladimersk region. Verbovsky village, head of the passport office, senior lieutenant of the police. I see rugs made of rags singing a song, stepping, my mother is waiting for a soldier from a fight like it was in 1942. On the front lines of the war, I climbed out of the trench after the fight.Our repulsed Novozvanovka from the Germans was strong, those soldiers when we fled to Blindage, the German soldiers pulled telephone wire, and another soldier took my ribenka and handed me to the Blindage, but I was afraid he thought he would shoot us, but without fear he did not touch us, after they occupied ours, how many people were stuffed after the battle, that the sheep lie after the pasture rest, the claps of the German radio station and Ours are still alive, and the wounded cry save the terrible trial.

Yesterday my son Anatoly sent me a letter and a photo from Siby. I'm looking at him, he's in the form of a police senior lieutenant of the stars on the pitchers put in front of him on the table and look at how many such young people  People died in the Patriotic War, starting from 41 to 45, and I do not see tears as soon as I pity children and relatives in general. Does the American leader of the country of Reigin have no children, or does he have a vein of srece, what does he think if he is angry himself on the Siba how does he think to live after the war when everything and everyone is burned?

1983. Well, that's what Grandma Jura said. The insurance company withdrew 600 rubles from the book. broke up insurance, drank: he divorced his wife from Anna yet to lose the apartment, and Anna wanted to do it but failed, he was left with the spruce not working for 6 months after that he got a job for 120 rubles. when he can earn 250 rubles. and more like a welder, got together with Lariska, she has two children and you think he will live with this larisk? Nope!She is a beautiful skinny blond eyes brown average height he got a job in Kochegarka in the LCD "Kattelny", and there will do the work and welder and what will make him sit on her neck, he pretended to be an angel because he only went to work, and how much did not work and nowhere is there, his father did not want him to live with Lariska, says go and live in his apartment, you are already independent.Tibe has been separated from us for 24 years, you have got married, you have your own apartment, and what went wrong with your first wife, then as you want to do so, we parents all forgive our children and feed them, that mother and father that I am a grandmother, and Maria gives salt, potatoes to where he lives, and to him this and nada.

Wednesday 10X 1982

Lyonid I. Brezhnev died in the radiant sad news, as my heart hurt, fear seized me, tears involuntarily poured down my heart, that the tipper wakes up, the frightening Crow of every Cust is afraid, it seems to me that it will be terrible, Dear man like Brezhnev is not fit to die, he was Lenin's deputy and showed all the good in our country, he traveled abroad, made peace and friendly relations between peoples for people and for ours and for foreign countries, all these days these music sound melody, zhuzhnev.Do not sit in a room, hands are not removed to do anything, and not only I, but the courtyard came out all crying neighbors after him, went to the store and there people are upset, say Brezhnev Lyonid I. He went abroad and won friendship between our people and people abroad with embraces and kisses, did not shoot weapons like Reigen, how many people die in Lebanon, Beirut, and chili, but Brezhnev walked along the Leninist path.

Third note

1983.Yura does not treat her own father well, resents her own father and her mother tells her you Goat on her father, you are a man, what it came to her, and the father says I am not a father, and you do not understand me the son of your own Father, and this is all vodka, six months later he entered the job he Lariski dengue will not give me more than I assure, and that Larisk will expel him, who wakes the Tunisian to feed, he will take his Vodka lariska, because he shields on his salary only as long as he wakes up bottles on these days.gee. What a pain. I probably won't survive, my nerves won't hold, and I'm my own grandmother. Sitting at a woman who has two children, also separated from her husband Sasha does not work anywhere, receives alimony from her husband and live on these alimony. Of course, they fight for the knuckle, she turns out to be drinking tooth, she has to live with something to eat, but Larisky has a mother living near her from Larisky who also drinks pretty much, but she came to Yuru drunk and drove him from Larisky.I went to see Larisky. Kids are good one 5 years old superfluous, and the other girl 6 years old, blond but merciless with such a mother. Yura undertook to be the father of three children, and he himself does not give a deal.

Yura terminated his Insurance and gives on harchi, and for work and in his mustache does not blow until he has served 6 months what parasite alcoholic we all say go to work, you sit. Wife Anna will put the Tibe for Aliment, and in response, he says that six months will not be put in this firmly stands, idiot where you came from in our family, I scold.With the first Wife divorced broke up not working for the apartment ek slosh to drive the idiot out of the apartment and after all the apartment is not so easy to get, until the turn came to wait a long time did not pay, I as a grandmother for his room paid for his room in 1982 debts 57 rubles, and he still accumulated, from October, and now 1983 February a month only shields for which months does not pay for his room shields until you get the money, and how I got that shields how much wakes Bootilek from the paycheck, and does not thinkbuy pants on the ass or shoes what boots or shoes, last year was on vacation, received a vacation of 200 rubles. sent to comrade Puzik Volodka in the village of Borschevate, lives near the village, and drank up to a penny, and received 100 rubles. also swallowed, I did not give a debt  I thought I paid him an apartment, I'm a fool myself, and I'm looking for fools, maybe Grandma Zhenya will make this debt. No, don't think, this is how my sibe Grandson Yura, who loves him, has been carved out of the mitten as the saying says that he does and does not know himself, after a divorce with Anka, sent to the village of Simophornaya Nassal Lyudka, drove out for Vodka.

1983. My birthday is November 1st. I invited my neighbors, my son, the Grandsons, and here Yura under my father wept that he owed a lot of debts, they say alimony for his daughter for the apartment, and even got debts for vodka, but the Father as a father became his pity for him and drank as usual at this time without Vodka not a walk, went out on the balcony in three, Father Yura and Vitaly, Father says I will give you money to pay for my apartment, how much debt? Yura was already working.In the morning, on fluoride day, Jura came to the Father after the promised one, so they said that he was asleep. Yura came to me from my father with a stinging insult, but the Father promised with such a resentment and happy became Yura of his life, you can say, and how much Thibe undertakes to prove it, and he himself is unjust as a bastard at all, on the fluorine day of November 2 in the morning beat the ZhKK.   No. 1 found out how much debt he owed his apartment that year, 1983. At six o'clock in the evening I came to my Father, give me money for the apartment, give me the debt to pay that you should not be, and how much you owe 48 rubles.My father told him you know very well that the money is paid to the miners on the 10th, Yura shagged the doors and ran out into the corridor and shouted at the whole ride, you don't want to promise what only the grandson is stupid, sent to his father, and his father from the night shift and back in the night. He was arrogant, and indeed the guilty Father owed him. You have a good father.  If you don't like him, you're an idiot, I tell him you're a daring bastard, he works alone and feeds Vitaly Menshy and your brother studies at the Crafts School and has not graduated from school, he married well, maybe he doesn't wake up to drink like that with peers, and Vitaly is already registered in the Pervomayskaya police one woe, and I'm my grandmother pity them.A hefty 185 m Blond gray-eyed, thin-looking good-looking boy ran out and he was only seventeen years old on February 1, 1966, the year of birth, sent the eighteenth but he will soon wake up to his child's father his wife Lyuda beautiful black-eyed thin thin thin-eyed mother and Father she has a thin, medium-sized mother, went only to work but the money she does not eat, and they buy that they are fed by the mother-in-law and father-in-law Kiselev, played a wedding, I clearly say Yuri.f with debts unpaid a lot of debts owed for the wedding, why did you stick to them, give father money, how insensibly looking for fools from the thibe were money Strahovka Why did you take them all off? Drink?And he drank, and the twitter blades to the Fathers, no, cut off the stub from the bread it is not tweaked, come to my relatives will give to eat well say saliva, and will not give and then well do not fuck my doors, and then I like to fuck the back, that thibe and the devils will take yesterday from my father, and the sievdnya from me, please sit down fluorically, but do not walk in the sky, but I do not sit down with such a hero, but I do not sit down from the sky.Alkotibe has a thin, short-sighted, medium-sized glasses, and even the pentless storage plivmania of the Lukhkhkhs says bad breath. I tell him to drink a lot of Vrlka, completely frayed, and the stomach will always be worn, and shabby.  urine then will not hold urine, that's when he remembers Grandma Zhenya, so wakes up, as in D.I. Ded Tyurichev, your Grandfather, that he nursed Tibe until six years old, and then gave his relatives where he fell ill with inflammation of the lungs and now careless and add Vodka if he did not drink and smoke, you would be healed and he tells me if he did not drink did not smoke and girls did not go to you well?He bites off, disobeys no one, not my family. You go to people to watch TV every day, and if you put bottles and bought it for 235, like I bought and watch, and the best friend in the room will hear everything and see and sensing, and the rest of the money for your needs, or you drank, Idiot you are such an alcoholic. I mean, I want to buy a Color TV, I say at Tib's Throat doesn't let you have a color TV pit? Go home.

1983. 5.H! comes to me hard so good-natured dear already lived with Lariska, brings a letter from her, she writes Grandmother Zhenya trumpet to us, we have nowhere to borrow money, my mother pays six rubles in all, Yurynaya mother has no impoverishment Dad hasn't got it yet. Jura in the cantora should have been left squeezing alimony income and still somewhere squeezed left in the cantora should twenty rubles, I have already got a job in the Kachanarka boiler room, lying in a letter.Nowhere did she lie like a dog, Lodarka does not want to work.Yura is so kind, let my grandmother wash the floors, oh my bunny I say you're such an unfortunate, well I think Sadis eats Bo, I know, he's hungry like the Wolf, well, that he wakes up to say we owe you already twenty rubles and could not give then from the paycheck and the tipper, when we get or Lariska will receive alimony or in the production she or I also breaks, they once one mother gave birth to both, then all at once will bring.Grandma Zhenya writes in the note if you can borrow us 15 rubles. please I got a job, and I will get the first pay or Yura advance we will give you immediately everything that we borrowed from the vps, but Yura and I are in such a difficult position that even in the loop help us, you will please not help except for you No one will not live and mine received a little more time, please help you all hope.Larissa. And how can you help me out here and make me feel sorry for their idiots and I'm Grandma, at a time like this to be hungry, such a productive year of 1984. All vegetables are fruits, apples are cherries. In green shops, everything has onions, potatoes, carrots, beets, garlic, pepper take  Eat for what? Take? Both lodari are reluctant to work, and all the money is drunk. I went to the green shop and took even the wet kavunas all there is, Lenin, said that he works and eats.Lariskin's husband to children father puts alimony regularly so she sits down and does not work, and now drunk, as now Vodka world, all people got sick from Vodka, and her husband Sasha was kicked out of work too for vodka was drunk at work, Alimentov ekta is not supposed to get anyone to live and here's the trumpet as she writes in the notes and I'm grandmother (underlined by Kiselyova) looked at what Yura hungry soul fed him and gave a bucket of potatoes, Bank liter Varnechyu, crushed fluff, buffy buff.Let them cook soup for her children, give her an apple fresh, let the children eat them, although they are not native to me, but my grandson will help, well, when I see his drunk, everything turns into middles and in my head the yaba burst into pieces, how stupid he became through this vodka. After a while, this woman left Larisky and got into a fight.I'm going to live in my room now I say well and live so live the breeding men alone with my father took him by the breasts you say insulted money so let's go, and the Father after all this did not give money, then he offended the drunk, although he does not drink, but on my name-day a little drunk a drink happens when guests or what a party, you cry that much owe for the apartment and in general. Yura nearsighted wears glasses like his mother, came without glasses to me where are the glasses?Rosbil fought Larisca. Why did you argue with the father of fools? You know the miners' paycheck since the 10th. I've already said so. Thibe has no patience not to pay off his debts, and I know the bastard to buy Vodka, and the fluoro tee must understand that Father Victor feeds four and a half people? So why offend?I'm telling him the same thing, yelling at me, it's not necessary to insult him, his throat burns after Vodka from the Father, one shadow from you assholes I'll bite your throat for the Father, you bastards from such sons, not helpers but blood suckers, but he fucked the doors and left. On fluoride day came back to me live near our houses, I fed him not to fool us, I drink my money, and look at my father’s money, why do you have such debt?Why didn't you work for six months? And you asked the Father how to lead a life as a parasite and you blame all your hardships on your Father Your Father is good at work honorable and like a seed good with his mother how many years they live and do not understand each other.As instigiously Lariska took him back to the Xiba to see him love, but he will scatter from her with his Vodka, which I and all of us grieve, I probably will not survive my nerves rotripled beyond where I can’t stand, and I’m a native grandmother. The victor is crying from his son and I'm killing my grandchildren, and I'm Victor's mother, I feel sorry for both of them.Victor 49 years old, Maria is endlessly sick with pressure, just full as a bomb in the skin is not absolved blooming and the health has no place to get sick since 1966 pressure, even her sugar doctors found seivode 12.X1 came Yura domain so good, I say in the Divan broke off the lead he took the screws and screwed, peeled off the linolium tiles he took and nailed the nails and nails as the ligbe held, the substitute was faulty he corrected, he welder and plumber No1 took the Cottle, he was taken in the Cottle.The fireman, from Burtsekh was expelled for Vodka-nu entered here in the LCD No. 1, it is good that although here they keep at work well performs all the work, but the cursed Vodka does not let her live, lives at Lariska as she lives but lives fighting. He came home to change clothes, Anya and Julia’s daughter were at home, calls Yulia his uncle, he was offended by what? You came to see me.  Says my daughter? I'm not saying your daughter has children Ruslan and Vita and my mother's birthday Sivodny taught her mom Anya and you did not congratulate her.  With my mother's birthday, of course Anya beats her father Yulia from jealousy. You do what you want, and you can't take your daughter away from the Father. In 1981, he was summoned to the Army, but he's in the hospital licking on the October research.  He did not, he disobeys nothing, and he himself, who wants to do that, sent a number so risky, and all this is the damned Puzko Volodka is already a welcome mushchin, and he removes a friend and listens to him as his own father sat for 10 years in prison, teaches meanness, sees what he wants and Yuri put on handcuffs, well, this year he passed the number and the next year he went back to the Hospital, he did not pay a check in 1983 and did not make a big absentee in the Hospital, his father told him to go and take the calculation, at least that he did not take it.on his own, for a long time did not go all postponed, and then he took the documents and gave for absenteeism thinks that the superiors are fools, in 1983 16.HP I broke my hand first day I did not go to the Hospital and then swelled my hand went to the hospital in Traumatology, recorded sent narengen x-ray showed a fracture of the right radius.Put the cast, and thank the nurses I went home, I thought why Dr. Chalyan he is not a Russian Armenian in the nation I was not sent to privatization in the hospital I go oh oh oh oh oh oh oh my hand hurts two weeks the bandage slipped, although the nurse told me to come in a month 17.1.1984.We'll take off the cast, and I went early, I came to Chalyan's doctor. I slipped the bandage to make a bandage, and Chalyan Vrvch of Traumatology requires a direction I said you didn't give me any direction even no paper did not give and then did not prescribe any licensure I tell him how?Yes, so I say, and I started yelling at me, I gave you, there are nurses sitting next to him, one of them made me a cast, here I show, and even in the room where the cast was put on me, the nurse helped me dress up, and the young medic apparently studying at the Doctor, there were two of them with this guy put a cast on me, and I went he yelled even more, I began to cry that you were yelling like Hitler?One of them began to search out the nurse book of records found and recorded a duplicate, and he continues to yell at me nerves of disorder I cry all the time, I say you are guilty, and you yell at me, if I'm old on what I need no attention not treatment put cast or go to hell and I'm sixty years old sent to the 1st office, and I savory went to the fluorine doctor he immediately noticed that what happened why you cry yarno said so and so gave this Duplicate paper, he'llaI didn't trust the nurse sitting next to me, I made a dressing soothes me for Chalyan. Chalyan is older than him, already an elderly black, tall Armenian, swearing at the muzzle of the Nerussian himself guilty, and yelling like hell, he did not appoint me to the plates in the mud hospital this young doctor looked at the plump hand of the patient appointed me to have, the people indefatigably say to work on it.In the mud hospital Paraskov Iosipovna appointed paraffin and hot Vanni, and physical culture to develop a finger brush, like ten days a tumor and slept, but in the mud clinics got a problem, the fireman broke through the boiler, left the grapery already that wakes up to one rostrosty hands long hurt.For a long time I have not been to the children of Victor, I received a pension went to pay for an apartment to the post office near almost live They went to the children, my daughter-in-law sees not satisfied with the look of my hut here she began to die in the room, and there is a lot of dust on the floor, I thought two women in the room, and such dust and Yura forced to vitruhija litter. All right, that makes a man's hands stronger than a woman's, and Mary took off.  To sweep the room and I said when I leave then sweep, and you want me to sweep out of the apartment so, say in the people, when a stranger came into the room, then the inadmissibility to sweep means sweeping me out of the apartment, but even though wet at least Venik, and then the saw flies down the throat and on the walls and she in response to me do not indicate yourself know, and if you know that you notice that dry broom dust, I realized that she was sick of my daughter-in-law, that I came all across from me, probably told me that she was scared.I went up and went to the bedroom and looked at the great-granddaughter of a lesser son, one of them occupied the bedroom of Vitalka with his wife Lyuda, and one of them, and offered an apple Lyuda did not want to take, says we have.I dressed up and left with such resentment that I cried and hit the doors and went out, I have no right to say even a word from my son because I am not a maid, but my mother she smacks my head after me hitting me, I would warm up the cakes smacking after to take my eyes off, before my daughter-in-law Lyuda, I said eat yourself you have already fed me the salvage will not go down my throat, such my old age, my infirmity is unnecessary to her and there is no one over my life, and there is no one waiting for me, but my housekeeper.I'm useless, and my sons are good. 12 o'clock in the morning, the grandson of the Jura I was already asleep Grandma opened the door comes Jura Grandma pour 100 grams. Vodka, I said no. I'm afraid he's gonna show a cut in Vienna, but not a fresh wound. I got a guest knife. I got scared. I'm going to cut my veins. I got more scared. I poured him 100 grams.He's drunk, I think he'll suck up in fear so he won't stab me, but I've started scolding him, I don't know if I'm scared, why are I crying, I'm asking the Nevo that there's no apartment?Or there were not enough wives already, and ten more found at Poozyk Volodka learned to cut Vienna all brothels to do, out of the hut and pushed out the door, go and cut in the yard as much as the bloody bastard wants, the hand from the fracture hurts, and the soul even more, and provided for the whole night I will suffer insomnia, all night thought for the field, because I am my grandmother. She worked in Burcekh from guard guards, things are going well at work and worked at home since 1966.20.USH and retired 1978.04.23 worked ten years in security and here was a case brought paint to this organization in Burcech for repair cantors of the floors when brought the paint folded it in the pass room in the telephone and the office at night was locked, the pass was in two rooms, in the first room conductor Dispatch and guard, and in the first room of the voftor telephone operator in the cotator, here is the paint and put side by side one can on another in a drawer of cans and the tenth was put on the side, in the morning rushed to takeI don't know how I grew up in a place of paint, a red brick is laid, and so this man sits next to a dingy Dispatch and still occupies such a position stole paint it was in my night shift what insolent woman this Ivy Pasha, Thief will not say not caught not Thief, and scold who? Watchman, where the can of paint was waving, I'm worried, everyone scolds me.In these years, what is missing from the watchman is not sought out, and to  They'd be sitting penniless on a missing watchman. They called me in. Burtsekh Matsenko Nikolai Kupiryanovich was scolded well, the number went.Autumn went potatoes for the organization of Burtsekhovuy for the workers came very late at three o'clock in the night, I was on duty opened the Gate and drove a truck and not one, but two who went for potatoes, the supply was Shcherbak Alyksei Grigorievich and drivers Yukhimenko Volodya and Livytsky Tolik are drivers of large cars, Shcherbak on the drilling driver for barrels and Squazhen, and I am a watchman.Shcherbpk says put the cars in the garage and go to bed home guard reliable Gregoryevna this watchman sleeps all his nose walks, well guarded.True, I walk all night long so that there would be no theft I think at home splurge during the day, and in general countless nights three days at home, this is our duty one day on duty fluoride day at night and two days at home I tried to work Honestly because I hope there was no one, but this very Despatcher Rpsha let me down as they say under the playground on fluorine duty I was forgotten at night what was the month and the date, I go to the yard although I was terribly afraid of the yard, but I got used to the water 10years when I just started to work I was very afraid of every rustle cried night with fear I look something climbs into the car and the car Kraz big Volody Sokolkova was carrying large loads I came to the car at night and said that here climbs in the car and he raises his head, there was a driver, Zinchenko laziness to you chi nada I say why you climb in someone else's car, you're bad when your car will climb Chivo? Rlojo?So let's leave the hellish mother, and he in response to me, I'll give you both a mantage and eyes to pop out, I left the car thinkaoa guy a big arrow will give a mantage to the head and I'm not there and he's a vulnerable defendant turned out to be as I found out at the ambassador, I don't know how much but sat for fuluganism his relatives refused him on the prospect of people, I'm chamele - quickly began to tell the Manager Dyakov Anya on duty a woman with a hump of gray eyes, staring at me.Don't let Grigorievna go to the cars here and tomorrow if anything disappears from the Machine, we'll miss this damned Bandit, but I should call the Guard to punish him, but I listened to the Dispatchman Anna Dyakov. In the morning, the workers of the chauffeur came from Sakalkov Volody and took the keys. I came up and said that I was climbing by his car.In the night, it is difficult for fluoride duty in the daytime I was on duty and went to the garage to call for the phone of the head-gar Ivan Makarovich Cherevko, an adjunct full brown-eyed kind soul and while I worked there was no office just started to build for the garage bosses, he was in the first Box and there were two boxes.I called him and I myself go near the pit near the machines and find a purse of blue color with a small pooty I picked up and put in my pocket, not to take advantage of the find but to someone who does not wake him up to say his flower.  My hand is in my pocket, and I'm telling you, did you lose your wallet? There were chauffeurs under the car repaired cars, immediately looked at me a lot of eyes, oh says one of them Grigorievna is my purse, I ask what color and hand in the pocket, blue correctly pulled out of the pocket.  a he says yes there is money one three and there three hours he watchmaker still earns at home, two gold and one simple strangers all; because I correct people took and lost, I gave this purse and said for this you make me a breech for my watch or they are bad winding up, oh yeah make dear Grigorievna; and even here you empty bottles of wine take away, you will be given money to the admission point, go what?  Take bottles, just so that the boss did not see, this Zakharchenko Anatoly watchmaker, a small stature to see from dwarfs, and he forty-five years made a burlap to my watch, I took a bottle from the shed and put a bucket in the Phone room was as I now remember the subota and the Telephone player rested Zina and went to the podvor to go check the post I am the watchman, I come to the passage, and my Dispatcher with whom I was on duty Pasha Ivyushch coincided this day with her on duty, began to be jealous.Why did the clapzi give me bottles instead of me?I did not admit what and who gave me, but as usual gave me a driver empty bottles of vodka go Gregoryevna pick up the bottles in the bus or in the garage, truth be told, I lived with bottles build here for me and supplements to the salary and my salary I put a savings book and this Pasha took my bucket with bottles and the fence of the water house was fenced off garden I was nervous and scolded her, and, and, oh, I was not given away and TIba She was selling bottles and she needed it so much, and she needed us.Rili is always picking on the wrong things. One day my sister Nyusya  I just picked up the phone and she hit me on the phone and didn't let me talk to my sister. We had a little fight with this Pasha, here's two phones, you say on that phone, take information from the Boerovs, and I'm on this that you've been wrong before when we were on duty together, we're always going to quarrel over my robotic coat and threw it over the fence into the garden, which was near the entrance there planted flowers for beauty.I took my coat down in the Passage, the next duty began to take the shift morning I in the shift morning morning in the common day and the guard went home only said that everything is fine and fine so in order and I went by myself I noticed the post broken glass in the cantor window window window window window window window window window window shards immediately returned necessary post to her Manager Pasha, she was in the night and in the morning morning morning morning morning morning morning morning morning morning morning morning morning sunrise said the case of your window broken let's go, the keysWe went to the cantor because there is also the cash register, although the sivodnya is squeakristened, and the keys are, the office leaves the keys for the weekend and in general, at the pass at the Dispatcher, the window is broken not in the cash register, but in the Red Corner, they came to open the cantor inside the window broken, and equip the whole only open what is this? In the Red Corner in the corner lie a compartment of papers, on the paper lie the stone, which in the passage was placed in the place of paint jars red brick, a.Oh, I think stop. I was wrapped up like the proverb says, and keep quiet, but I think it's the dispatcher's case Pasha her work is so slightly taken here in the Red Corner closed the office of Burtsekhovskaya, and I think what should I do? Call who? No need to call Burtsekhovsky first. I will call Nikolai Kuperyanovich first, and then to the Guard. Nicholas K.Here are things like this, the change of the sutra My Resurrection Kiselyova, took permission from the Nevo, he told me not to call the Guard, but I disobeyed him and called Sharovarov’s chief guard Nikolai Stepanovich. Pervomaisk my immediate boss came from the security, the local Taranenko Nikolai Grigorievich and Shchedrov Vladimer Vladimerovich young Rusya handsome parine, my check posts at night.Taranenko disabled Fatherland War full blackhead of medium height without one leg on the prosthesis, breathes hard asks what shook up here broken in the cantor window I took a shift at the watchman Pyliustkova Evdokia she did not tell me and I myself discovered in the morning when I took the shift, she did not want to court the post and immediately went home she was handicapped childbearing middle-aged black woman, did not notice that she had a broken window in the cantor, in the Red-Red.And I found out after the delivery of her, onpa went home well, what is taken? I don't know I say how nicely I protect outside and in pardon never went to the Red Corner, the authorities from the security left after the administration of the Guard, came the nach.Matsenko ShPU Nikolai Kuperyanovich in the morning shouted cantora, we went in three, I Dispatcher and he did not understand what was taken, the boss says bring in my office Receiver, the receiver was in Krasnoy-Uglka, we with my dispatcher took and brought in his office receiver, she sees trembling all on her no face pale, even mosss police. Pasha's generally lean series of eyes of average height average soaking went to start. Matsenko N.K. Home.On Monday I should go on duty at night, and in the afternoon I went to security to receive a salary, received money, and I am told to come before the start. Guards Sharovarov N.S. Well, Kiselev was stolen in the cantor? Don't know. I came to work on duty in the SPU, I am told by the employees of the cantors, Grigorievna was taken from the windows in the Red Corner, I asked what they are?White stripes with yellow stripes are wide, stall staple such as in the Passage, only in the Passage Ro, and in the Red Corner are uncut, rough beautiful, said the Accountant I went to Donetsk and there I bought for Kantora. Antonina Vasilyevna is a big, blond, fat-footed, blue-eyed woman.When we quarreled with Pasha, she always took the keys and in the middle of the night she goes to open the office and climbs in drawers in tables, and I do not allow her, she says what your business is, now if you do not leave Cantora I will call security. Not in the office like in the fur shop,  Or whatever welding shop, or the garage, at two o'clock in the morning, she screams and Shastaet and I told her you're not going anywhere on my shift. At night, I am otherwise groaning, and I will sit in any workshop until the morning, then she jumped in my shift and did not climb anywhere, slept in the Passing Rush for the whole passage.Once I came to the stage as a gentleness to her soul pretended to be like an Artist, I have a soul chatting for stalls and for paint I guessed but not caught not a thief, I tell her what we are fighting, sit next to one table and swear endlessly and started a conversation of this kind, returning to such a topic.You know my birthday wakes up, I'm lying to go to her house to see, I'm wearing a bottle of moonshine, and she's talking right away, she's changing her tone, come before me, I'm gonna sell it to me, and I think I'm nada, and I knew she was the one who took off the stalls as a con artist. I jump to her comes out the door opens, invites a mine to the apartment 5-tier house she lives, I go in and moonshine smells like hell, and I came in  And I sing about moonshine, but now I'm not racing you and in villages and in places I sing, and she laughs, standing in the hallway and then in the kitchen to see whether the stalls are here or not I may be mistaken in her two-room apartment lives with a daughter in two, I went into the bedroom as you were looking, and on the window those stalls that she shot in the Red Corner I almost fell down and even pinched beautiful clothespins, I said nothing.I took a bottle of moonshine and I went home and I was thinking about talking to the boss, what a brave con artist, I should be quiet for the time being. There was a duty repeatedly together.In the buffet, the workers of the Bur-Tsehovskie fed, the shipwash of the Flood of Paradise, the woman of high stature full of her cheerful face always smiles, I hired her to work on the advice, here in the vault, first in the guard, and then in the Kachanarka Kachagar guard in the courtyard in the Administration-passer, the heating season ended, she went to the dining room-Buffet shipwash and remained forever until she retired.Supply wash gave me, my dog waste home macaroni Sharika little dog all day Min is not at home, she is hungry, and in the evening I feed her castrol was in my bag Pasha climbed into my bag before me and saw what and how much has given the shipwreck waste lyzhba scoff, that's how this dog that the farm in the Bur-Shop doll is useless to give, and Grigorievna a full castrol put macaron, raised a noise, and then I went to head. Matsenka N.K.And she said that Pasha Grigorievna had seen Parters at the Dispatcher's, and Pasha was on duty that night, and she took them home, and I don't know why they didn't go to pick them up, and they hung some pink scallops on the windows. In general, the Bur-shop was very poor materially.  There was everything in the pantry, and Dublenka coats, men's fur and receivers, and good materials.Pasha found out that I told Chief Matsenko for Parters, the next duty coincided back with her, but I am sitting next to her, and I walk around the yard, there are cars nearby a lot of this Department of Machines Lekhkov trucks, Bobics, dumped busses gaski will include a lot, I say the phone call is distributed even to cars too much, and she sits on the benches on the pass and does not pay attention to phone calls, phone calls and calls me can not come up she rushes like a snake, I think about it.He's talking to the phone, and he's pulling the car out of the car. Matsenko in a tracksuit on a Lehkovich’s passing car, Matsenko himself is not very tall, a sloppy black, thin-skinned mushchin, how he attacked her, and why the hell did the sitch in the yard start scolding her?I call the SPU for an hour and a half, and there is no one to answer and leave work immediately, silently Pashka knows that she is guilty, and then responded, fifteen years was good, but what a hell of a good thing was, Burovaya always stole when there worked Junior all lost things you stole. They found things from you, they complained about you, and the typist took you to the Dispatch to work, so there's no one to take you to work as a Dispatch, and the typist in Cantor got into the Parters, and I was on a drilling crane?Yes, the bitons were lost in nothing to bring water for the workers to the Burovaya, and the moonshine was paid by the Bears, and she stole the gold watches from the workers, she stole a fluffy scarf from Matveevna, she worked as a Dispatcher, a full-faced blonde woman with a sid, already old from Grigorievna stole hammaches and Mtareshka scarves, there is a thief.I'm the boss calling me from all over, from Donetsk The manager of the house calls Kachan give me the information of the drills, and you're a bitch of no attention, on the workshops at night in a stupid night Lazish Shukaesh something at 2-3 o'clock in the morning at the cantore everywhere the chastaesh watchman tell me, there's a father's creature worthless, keep silent as the waters of the gate dialed, and insipidly remained to work until his time before the transition to retirement only three months and afterwards to me, and you Grigorievna why did not answer in the telef.him.I began to tell him how she didn't let me to the phone I say called my sister from the Hospital and she didn't let me talk, was on the phone and shouted over the phone We're going to quarrel with her and I don't go to the phone I'm more in the waterhouse we quarreled with her for bottles empty jealous that I Zakharchenko Tolya gave me bottles, and she's supposed to pour moonshine and soak in the Office of the burger, and nothing, but Matsenko knew that she was engaged in self-breating, but did not communicate.It was almost like the moonshine with her. You will not be able to walk in the wilderness and in the wilderness.1979 There was another case at the work of my duty, I go to the farmhouse at night, I tear up in the car, I go to Sasha Taranenko the driver from the 79th bus number one I have already forgotten the bus, here I write everything I remember, why do you climb in someone else's car, and he tells me go Baba Grigorievna or I warm up so you don't recognize yours, but I thought I was afraid to leave and scold him.In the morning, the drivers jumped, this car Driver Voloshchenko IvanYu his name was a gypsy he is in the nation of gypsies, a black, beautiful brown-eyed, I told him if something was missing then ask Taranenka Saska, he opened your dump truck, before duty in 1976 I was in the hospital just came from the Hospital went on duty was my shift, nada was to go.Doctors found stones on the kidneys lay in the Hospital for eighteen days I walked all night like a bayonet, and in the morning I walked around all the cars the farmstead twitched at the handles, in the morning it was already blooming, the water house sat down on the entrance hall on traps and threw my head behind my back and I don't know how I fell asleep and snorted, my mouth was red-bone, the night is sleepless Pasha the dispatcher swept near the entrance hall is already blooming, and I hear this Sasha Taranenko through the sleep with Grigoryev and keep it with time.Capturing from the dump truck 29th Voloshchenka Ivan in the car and sat down and went for a change of morning to build from the night, the changer was his bus Chicken Nikolai on both worked on the bus 79th each other replaced, now he has already died who is not Chicken Nikolai alive. At night, two buses were on duty, people were transported to the Drilling Workers Kostyuk gene came from Burova.  "Bulavenka" and when I passed by the bus Genkin in the morning before dozing on the passing morning, by the handles of each car pulled he Genka Kostyukov sat in the bus wrote for the second time in his vouchers and said that Grigorievna check? Yes, this is my profession I laugh, you yourself climb in the buses, and then steal the tool and throw at the guard, I went to the passage from the car.Sasha Taranenko did me a dirty trick for the fact that I once caught him in someone else's car from Ivan Voloshchenko. At eight o'clock in the morning, workers came to work from the shops and from the garage and the cantors and I changed at seven o'clock in the morning and went home, only they came home to call. I'm jumping in and here the guards called the bosses to write the Act, my God.The management of the Bup shop near the garage, I come across him saying he is such a good watchman Kiselyov Grigorievna and what could happen, because she never sleeps at night, and the authorities, and from the security here, when we check it is always on her feet, says Vladimir Vladimerovich Shchedrov, the precinct, how many times we took her with an honorary certificate, and gave a ticket to the Holiday House.In the entrance hall of the chief engineer Trufanov Peter Andreevich Burov, I go and I, like Grigorievna how it turned out, I told him about the cockroach Sasha I avenge that I caught him in the truck No. 29 Voloshchenka Ivana he at night took the car keys and broke the clutch and got a big scandal, but you did not report from the authorities clearly? I just scolded him and told the driver, like, so and so, do I have to tell him what he's stealing?At the scephalus in the morning twitched the handles from the car checked the post and Senla on the pass is already well seen, and you know I'm from the Hospital of the cheer, and there give the liquor I drank and still not passed that lyric from sleep I was so tormented on duty not sleeping, and night is the night when I before I once did not sleep on duty and then in the morning dumped, he warned me to take revenge on me, ask Kostukova Genka, when I was checking the handles of the car, I cried so much for the award that I was so commendedYou security? Certificate of honor? For what? And I did not watch out for my thief. But I didn't get fired. The act was insisted by Ivan Makarovich Cherevko to put into effect. But Shchedrov V.V. my inspector and Nach. Sharovarov N.S. and even the local Taranenko N.G. began to insist on breaking the act and broke, Cherevko I.M.I gave from the pantry chicken and parts that were stolen overnight from the dump truck No. 29 Voloshchenka, how many tears I then poured out and the reader will understand that I am nervous and not restless I continue to work, I have no husband, they hope I have no one to endure everything, and even the patient, I go to Babka disappears almost every day, I pay for the privation from the advance of three rubles.And from the payroll of the rub., What can I say, if I can help my father, I jumped attacks. I took the transfer from where and retired from security.

2.U.84.I sit there knitting rugs and remember for my sister Vera how she hates me and we are sisters with her, and I should think, on my own sister that I was with her husband close, recaptured my daughter, and my niece Ala and my son that they were a sombre unbirth of course if anything is true then of such an aunt is known as naught, because all this lies are just hatred of me from childhood in vain, and I am offended to lose consciousness what a daring sister, we were little jealous of me.We say that you love her mother, and I'm not grown up to be jealous of the fribes.Aolos are curly natural curly, well, I'm innocent that you're thin and I'm full married back jealous of Sasha's husband, she thinks he's good for her and I'm her husband, rudely speaking, he'll say I need my own, I've shielded him for my brother because we've killed both brothers in the War, and I'm gummy up to them and her nerves, I've blindly ignored, oh, what a stupid sister I've got, says Nucy don't let Zhenka go to me.zu I stopped going to the hospital when I cried. I'll tell you that she caught me with her husband at the scene, she came from the hospital. When?So I didn't say so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, oh, you stupid crazy damned sister, as soon as it hurts to the loss of sucking, who will read this manuscript, who will understand what a creature she is unconscious, how much I suffered, I, to endure and this is so sick I said and swore if I was with your husband let me attack syphilis, and if you creature brushes on me, let thibe attack syphilis on the tongue, my grief she experienced before the light bulb she did not take into account.Sistra Nyushu was buried by a wolf who didn't get drunk living with her husband how much money she and he have for books, although he worked, and she didn't work all her life as she got married for a day and didn't work anywhere. Once Sasha started a conversation with Mary, why the mother of your mother-in-law does not talk drowsy, well, let them quarrel with Vera, and moreover, I am a hundred not talking.Maria says I don't know your case, she said that my mother-in-law said that I saw such sons-in-law as Saska Namusore, and says that? That's what your brother-in-law says to me. And at home he is proud that his wife is jealous to his sister-in-law and this is one rostrodzhiy. 12.U.1983 my grandson is going to go to the Army on 15.U warned the military enlistment office calculated quickly received a calculated 135 rubles.I'm like a grandmother's soul hurts, he doesn't come to the room, heard through people went to the cantora in the settlement department I ask? Kiselev Yu.V. calculated or not? Yeah? Answers. Plumber Kiselev Yu.V. calculated, already an elderly woman Tableshchitsa. And how many bills did he get? And she said everything, I think then that's why he doesn't say everything before I drink. I came out of the cantora. I saw from afar the shol with a friend both myopic glasses.I called to Shiba and asked him for the money he had borrowed from me to drink. And Roja, drunk like a dog, crooked I-would kill-b with my hand became stunned what to do after him? While I ask the Shibe myself while I thought about it, and he and his friend sparkled until he thought it was too late and fled behind the house, I lost him. I returned to the office of the LCD No. 2 I turn back to the clerk asked how many Kiselev Y.V.She took a book that was already another young woman full, Masha, and said he owed 80 rubles. Masha the payroll lady says, he was an una Sivodnya and left the book of the tenant and said that I would come now I waited and he did not, and so went with such as they say, he could deceive them on this capable, and so he did not come and remained due for the apartment, I told his mother my daughter-in-law. My mother paid for it.In 1984, he went to serve in the army building-bat and there he got drunk and fought and sat on his lip, I do not know how many days the woman with whom he met after his wife, Lariska, he said letters to her, and I write to Grandma Zhenya, my dear came to me three rubles put in the canvert. I visited my son Anatoly in Murom, Vladimer region, and from there I sent him and Sergei, my son Anatoly’s grandson, ten rubles each.Sergei got the money and immediately let me know he was in the Kryvyi Horn of Dgnpropetrovsk region in the Army. Yura did not receive the dengue of the fact that he was put in the hospital Chernigov cold bronchi, and serve st.Yanov Chernobyl district, and here I write him a letter do not take away from the Army or they will count him for a deserter and roast like a dog, I write from Mayday at home I came from Murom what power you have to wake up if anything happens in our country you will not even bring a comrade in time of battle or where you will go to the search and he is wounded, and you will not be able to help your goods out of trouble, because you are a young man 25 years old and you have no strength to drink everything, and die because of your Vodka. 1984.I went to my son Anatoly in November and stayed two months I saw how they live, how my son Anatoly lives, I was last time in 1968, it took a long time, it seems 17 years Sergei was born in 1964 on October 4, and now I live a month with fluoride, what kind of air there is a forest, in the forest the building of a window house goes into the forest pine trees look at the windows of breathless inspiration still lived.But the gristle of the daughter-in-law with his son is tired, it is not a matter of how in the morning the daughter-in-law will not be groomed so in the evening In whose working day it turned out to be a full day they do not see each other nada-b will be bored and admire, and she sharpens him like iron. That's how we always do.Murom is fed from Moscow musk beef venina, went to her aunt Masha in Moscow took Vidro for meat and already skimped and calls come to the station Murom to meet me and from Verbov order to go receive a telegram 137 train and Vagon 4. Anatoly took a police car, he works in the police senior Letenant, in general, the station of Murom drove up to the station.eighteen kilometers were riding smiling and having fun, it's the station to drive from the left side and put the car, and the driver drove by order of Anatoly closer to the 4th car, and we were tired with Anatoly and she's sitting daughter-in-law Nina drive me on the right side set the principle and sits down with her chauffeur forced to lead where she wants to sit sits out of the car, and then tired and had to go to this car, and we were already standing in place of the chauffeur.The principle of character does not concern the driver or us. This is the character of my daughter-in-law, the fluorine son of Anatoly’s wife, met Aunt Mary with meat and things, she bought herself an autumn coat in Moscow, she is an elderly woman of middle age, black with average height.Arrived home mother Evdokia Petrovna says Anatoly eats a lot of meat sausages, and I said that the mattress and works for it to eat and on your dependency does not sit, he brought what salary two hundred and thirty-five rubles. And you also feed yourself in the winter, because you don't want to sit at your house in Chadayev's Village, and you didn't like this conversation.  You can only talk to them, but I should keep quiet? Nope? And we had a big talk. naftora  The day was Thursday yesterday Anatoly said I'll go to a meeting in the city of Murom tomorrow I cleaned up the room in the morning and as usual Anatoly comes home from work at one o'clock in the afternoon, and works poorly from home their separation of the police I made breakfast patties potatoes and he means. Absences from Verbovsk, also in Murom, from the meeting went to the dining room all, and also had a curtoma and was not home to have breakfast.I came from work Nina's daughter-in-law at six o'clock in the evening and I take and tell Anatoly for some reason it was impossible to have a breakfast, but I did not know that he himself was at the meeting, and she knows well that he travels to the city of Murom on Thursdays here she rushed to swear, he was not at home together, I was told at work that he with some Ishol around the city in general came up with herself that such a jealous affair would not scandalize. I told you to stop throwing tantrums when you said, what are you?Or are you the director?What attention is there on the tib, satish makes boxes, curtail please don't grow up yourself, and I'm nervous; I'm all cold-blooded telling her you don't know what he walks untruths say it's all lodges, here you equated to a neighbor to call her Zhenya has a husband and two children, a neighbor came to Anatoly in the room let's go invite to the siby that I miss the Tsvetrovskaya TV at home, and they have black-white, Anatoly closed the apartment and sent to Slavka to sit down to watch her.This is the moment when they call Slavka to work, I don't know who Slavka works for. I didn't ask Anatoly.Anatoly says I sit in the chair as I sat at Slavka, and the neighbor Zhenya from the daughter of a ten-year-old sits on the Couch watching a movie, the neighbor is a beautiful woman I myself saw them, and my daughter-in-law was a beetle in the eye, my daughter-in-law came from work Nina, and Anatolia is not from the neighbors, as she went to the neighbors and rushed to Zhenya tore on her robe. My daughter-in-law is praying.I say too woman, and lived with husbands I had two of them, they cheated on me, but I find out the truth and then swear or divorce, and this I still did not see in advance does what a characteristic woman to the Husband, here you interrupted to the driver's liquor, that took us from the station Anatolia to include us, we walked with you breathed air before the evening, and then went to work for Anatoly to go home, in the separation was sitting Volodka the driver to tell him the wrong comrade.The car was taken from you. The rights of the police, gai, and the ashes of us, when we came he didn't stop saying to bail out the rights and the price we went ahead with her and they were left behind, you see Mama says Nina, he agrees to some woman to walk, what do you think I'm saying, Anatoly has a sore intestines, heartache from chivo and replenished you gnawed him like a jirga iron griese and she answers me, and what do you feel sorry for him?Well, how is he my son, an independent seed, does not smoke does not drink, does not cover with a mat you learned his character weak and drive as you want to immobilize, do not sleep, and carry the character to change, and since this is where this character is born, nada completely disassemble, and then swear to bomb.He always served in the Army in Murom, then he was still a child as a red girl and when you got acquainted with one of the lungs, the thibe was twenty-three years old, he was still a calf as a woman, they married him, aunt Anna Petrovna worked in the Military Town as a hairdresser and introduced him to the bait of a guy, you were sick with one lung all Chadaevo knew, and you rushed the boy to the roommate and married Nina, and he did not see another woman and then the child stayed, he was detained.Anatoly was still serving, rather they wrapped the guy, and they wrote me backdated, come to the swiba, and she was already played like this. I don't need to be there when the pile is played.An empty trace of a dummy, a proverb, a daughter-in-law from the praying and even married in the Church in general, a daughter-in-law showed a letter when I had them in 1984 November and December in which it was written by the father in which they were crucified, the village I forgot how to call what they were married, from Chadayev they prayed to the god they were crucified, and for the church they covered with katsapas, that the begging fool Anatolia wanted too much, the fool in the form of Anatoly, the same fool wrote in a letter to Anatoly, which he wrote that he was a fool.Is it true that officers are fools, he was an officer in Apmia, and now he is a senior lieutenant at the Militia, as many as he studied, and graduated from ten classes, and in Pervomaika he studied as agitators, and as a machinist Elektrovoz.  And in Chuvashia, I studied for the rank of officer for the police, are there fools who work, and to whom you show this letter because I am not a neighbor and not a passing woman. I'm a mother, right?And I think my son lives a normal life, he came here a stranger married and no one needed, no one and complain from such a cruel wife and her mother, Mother is an elderly woman and even prays to God on her son-in-law, imposed a resolution like a fool, mother in large letters I know her undercover, what are you fooling him?I broke my patience, I began to argue whether you were his oblique creature swearing great, if he wants to go drowsy in the first-mike home I have a corner for my son, but he did not want to, well, maybe he came to his senses in his youth looking for a woman, and quit because you are impossible in life, and then he came to his senses because the son was born, and changed his mind not wanting to orphan his son, and to live in your life I could not live you impossible woman not badly you sat for 23 years, while you found a father and a wifeIt is a creature that is sick, and what is impossible. He said I didn't know it was a soda lung, and I saw it slanting in one eye. It was Nada and forget Tibe Nin what happened, he's a jumper for 43 years, and Tibe 46 years old what the hell is his jealous almost to the pole raving and not knowing what.True, she did not materially offend me, but marally I almost lost my mind there. Hurry send me home. I can't live in such hell. The children were going to walk in them, sang songs danced to music. She gave me ten meters of sassy, covered me with bed, shoes, a night shirt, took a ticket for the Ugoroga, although she sold jam boots for 70 rubles.As the mother of her mother-in-law, she is a stranger to Anatolia's mother, and their mother is dressed and shoes and even fed in the winter, Anatoly escorted me to the station Murom and I left with a sick heart and now I have arrived at home, and in no way restless. And I described everything to their grandson Sergey in the Army where he served, he must have been offended for my frankness to him.I did not congratulate with the international on the eighth of March such a plaznik for Women It took a little time and Sergey probably thought about it and wrote me a letter that couldn’t stand the injustice of his mother he knows her well how calgatous she is.Anatoly sent a letter after my departure from them, that my mother as you garugal her became a completely different person, changed her character to him, we are waiting for Sergei from the Army 28.Sh was the order of the minister, and I, as a mother, am still experiencing trouble in seven of my sons indifferent to this whole scandal.I wrote Sergei the whole truth about how they of aunt Anna married his father to a siba and the typist fools the Father as she wanted to have a ribok (although there is no nibut), she was a sick girl, and everyone in the village knew that she was sick.Muroma his father Anatoly and introduced and when the swiaba played and was born you were too late to refuse but not from his character, he is like a woman with a soft character Father, it told me everything uncle Sasha Aunt Marusi Husband he had already died and poisoned with acid at work in the workshop.

Says Nina, why is Uncle Sasha calling so dissatisfied to dislike me, but because you are an anti-world woman, Anatolia shields for a rag at work, he is fair and has merit, enjoys authority as an officer. At home, while going to work, he makes a breakfast and lunch at once, washes the dishes himself, irons and wipes the floors, and then goes to work what other husband she has nada.Saying I don't like him, and what the hell are you doing, take your things and go where you want Sergei to live, grow up the Army left, and the tweaker left to marry and that's all. June 22, 1941 Anatoly was born on the day of the war sent him a telegram and the answer did not congratulate him on his birthday.

I think he has a pen and at work and at home you can write to my mother to take at least five minutes, and I wait patiently to write and cry day and night. I can't live in peace because I'm a mother. He spooks some enchanted water that would not control himself, the wedding fool took possession and does what he wants, Maria my daughter-in-law said collect money I will not take care of you suddenly get sick We will hire a man for your money and let me look after you for 69 l.in November 1.1985, and for fluoride daughter-in-law and to talk Nechivo for the men's son Anatoly Nina, I unhappily have no daughters hope no one will suddenly get sick very much, tired at home I will lie down and worms will sit down if the neighbors take turns to look after and neighbors I do not need pain, and can arrange in the House-elders. There's still hope for Victor's son.I have everything I'm dressed up, and the soul hurts because I'm no one's need, and the money I have for the first time, in case of death will be buried for my money I worked and in retirement was imposed let my sons do not think that I'm their burden, I do not want from them only attention as to the mother, but the sky will not bury the sons so buried the fifteen-day men, but in real life it hurts to sit in the walls, and the walls hum with loneliness and only tears as if I do not wash away with evil.I do not do to the neighbors of the children, one Victor walks through Maria as a daughter-in-law and it seems rare, the reader wakes up to read and say, once he writes a daughter-in-law and another time my daughter-in-law so I have one Katsapka-Russian and the other Ukrainian-hungry.

Sivodnya September 19, 1985

Sergey has already served at home although he settled in Ivanovo in the School is studying, Vitaly still in the Army sent money to him ten rubles. in August and did not write and did not deign to notify him.  Grandma got or didn't get the money I sent him at least I'd write them I'd look for them where the money to go just evil doesn't have enough to write or completely refuse to protect them that they have, but I can do it if I'm unnecessary to them then unnecessary and they'd like me to know that they have no grandmother Zhenya, and I have grandsons of tre. And there are neighbors who are ready to swallow, jealous that I dress beautifully, ready to swallow with the womb that I do not drink do not smoke.

It is not possible to go out on September 29, 1985. You knit the rugs three rubles. knit, and you don't give you any incompetence I'm innocent that you are slackers, go to a stranger to say Karpikha baba Varka Yakovlevna I never went in a stranger I have all my own, I'm a penny and dress and eat, and you are offended for me go out.Our house has four of their hardened alcoholics, and how many of them there are women and men (although now the dry law is rashly drinking out a swamp that is tattered by a swine) finds, without a word to say gossip for gossip, but only called obscene words at least this alcoholic Maria Krutko from the 6th house and Baba Varka Karpikh Yakovlevna at our driveway, which is undeserving, and how many men do not deserve too much, and how many men are covered with obscene words when this big family runs out of God.I often sing to my grandson, and even on the side next to a large house for ninety families of the 6th and most alkaholics I often sing to my grandson and in general on Fridays such a song (emphasis added Kiselyeva)

The kids were crying, the neighbors were hiding.

When the drunk man came home

Why are you women holding on to your dog?

Better to live alone for a century.

Screaming me apart Old Mare

I came from work and want to sleep.

Removed the battered pinjac.

I took off my shoes.

He hates my silence.

Sitting slapstick.

I whisper to him quietly.

It's too cute to sleep.

My bitter drunkard is restless.

My patience has burst, too.

I took Vidro with the sack.

I put it on his head.

I sing to alcoholic women and men. The desire to leave this house will not change. I remember my sister Nyushu, she died in 1979, she has long since no resentment of her neighbor Sorokina Nagyka and her daughter Tatiana, and now I experience myself, where I lived earlier from where I was relocated, this has never been a scandal of quarrels with neighbors, and here came from different sides of the people and insulted quietly, unknowing villager.Anna Grigrevna’s sister was an old defenseless quiet woman she did not disturb anyone and Water. did not disturb, and they put a gem pen on her in the basement in the sheds, poured a bug under the door, shredded locks in the sheds, sent her daughter’s son Tatyanyen, in the common sheds there were torn castles and in the basements and in the yard that was under the coal, Anna was sick all the life when she was very bad lately and there was no one in the apartment and I am so bad that there is no faithful friend next to me and I am aloneShe helped our sisters a lot, she was a very kind character both as a person and as a sister.

Here's what she wrote 3.S. 12 o'clock in the morning I got very bad nerves, how hurtful that I'm so lonely, and most importantly there are no children to live badly when there is no protection loneliness is terrible, it tortured me no one cares about me die and someone disbelieves that I'm very sick, if I goish means non-binary, and walk because life itself forces through the force to walk.2.1 At 6 p.m., I feel bad 5.1 At 3 a.m., my heart is bad and my head hurts 5 a.m., but I still don't write. 25.U1 at 18.30 heartache 6.1X 78 g.Tatiana Topylo called me obscene words, and I'm seventy-three years old, earlier scandalized her mother Nadika Soroka, the water will be blocked, then the castle will break in the sheds I'm a German I'm a sick old man and she's fit in grandsons to me, and leads her very obscenely to the fact that she is the secretary of the Komsomol cell as she was this Tatyan youth, I began to work from fifteen years old, and type when I'm established by law for his rest, but I'm a young man.I haven't seen me live in this apartment for 20 years, and I've been having a lot of trouble all the time, and I'm going to come out with no room for them to talk, no room for them to grizzle. That's how I do it.I remember her, at home next to the 7th and 6th Krutko Maria Kryvonoga alcoholic she sat in prison all in tattoos as a dog this-and-moushi her husband stabbed naked and lyas and hands, smoking always affects me that I dress beautifully, and digests on another, that I stole a robe, however, I first of all on resettlement when I did not know her vision only moved, I was in her apartment looked at what kind of people, her husband Bory Tatars always affects me that I am beautifully dressed, and digests her leg to her nation healthy.I just shuffled her out, and I wore her a begging so that I wouldn't die of hunger, then margarine potatoes, bread of matches to her she smokes so she thanked the bastard crooked her 56 years, some raving I stole, and I didn't see her, both drink each other they steal on Vodka everything lies like a dog knits me with obscene words but I don't deserve them, my nerves hurt, I felt well adjusted my nerves.And in this apartment I live for 5 years and everything is nervous and I can not be nervous, I will be upset where they will be remembered from her, the vipers of the alkagols are eating me, already once gave the devils to her, she asks for more, I became afraid, although around people or old age or nerves. She hit me first, so I shredded her on the first number in general gave her a building, while I did not take away Mustchin, I dumped her and put her on her, and he walked past and dragged me away, what do you think you're doing?I say let the building hold its hands against me, you prison lady, you damn alcoholic. Finally, my son Anatoly complained.  Letter today 4.X 1985 I waited so long from the field, but the launch will not come writes because he has a lot of work to leave in the village of Chaadaevo amomogues mother-in-law to re-make the hut.And removes the vegetable garden, fixes the old fence to remove, and the new put oh how my head hurts nerves I can't go outside to go to the Hospital, in the neurologist 6 o'clock in the morning early at least as soon as 8 o'clock in the morning and went to the neurologist Novaya, she's a wonderful thing, why did the Prozenkova neurologist go before me, I said there lived to Prozenkova Lily I., and because she was my attending doctor, and now moved to the neurologist 7-2 years old USSR.I've been living here for 5 years and I'm going to town for treatment. She knows my medical history. Protsenko. There used to be bouts of Epelepsia, and now, thank goodness, she's been jeering me.Wrote Sergey Adris Father and he I will not write to him first in the School, I am an older grandmother, I will also set the principle I am not lower than him, writes Anatoly Sergey arranged in the school Fire Colmande wakes the Chief, and let my grandson learn for this he is good, and he will still have time to wrap his children, sent to Ded Gabriel Dmitrievich, on his way he also worked in the Fire crew 10 years before the War, and here is what my grandson does not write very well., he is a tall black Sergei, in the photo saw how he served in the Army in Krivoy Rog was molested by a military man, oh yes Parin Parinek will admire, well, God removes a violently sweet nebudish, the Neva has Grandma Dusya Borin mother Mama, who nursed him in childhood, then he writes this and his native Baba, and Grandma Zhenya somewhere? In the city of Pervomaiki for 20 years, I saw me twice, and everything and I him, and then my mother does not dare to write me letters I know the mustache.I'm not Anatoly that can be fooled, as they say Zhinka until Borschev cooks this time the man deceives, well, let him wake up by their word.I turned 69 years old on the day of my birth on the morning of November 1, I was still lying in bed, Friday I hear a bell, opened a telegram to me from the Son of Murom how nice it was to pour a chest of telegram and cry out of joy, congratulations on my birthday so my children Anatoly and daughter-in-law Nina are worried, and Vitaly still has no letter and Yura too.  He writes very rarely. We sat well on my birthday. Victor, Maria, Lyuda their daughter-in-law with the baby even sang songs. “Only for the birthday of a year”, I turned on the music, loneliness made me sick, forgot Vitaly for my birthday not congratulations non-letter, Vitaly forgot what I bought, and I scored two suits, bought two sweaters in “Pushinka”  But they are expensive, and the gauntlets I dressed them all buy grandchildren, and Grandma Zhenya is unnecessary, even 5 kopecks. regrets the envelope for Grandma. Dulda bloody tall white guy sailor 185 height and Yura too rarely writes, and here I wrote on the commander where my Grandson Dipped, relatives to be silent and Grandma is worried about climbing them more than silence I look for and instruct on the way I advise, and they want to be what.In 1947, I remembered when I returned from a carriage from Svyatosheno or from Kievskaya Poltava, my children asked where our own Father was? And to me, in vainly, I said that my father had fallen ill; he was not young; only I cried and they began to cry, although Anatoly did not know how old he was and cried in three. I write this rkopis and cry bitterly, it has been 37 years since I have not lived with my husband, with whom I have two children, two sons, why I could not forgive him then.When he died in 1978, I felt sorry for him, when he asked me in 1947, I remembered my youth, how we lived to film, how we loved each other and we were separated by the war, of course I do not know his graves, and even though I knew that everything is useless very far away somewhere in the North Ossetian SSR I remember and he is always in front of my eyes to stand, such and such happens. Watching a movie.  “Violet” and bitterly weep the life lived without him, that could not from his self-love, and for betraying him, to forgive him, I was so hurt in my soul, but I endured and was silent then as I could, and wrote at all sides Reader will understand me and wherever will not get epilepsy attacks everywhere the most woeful growth but to endure, and the nervous system shattered further from fear and growth, nervous, and all on my health. And now I'm gonna hurt you.Yura, as he went from vacation, will not write too, and I took and wrote to the commander of the unit Fedorchuk, and he answered me Your grandson Yura is alive healthy working as a welder responded well for the field, but he is not good to Grandma Zhenya of his native, who was born out of the mitten as they say, and I will also put the question, I will not write to him and I will not send him money let them live from their own. I'm unnecessary to them and they are to me 24.X1 1985Maria's daughter-in-law calls my neighbors. They have a phone. They have neighbors. They tell me that Sister Vera died at Voskrisen 24.X1 she is 72 years old. Mary pulled her leg before Vera died, what happened to you or was she nervous? Or I was scared no I was overloaded with work I was washing and now they are washing with a typewriter, on fluoride day I went to Maria and found out clearly, we are sitting talking and here comes Victor's niece husband, let's go, bury t by car.Vera, and my sister, we came out of the car, and the name look at the cold look but I like butto ignored, and in my heart it hurt from the people themselves, as butto everyone is unhappy with me, she beat off all the children and grandchildren from me, all turned away from me and I'm not guilty as only hurtful, one Shura her daughter-in-law Nikolai wife fair my niece wife knew well that she was willing to commit a crime on her own sister, Shura works.  She's an accountant in Gorispocom, she's lying to me and to Nyushu, but she's more silent than you can say that to the sisters.And Alke, as a daughter, wrote to my daughter-in-law that your mother-in-law had slandered my mother, and she said to Mary, I don't know who I slandered, of course she wakes up to protect her mother, and her aunt wakes up like her mother, Maria says how many of my mother-in-laws live and did not notice, and you think that you want to sort it out yourself, did not undertake to untangle the riggling ball of Ala and inflattened her lips on Aunt Zhenya. What can I do?On Zhuy Rotok not wearing a scarf, Came to the dead woman and the village was there 2 days sat there, the night as it should be the night to sit, on fluorine day buried at 2 p.m. 26.X1 1985 in the cemetery Pavlovsky, as usual spoke a woman from the funeral Bureau, read the funeral service now this custom, without Bpiushka buried means the funeral service reads a special person hired, Victor son restored tables for memorials delivered food in public helped as a niece of Mary was not on the day, she was fluorShe was not well, she had to give an injection. I will tell people that I am sick and Zhenya will not come to see me, I should not talk about my sister's family, so that I can not forgive her and survive it, but I will not hang myself, I cry bitterly found so hurtful even though I commit suicide. Sapozhnikova Valya she is my cuma my husband baptized her son Dmitry Ivanovich, she is disabled walking with a stick from the front, medium height.Faith says go to my sister Zhenya, and let her come to the mine but I did not go, although before death I ask forgiveness, for the untruth that I said to her, you argue with each other, and I do not want to go to her said, you argue with each other, and I do not want to go to her, so said Valya Vera thi so said to Zhenya Kuma, and they are neighbors flamboyant with Vera, although she is a fool but I feel sorry for her then and now, as a man does not want to go to her, and she says to us, that she is lying to us, she says to us, that she is a fool.I'm waiting for our sisters to think what to say, well, it's gone and there's no good to say. Her husband Alixagdr Grigorievich married a good woman in the village Shulginka, she worked as a nurse there in the village of Shulginka.

1985 November month 21.X1 by sniping tov. Gorbacheva M.S. What a clever too, as he cleverly says and every word in the sense, and reasonable for the preservation of peace on earth.I watch the meeting with Reigen in Geneva on television with an undiminished eye, as Reigen turns to Our Gorbachev with such a smile and went to the Redenzia with his waistband, but I think his smile is fake, he smiles here, and in his mind he thinks to do his own things shields that our Gorbachev will rely on his deception, we strongly distrust them.Reigen said that we will compete in space nasol where they compete, he shields us for fools, no, Mr. Reigen we are all battling against you vernei, fighting off you assholes, that other country attacks our Russia, but we will never give up our land, which, conquered by blood, we have already put on our father's pants as Khrushchev said.We already know how to fight to drive you bastards from Russia from our land, we are always ready to fight back, although many of us will die a lot, but we will fight to the last drop of blood, we will not idly wait for you to visit from our Rocketama distant and near distance. Gorbachev said we will never use weapons first. Reigen thinks that Gorbachev M.S. fooled him, he is our clever man he said never to dominate our land which was conquered by blood under the leadership of Lenin.Our people will fight and once again fight for death, the Russian people are undefeated, the Russian Ivan is strong, bold and proud. We do not rely on you, Mr. Reigen, and we are not sure that you will not deceive us, we are already scientists You have hidden and everywhere countries border their missiles with weapons from the Soviet Union.Gorbachev is fighting with all his might for peace and let the gentlemen know that we too are literate, as Gorbachev said I graduated from the Law School, and in general we have no illiterate people and now do not catch us by surprise, we are ready with weapons and people, to rebuff any gresura. When Brezhnev died, I cried and said what we would do without such a leader as Brezhnev.And it is even better people, we do not have irreplaceable people at any time eats anyone to ignore, what a clever M.S. Gorbachev, God give him a healthy prayer always to Nicholas the saint and I ask forgiveness from him, healthy though the Church and do not go, I have 5 martyrs two sons and three grandsons of the poor War, how many tears, unsurviving I am more than sure, will go to protect the homeland all five, both old and small, it is desirable that there is no war.In 1980, all the troubles from Kolesnikov A.G. stuck in my heart.He said to Mary, I say I will get to her before retirement, from hating me, and I thought I remembered all the people who worked somnogo in 33 years before the War in the dining room at Volkova No. 120 of all the employees of Shura Nikitin Pompova, Maria Shcherbin waitress, Marfusha Kislovskaya Buffet, and then left the Buffet as a waitress, she was sent by Komsomolskaya cell to the dining room before us.Ova Frosya, and then married the surname changed Klepkhtor stood at the handouts and washing was substituted, Trukhina Maria also stood on the handout and I was transferred to the dining room another then called the 4th building exemplary, and Shura Nikitina also transferred the cook. After all, I did not want to work in the canteens went to work in the Menzhinsky store, worked as a store Nastasia Naumovna, as a seller I worked, a little work I had a son Viktor born in 1935.But when I went to work, I was sent to carry bread in apartments then there was such a Prykaz and went to feed the ribbeck, the ribbeck had already grown up he was 2 or 3 years old, I took to my mother in Novozvanovka and I went to study at the courses of Sellers, finished courses and went to work 1937, in 38 I was sent to the store in the New World (underlined by Kiselyova) was the head.The Jew Minster forgot how to call first worked as a student, and then the seller stood in the fish department, where she was scolded by a wizard, there were almost no people at the store before the break, I took a fish Dried bream then all sorts of fish were on sale, where they were typtered, rose, and ate bent over the counter, and then the head.Magha, I ate a thief that I did not see and he jumped, Zhenya, if you have to eat such a ribin, then I have a hair on my head will not feed you, I have a lot of you in the store and there was a mixed store paying for you, I was so hot and gave me so shame.I'm all burned out, I think I should probably deceive people to socialize, after a break, I began to humiliate, to socialize where 2oo g I say 300 g where 500 g I say 700 g How started me all scolding went to the wiz-magic complain, here he goes, I stand drazhya, what do you do Zhenya after critique of the store that would go into the office or wait until the end of the working day I tremble after work, and he came out of the table and says strokes me on the shoulder and says, how do you think in the storeFor free, I've lost my heart, I've lost my fear of, uh, I think that's how it works, but the cappuccino fish 5-60 then was a kilogram. That's how it works. Until 1941, I worked in the store and honestly and cheated people. When the fluoride ribok was born. Anatoly 1941 June 22 at 5 p.m. The morning when the war began that day, let Alexander G.I earned my pension honestly, but only I remembered all the people with whom I worked only one grief that when the shell fell at our house in Novozvanovka, they stayed there at the War, all the documents and everything died.

But I took the people I worked with and got a pension. My daughter-in-law Maria dies on September 2, 1986, and was buried on September 4. My beloved Grandson Alkagolik has been reminded of him for 28 years after the funeral that it is not too long where Grandma is and where strangers I pulled him enough to drink so he threw a glass and started screaming at the bottom, I stared at such a day mourning my eyes I do not believe.You tell me my mother is still breathing and you're already shukaesh Things to death, but I've lived 70 years I don't know what and how, a person ends up, nada in narsols to look for Things so that while the dead is warm it's better to clean him up, then you wake up to look for a drunk face or daughters-in-law.How they're messing around, and if there's nothing to wear, then I'll go home to Shiba and bring my own thing to her death, shout that you're a ninth in this house in this apartment, and yell at the bitch you're your old mother vozeto say grandson I've smeared his face with a drunken Victor didn't give us a fight I don't know how he't know, but said you're a wretched woman and not a man I don't know where they're lying.I jumped home and began to snoop on pasta for borscht to the cooks, Maria had already died, I had two cans of liter next to me but I mistakenly took the juice and the pasta stayed at home, and got in here, Vobshem shouts that here in the Father and did not take the fingernails, but it found it for me although I helped them all and clicked, and that I took the old one into the coffin it is unnecessary for me, I lived with Tyurichev, I gave it from the vinevo.And my sister, when she was alive, rewrote the money to me and my sister Vera, I divided my share into two parts and gave Victor and Anatolia to my sons, we young them a lot of nada, and I will have old books of saving real estate.That's how Yura insulted me, so my sons kind of didn't insult you, and you insulted the alkagol undeservedly I once didn't remove obscene words from them and you bastard insulted his native grandmother, I cried and came out of the hut came down from the 4th leg and went to the neighbor Vali in fluoro the move cried to fullness while they brought me the keys to my room, they were at my coat in their room at Victor, brought me the coats and I went to the tears home, I think I'll tell him for Vera.Soon he came before me to ask forgiveness, and I forgave him to kiss his fool.

1988 in January does not abandon his habit of working as a welder earns a good 100 rubles. and drank, back parted with his wife Anya, she fed him like an outsider from the Army came together, he gained his mind and he is still so, 30 rubles. drank well, what is there to talk with an alcoholic, but I have no strength I want him only death so that he does not torture us all.I remembered how I drowned a bull in 1924 or 1925, Rozhko we called him, went to plow the individual workers worked the land itself then the collective farms I was not 10 years old, lead the bulls to the plow, father keep the plow, and I drive the Bulls in the furrow as usual.My father took Vera's older sister, but my mother needed to smear the house to wash clothes at home, and I replaced her with a father for lunch, harnessed the bulls and said lead them to the front of the podium to drink their critique sridi fields stood there, took the water a large crunit with a squirrel of 2 microns I so tied led both Rozhko ao slipped when he drank water from the crinitz and crawled into the creenium wither.I ran to the Father, and the Father rested under a bundle, we ran and Rozhko in the rinitsa is a rivet, feels that it is a pity to die to watch both cry, then my father began to call people who worked the land in the steppes, began to drag the bull out of the krinitsa, and he died slaughtered the Bull and my father gave meat to people by loan until winter to people, it was September or October month. People when they will cut in autumn or winter will give, the market was far away in the city.There is no need to go back, but 7 or 8 kilometers. My father beat me because I couldn't hold the bull.

We came home with a bull. The bull bear's name was fluoride. My mother saw how much I would get, what we would like to do, we were poor than we would plough, and then began to harness the cow, and she did not want to be in a harness how much flour was taught, and the land to cultivate nada, Rozhko was chernobulan and Mishko Ridge like a cow he grew up from her, and Rozhko bought little grew up at home.That's how it was in those years, and now we live as gentlemen of the mustache, we live in comfortable apartments, and there is no joy but grief.

30.1.1988. My beloved meticulous grandson is drunk with tears and then tells me that the Father is not my Father, as Vitalki so buys a mustache and I do not, I scolded him on the first number, as they say, my son caught my heart I do not bruise him because he was drunk to cut and hit, asked my father 40 rubles, and he did not blow me up, interestingly, how much you can pull from the Father, you came from the labor army in June 1986.He bought Jeansy and 2 pairs of shoes still bv my mother is alive, a hat from nutria, and the typist another came Vitalka in the savage of 1986 and gave him something to buy fashion, took the dungi bought this hat from a fox and his wife Luda did not wear it for 170 rubles. and took 200 rubles. nada Jeansy to buy and Boots bought for 45 rubles, except for these 200 rubles., and Vitalka made for these dangs good name-day 5-year-old daughter of a non-worker, and Vita took 20 years from February 87.Vitalka still undetached live in a family dormitory with his wife Lyuda, I said Vitalka do not celebrate your birthday you did not earn a birthday for Vodka and she is expensive, when I earn next year will celebrate the day of his birth, netauk luxurious gum sushi only from the army. Yuru we separated what we could give getting an apartment, although not expensive, but for the first time gave everything.Persian carpets could not be spoken unintelligibly, but we gave the necessary help and we bought some bagaters ourselves, and my mother and I gave a watch of shoes a cut of 100 rubles, and in childhood I bought everything. Mary Mother 20 L  I did not work until I died, until 8 years old he lived with me as I did and wrote earlier, until the school now says I do not want to bear the name Kiselyov, on this day I went to the Father took his breasts from my father and then came at 11 o'clock in the morning nerves to shake me I opened the door and drove out of the apartment, said the ungrateful svenya, how much you have to give and help your father for 29 years. I get 52 rubles. And you and your wife work and cope as you want, so you got 250 rubles.And a hundred of them drank in February of '88, and Anya split back, go live yourself and you Grandma don't come to us, and I rarely go only when you're doing well and there are very few good things that are bad, and we live near the house as if I didn't go to the 7th house and they in the 8th house further b lived less know-b and less worried-b, one grief and not grandchildren. A member of the army came to another organization.  "Albert."  Mine 1 to Varenya V.I. The boss can drive out for Vodka Alcoholics are unnecessary, in order to work decently and Budish work, and they will appreciate you will not be driven out, Here the father is not driven out clinging to him and already the pensioner does not want to quit, and what to do at home? And they make a recalculation and wakes up more pnsia to receive now he gets 150 rubles. and nada mine 176 rubles. You failed at Father Victor.Vitaly lives in a dormitory family works too in Shakhta, he was in the Army wife did not want to live or learned not from the Kiselyev father-in-law, settled at the family hostel.Here Yuri had jealousy that he said Vitalka arranged his father in the mine on a blat, took a box of Vodka and arranged for the bosses to break like a creature, all this is not true, where Vitalki was there he got settled only the Father talked from the superiors as well as the shto, prompted him, go to the mine khto thibe does not give Vitalka 21 years in the thiba 29 years already beset by his head to think.

In 1987, winter this year heavy snow poured a lot, more than that in our country and abroad, some elements in our Georgia, a large flood flood of flooding made winter as before the pasture case for case. I remember it was like winter, and I was still eating milk. 11 years I was kept cattle were the sole members of the collective farms then was not.My father cut through the snow paths of the tunnel to go to the sheds, the funnels of the well it was a long time ago, and I now 71 years old then did not go in shoes in winter as now all winter walk in the shoes of the mushchin, and everyone walked in broken boulders, so that the feet would freeze, so that snow did not fall into the gutters. Here at the Fatherland War, when the Germans occupied our country attacked us like dogs, they walked in headscarves, wrapped themselves around and tied rags on their feet, we asked how your winters are very cold?We have a weak winter of such cold and snow I say the devil brought you here and they say we send Hitler Shaise Stalin not reconciled, and we suffer in your Ukraine.When the shell fell our house I was sitting in the basement and there was a fight in Novozvanovka, Nikitovskaya Branch and Red Lake there is a convenient place to fight, the German looked into the cellar, and we are sitting in my chest ribbok on my hands, he knotted the creek ice and closed us and my older boy was sitting with a slip of Vitya when the projectile fell into the hut it was carried out through the door to the barn through the storeroom, we built the first hall then the kitchen, and then the storeroom, and in the barn when it was cold cow or climbing the cow window.It is good that the eyes went away safely and began to see well, but I was very frightened thought that my ribbach wakes up blind for life then was 6 years old, the winter was cold but the snow was a lot in 1942, but in 1943, I well remember I dug in January dry ground lying yards I dug, people left the apartments where they left the apartments and went to save their souls from hunger in the war.

Here I read the newspaper Trud there is such an article for April 2, 1987, Thursday, and there is a headline written under a Soviet license. There are installations on a number of enterprises of the Federal Republic of Germany, I think that if we were enemies in writing with them, contacted enters the cantact let this side of the GDR, and the soul lies, as I remember their green shushel so damned have already passed a lot of time and they never forgot our family destroyed.One of the main critics in the selection of partners for us is the degree of novelty of a particular Technological solution, often such options are offered by medium and even small firms that are projected in their structure to the external market.We all have enough of our country so rich we will do without them, the damned I have been crying for 47 years and can not watch movies as I have already written that their boots from horseshoes ring day and night in my ears I turn off the movie in TV for them.Once I ask my son Victor, do you remember how we arrived at night from Novozvanovka to Kalinovo and then to May Day and stopped at Aunt Vera's, and then got upset from sister Vera and went to an empty hut, apartments were a lot empty and malfunctioned from sister through the cow she wanted the cow was her.The empty apartment was empty, but there was a bed on the nets and I took the table from another apartment, I made chairs out of camels and picked herbs on stone stools and put the child on the grass on the bed, there was no bed sleeping from the children like a pig, and when I went to tear grass for the cow, the ribbeck laid in the trough ragged.  found on the garbage can and tied a stitch or stocking that would not crawl out of the trough, and she went to cook hay for the winter for the cow, son of Vitya you remember how I polished pasta cow Lidukha from grandfather Horotunov yes I remember? he is Victor now 53.In April of the month, the 6th man had a knot on his leg, then I was told that your cow was grazing into people in the garden, and where my shepherd had gone, I did not find him, I ran, and Liduha ate the floor of the corn garden, he was extreme, but thanks to no one else he did not chase, I drove home Lidukha she was white, it was already ready to milk 12 o'clock in the afternoon and my shepherd was then six years old to give home to his Cow, and my shepherdder walked.I kept looking around whether he was chasing after me. I didn't get away with all the cow she drove, and where my ribben he was so scared and came home all night, crying does not know where the cow was wowing, but I forgave him. The village of Troitskoe was then called the fourteenth company and now some call it old, ul.It's called Kartamish I remember very few years standing soldiers in our Kartamish and sleeping in us on the ground when I wanted to urinate at night then the Father took me out of bed, we all families slept on the same bed and the salads in the cattle slept on tolls a lot, a lot on straw, the Father took straw and sent on the finishing to the soldiers, I walked on the heads, trunks as I got into the toilet.Uncle Logven lived next to Brattya Demyan's grandfather built both huts next to him, and there was another brother Petro lived with them a little further with his parents, he was married he went mad, his wife spoiled him Logven's wife died t. Sonya, he married T. Fidora, who was born from uncle Logven son Grish, he now lives in Debaltsevo, now in the place where we lived in childhood, even the foundations  People were growing up, the street was canceled only nearby to stand a cemetery as Anton Martinenck was buried by my cousin Frosi, and she was Uncle Logven's daughter by Aunt Sonya.  We went from Vanya to the cemetery and saw where we lived in childhood. Sony and still have live sister Lyuba, and then my father took a plan and built in Novozvanivka where my childhood continued, the saldats left began to live peacefully here was something or the revolution or the war could not describe was a small us parents had four Nyusya, Vera, Vanya and I, and Victor was born in Novozvanovka.I still remember there on Kartamish sitting on the stoves froze neither to drown nor to cook in the dark it was a little underdrived with hunger was winter harsh sitting waiting for death, and suddenly a buck with a harness of a horse comes up, we all to the window in Uncle Grisha mother's sister Dasha's husband her name was Daria on the nation of Moldovans, came in the snow the cold horse loads his knee in the snow a bag of flour, coal on the splashes, well here we all lived.My father drank the stove, my mother fed us all, Uncle Grisha has long been dead. I am 71 years old and was born on November 1, 1916.

At night I remember how it was all as if brothers and sisters lived together, and now we ate each other, as Yura, dissatisfied with brother Vitalka, said that father gives you a mustache, but I do not. Mother no Maria she died in 1986 4.1 The funeral of Pomena all this money and himself married her cousin Nyusi working in the Central Comutator G. Pervomaisk and even designed the mother to sweep the entrances, and she handles 5 and Yetazhka, the Mother is old and sick.1948 Tyurichev D.I. worked as the head of the LCK. At that time I went to get help in the LCD to get the cow out of the Pohrib (then we had captured Germans in Pervomaya). He took the mans of the waxer and loaded the logs and boards from the engineer by a German, and the three came before me and pulled the cow that fell into the cellar, and the barn was standing on the cellar. People are people even though they are our enemies, but an engineer is a German to tell you what a poor country you have.Now I have no place to put a cow in the room, but he says how much good you have, and what good? Am I asking? From what to build a barn for a cow when there is nowhere else there are boards there, the forest all got people of wood who stayed here did not go anywhere, broke houses and typed and he says, here you have Bugs from Mine Breed you can make samanas and do anything barns and at home.We began to make samana in Pervomaiki, and the prisoners corrected the houses that were destroyed, made an iron-bitone factory where they make slabs for construction from the cement of the burnt-out rock I do not know how they do and now these rock mountains are in action.

In September 1987, I watched Mikhail Gorbachev’s TV show how clever he really was to replace Lenin, and I thought that those leaders who led the country as they were would not find a fair replacement. Khrushchev, Chernenko Andropov Stalin, but this Gorbachev M.S.For all the uterus exactly Lenin does perestroika, watch TV riding in Marmansk, but not sitting in the Kremlin and looking into major cities and abroad from his wife Raisa wife helps to agitate the people for the better to restore order.Gorbachev touched a piece of bread all right that people throw bread into the trash boxes whole loaves and even beat the legs is it possible to general impermissible, as he says earlier people themselves processed bread induvedually, they eat and left crumbs on the table they burn and chuckle, and now the bread is processed mechanically passes through many hands until the table comes to us. I remembered starving in 1933, but I didn't see hunger.I worked in the dining room during these years, and at this time the bread was on cards, the card system and I worked as a waitress, I was loved by the dining room manager Natal Prokofievna Prokofieva, I was a trusted person, she entrusted to fire the coupons on bread torn off, she protects how much bread the dining room No. 120 used up, takes and shields the coupons from the buffet, and then I will cancel them, and then I will put some coupons in my pocket, and then feed the workers, and they are hungry, they come from the mines that do not live.The waitresses served the river, and the bread eaten for a day was long ago, and the miners were given 1 kg of 200 bread, three-disposal 300 grams. 150 grams disposable. There is no bread that eats one soup, and I will give him 300 grams, and he takes and kisses my hand, and I quietly threaten him, eat mute, or mine will take off the work and so I say to every worker, fed him stolen bread, I will go to the buffet like I tore off the card cards to the pod.  The bartender's coupons, and from her I carry bread at the table waiting for me as God, in the dining room, hunger is not mother was afraid that the head did not notice these people working miners say at home I gave bread this waitress Zhenya beautiful in the Red Baret. Culking, now make artificial coachmen, but I had my own natural and now the time has passed 1941.I came from Novozvanovka to May Day and it was like we residents went to the Sovkhoz to dig up potatoes in the field and I met one working daughter Vera, she worked as a foreman already our Red Army chased the Germans, only the heels got into the ass, still went War somewhere to the west fleeing Germans, Katyusha gives them Drozdy she came up to me to say Is you Zhenya?I'm telling you how tortured you are, I'm saying I've had as much grief as I've endured, but let's not say, I'll come to the bushes over there, I'll grab you some potatoes at night, I'll come and eat you, and I'll pick up something I don't see clearly. I brought some potatoes and we could live on the parole and she and I. After all, you saved our Father in the dining room from starvation in the year 33 from death. In 1987, he threw away two loaves of bread.I took the dried and took my friend Darie Savel, she has chickens, I can't look when the bread is lying down.  It is a great sin that bread is lying down at the foot and not take and the Lord punish me from under my feet if I do not take people, good people, do not throw bread under your feet without it, this is our wealth, this is our life. The earth is rich as a mother; keep us in the world; protect bread as ourselves. Do not throw bread under your feet without it, as a man who lived in the world without blood.The German who dragged a cow from the Tomb along the logs on the boards Hans went to the hut and looked at the Children and gave the children a piece of bread for two Victor and Anatoly one was 7 years old, and the other about two years old, and I am surprised to say that you are given bread we have already weaned to eat bread real ate skins and rotten potatoes. Yaya, the alliance to feed us well prisoners, sent to the mine, so as not to die of hunger and in the mine gave bread 1200 grams.They found muzzles, the Soviet authorities realized that their tooth was sent to fight Hitler, and they were rotting cheaply on the spot, but it was impossible to look at them.